Beyond Broken(35)

Caleb made a sound and for a second, Maddie thought it might have been the beginnings of a startled laugh. But this was Caleb they were talking about and she'd never heard him laugh before, or even genuinely smile when it wasn't a sarcastic smirk.

Slowly, Caleb stood from his crouched position, looking down at her sitting cross-legged on the ground.

"Come here then if you're cold," he told her.

She blinked up at him, her heart skipping a beat. "What?"

"Come here," he said again, gruffly.

Maddie didn't know what 'come here' even meant, but she hesitantly pushed up from the concrete and drew closer to him. Caleb took her by the shoulders and gently pushed her into the wall.

"Keep your hands there," he told her, placing them against the building wall. "And don't touch me."

"Okay," she said, surprised she could even form that one word through the lump in her throat.

Caleb drew their bodies together, their fronts pressed tight, his warmth suddenly seeping into her shivering skin. She almost lifted her palms to pull him closer, but resisted at the last moment. Then he bent his head down and tucked it into the side of her face. His palms held her upper arms tightly, but she didn't mind.

"Better?" he asked, drawing in a shuddering breath. She could feel how fast his heart was pounding, an after-effect of his panic attack most likely. She nodded against him, afraid to speak. "I just need a few more minutes out here. I just … I need this."

This was, by far, one of the most surreal, strange moments of her entire life. Standing outside in the dark, surrounded by cigarette butts and empty soda cans, being held by a man she was convinced hated her, as he tried to calm himself down. She wondered if she would wake up at any moment. Or perhaps find that this was all one big daydream and she was still in a lecture hall or in the library or in Caleb's office.

Either way, she didn't know what to believe.

It was nice though. Caleb was warm and solid and he smelled like a bonfire in the woods on a cold night, all smoke and musk and forest.

They stood together for more than a few minutes because Maddie unconsciously counted the seconds in her head. She reached 472 before Caleb's heart slowed to an almost normal pace. She reached 648 before his trembling stopped completely. She reached 829 seconds before she felt his head lower into her neck, before she felt the tip of his nose trace a line to a sensitive spot behind her ear.

"C-caleb," she whispered in surprise.

He didn't say anything in response, although Maddie didn't quite know what she wanted him to say. A moment later, he kissed her neck, the soft flesh of his lips brushing her skin. Maddie pressed her hands harder against the wall, staring at the the soft material of Caleb's t-shirt, eyes wide.

His breath was scorching against her neck. His hands gripped her arms tighter. Between their bodies, his shaft hardened, shocking her. She'd never been in a situation like this and she was both terrified and excited. She felt like the world was tilting on its axis and she would fall off at any moment.

Caleb's lips followed the curve of her jawline. Maddie shifted her head to the side, just a little bit, and then their lips met.

A sharp, surprised inhale from Caleb. A small gasp from Maddie. And then her eyes slid shut and all she could think about was Caleb's lips on her own.

25-going-on-70 Maddie, as Kyra liked to call her, had never been kissed before, except when she was six-years-old, stealing kisses from boys on the playground. But those didn't count. This kiss … this kiss certainly did.



       
         
       
        

For a man who hadn't kissed a woman in almost eight years, Caleb made her head spin. He was both demanding and gentle, taking her lips hungrily before softly stroking her tongue with his own. Nibbling on her bottom lip before soothing it with a delicious suck. Maddie wanted to clutch him closer, wanted to bury her hands in his thick hair, wanted so many things that she felt like her skin was too tight.

All too soon, it was over. Caleb stumbled away from her, breathing hard, and the cold air that took his place made her shiver. Her body felt heavy, the space between her thighs aching with want and unfulfilled desire. Her lips felt swollen and she saw Caleb glance at them before he turned away, murmuring, "Fuck. Fuck!"

Dread was already beginning to pool in her belly, but Caleb surprised her. Instead of the cutting remark she expected, he told her, almost gently, "You need to go home. Right now."

She wanted to argue. She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted to stay with him, to make sure he was all right.