Beyond Broken(47)

But she also knew that she'd be disappointed with herself if she did go through with it. She'd waited for the right guy to come along all these years. Maybe he would never come around. Maybe she'd be a forty-year-old virgin and live with twenty cats, who'd eventually eat her when she died alone. Maybe she would regret this, but at least she knew that she made this decision true to herself, to her values. Maddie didn't want to settle. Unless Caleb gave her any indication of wanting something more with her, she wouldn't sell herself short.

So what if telling him no might be one of the biggest mistakes of her life? So what if being around him was hard enough without wanting to jump his bones every second? She would survive. And she'd leave him with her dignity in tact and she'd be proud of herself, even if she went home alone, yet again, and cursed herself.

"I'm not going to do it," she told Kyra.

Kyra tried to hide her relief. But all she said was a simple, "Okay. Then let's get back to our dates."

As luck would have it, right when they stepped out of the bathroom, Caleb was heading towards the men's restroom. He paused when he saw her, and Kyra looked between the two of them and then said, "I'll see you back at the table."

Maddie shifted on her feet as Caleb stared at her, studying her, and then he said, "I see you've made your choice."

He knew. If Maddie wasn't so uncomfortable with this situation, that fact might even bother her, that he could read her so easily.

"Yes," she said, nodding. "I've decided not to."

He was silent, even as a man pushed past him to get to the restroom. Maddie glided a little closer, realizing they were blocking the way, but she couldn't quite meet his eyes. So, she stared at the material stretched over his chest.

She felt like she owed him an explanation, even though she wasn't particularly sure why. Something told her that it took a lot for him to ask her in the first place. The least she could do was give him a reason.

"I think it would be a mistake. I'm … " her face went red, debating what she should tell him. She didn't want to tell him about her complete lack of experience, so she went for a half-truth. "I'm not one for casual sex. I'd be disappointed in myself, no matter how much I want to say yes."

The last part came out as an embarrassed whisper, but she kept her chin high and didn't look down at the ground like she wanted. She was proud of herself that she'd told him.

Caleb was silent, long enough that Maddie thought he might not say anything at all and she was debating whether to walk away or not. Then, finally, he rumbled out an, "Okay."

Her eyes snapped up to his. "Okay?"

He nodded. "I can respect your decision."

Well, that was … unexpected.

Some treacherous part of her, one she was ashamed of, had wanted him to fight, even if it was only a little. He gave in rather easily, though her mind had already been made up.

Stop it, she told herself. She was being ridiculous.



       
         
       
        

"Okay," she said, dumbly. "Well, then, I'll, uh, see you tomorrow." She'd meant it as a statement, but it came out more like a question.

Caleb nodded. His head tilted a little, looking at something to her right. And then, suddenly, he grabbed her by the waist, ignoring her gasp of surprise, and kissed her. Maddie's lips automatically parted, kissing him back without even thinking about it. The warmth of his mouth, the taste of his tongue, was familiar to her now. It was easy to get lost in it even though she knew she should pull away. It would only make it that much harder to walk away.

He sucked on her bottom lip and then she did the same. When she felt his fingers digging into her waist like he never wanted to let her go, she moaned and in response, Caleb's hips tilted forward until she could feel the hard press of him against her stomach.

Heat flooded her, making her dizzy. A warm rush between her thighs made it hard to focus or think about anything but the man kissing her. He was dangerous with those lips. He could make her do anything when he had her like this.

A dry, forced cough sounded beside her and Maddie pulled away, dazed. Paul stood next to them. He'd obviously been on his way to the bathroom and spotted them.

She gasped and pushed Caleb away. "Paul! I, uh … "

Her words faded away as she remembered the way Caleb saw something right before he kissed her. When realization hit her, she glared at him. That prick! He'd done it on purpose.

And all he did in response? Wipe his kiss-stung lips with the pad of his thumb. She shouldn't have found that movement ridiculously sexy, but she did. Then, he said, "See you tomorrow, princess." He walked into the men's restroom, like he hadn't just kissed her when Paul was coming towards them.