Immediately, the second it was out of her mouth, Maddie knew it had definitely not been the right thing to say. He knew that she was referring to the rumor that had been circulating Caleb's last few weeks of school, the one that his own girlfriend, Charlotte Callahan, had started. She could see it on his face.
His lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes resigned. And something about his expression broke something inside her, because a part of her wished that the rumor hadn't been true.
"It was true then?" she whispered, her throat closing up, eyes suddenly stinging.
"Get out," he said lowly.
"Caleb-"
"I said, get the fuck out!"
Maddie let out a shuddering breath, the paper invoice still clutched in her hand, and then she turned and fled before he could see her cry yet again.
TWENTY
Rage.
Rage and memories and that hot, desperate feeling whenever he saw his bedroom door open in the middle of the night swarmed Caleb until he put his hands to his head and crouched on the dirty floor of the garage. His breaths came out fast until they were like sobs scratching at his throat.
Caleb wasn't proud of it, but he immediately stood up and stumbled over the wood cabinet on the far wall of the garage. His uncle had liked his whiskey. Many nights were passed in this very garage where they'd both had a wrench in one hand, a tumbler of amber liquid in the other.
The bottles were all still there since Caleb hadn't had the heart to move them. Like a morbid shrine, they sat glittering in the fluorescent light and Caleb reached in and grabbed the fullest one. And then he took a long, burning sip.
The whiskey raced a fiery path down his throat and warmed his insides. He took another and then another until the panic slowly receded. It didn't disappear entirely, but it was more manageable.
Caleb had always tried not to turn to alcohol whenever he felt a panic attack coming on. He was afraid that he might become dependent on it, but at the moment, he hardly cared. He felt like getting drunk, until Maddie's words washed away from his mind, right along with the memories.
You don't remember me, do you?
Caleb gave a bitter laugh and it echoed in the empty garage.
Oh, he remembered her, all right. Now he did. He hadn't realized that the same girl he'd sat with that afternoon had been Maddie, sure, but he remembered the girl she'd described. He thought about her on occasion … remembered her glittering eyes and the tragic sadness etched, seemingly, into her entire body. Had he known she was Thomas' sister? No. He simply hadn't made the connection.
But the worst thing was that she knew. She knew his darkest secret, made not-so-secret by his bitch of an ex-girlfriend, who'd betrayed his trust in exchange for a juicy piece of gossip for her friends. The rumor had spread like wild fire around the campus. Everyone knew. It got so bad that Caleb had to finish the last two weeks of high school at home, although his uncle had never known about it. He hadn't been able to set foot inside that school without heavy stares and whispers. He'd stayed home instead of going to his graduation ceremony, feigning illness so his uncle wouldn't suspect anything.
He took another pull from the whiskey.
So many lies, when all he'd really needed was to tell one truth.
Another pull.
Another pull.
Another pull.
* * *
Maddie didn't go home.
She stared at the door of the office for two hours straight, wondering if Caleb would return. But he never did. Slowly, she heard the men below leave, until she was sure only Brian and Peter were left, like usual. When the clock eventually slid to eight o'clock, there was still no sign of Caleb.
She'd gotten very little work done, unable to stop thinking about what happened in the garage. Every time she pictured that resignation on his face, she wanted to vomit. The horrible things he must've gone through …
Maddie finally shut down the laptop, knowing that she'd wasted the evening. Realizing that she wouldn't be able to go home tonight without knowing that Caleb was all right, or as all right as he could possibly be, she ventured downstairs, nodding at Brian, before making her way back to the second garage. She felt guilty for bringing up the past. The least she could do was apologize.
At first, Maddie thought that Caleb wasn't there. The overhead light was still on, the harsh florescent lighting illuminating the heap of metal on blocks, but there was no sign of him. At least until she heard a clink of glass and a clumsy curse.
Maddie hesitantly stepped towards the noise, rounding the front of the car, and peered into a darkened corner of the building. And there he was: slouched against the wall, one knee bent, one leg stretched out in front of him, a half empty bottle of alcohol dangling from his loose fingers.