Beyond Broken(34)

After Maddie's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she spotted Caleb crouched down in a corner, his back to the wall of the building, his head in his hands.

Maddie's heart was pounding and she took a few tentative steps towards him. "Caleb, what in the-"

"Just go back inside," he snarled, his voice rough and angry. But underneath, Maddie thought she detected confusion or hurt, so she continued to approach.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong. Should I call someone?"

"No," he bit out. "Just leave me the fuck alone."

Maddie couldn't tell if he was in physical pain or if he was having some kind of panic attack. If either was true, she had no idea what she could do for him, but one thing was for sure: she wouldn't leave him alone, no matter how much he tried to make her.

So, she crouched down in front of him and reached out to touch his shoulder, slowly, as though he was a wild animal in need of taming. "Caleb."

He flinched at her touch and finally showed his face. He was still pale and he was shaking. His hands trembled as he pushed her hand away. "Don't touch me," he said hoarsely, but his tone lacked its usual viciousness. It was panicked.

"Caleb," Maddie whispered. "How can I help you?"

"Please don't touch me."

"Okay, I won't. I promise," she said slowly. She planted her palms on the cold concrete. "I'll keep them right here."

He drew in a shuddering breath, looking down at her hands. Even through the darkness, Maddie could perceive how frantic his eyes looked. Something in her ached when she looked at them and suddenly, she knew what this was about. At least, she thought she did. And if she was right, all she wanted to do was hold him.



       
         
       
        

Caleb's breaths were coming out fast, like he couldn't get enough air. Maddie wondered if anyone had seen him like this. And in the back of her mind, she knew that he'd resent her even more once this was over. He would think this was a weakness, one that no one should know about.

But for now, she wanted to do everything she could to help him. He'd helped her, all those years ago, even if he didn't remember. Not just when her father died, but once more, when she'd made a fool of herself in front of the entire school cafeteria. He'd been the only one to come to her aid then and she wanted to repay his kindness in full, even if he didn't want it.

"Can I do anything?" she whispered.

"No," he croaked.

So, Maddie simply stayed with him. Caleb looked at her for a while, their eyes connected, not saying anything at all, and Maddie stared right back. It wasn't uncomfortable, not in the least. It was simply … acceptance.

Maddie didn't know how much time passed, but eventually, Caleb's breaths shallowed and the trembling slowed.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat? Or maybe some water?" she asked, quietly, almost afraid to break the lengthy silence between them.

He shook his head.

"Okay. How about I drive you home?"

"No," he rasped, sounding like he'd just swallowed a handful of sand. "I'll stay here tonight."

Maddie didn't argue with him. Something in his expression told her that he needed to, not because he wanted to.

"I can't go back there," he murmured quietly, almost to himself, like he forgot she was there.

"Where?"

"To his house. To her house. Jesus, I don't know," he said, pinching his brow. "Fuck, I can't think."

"Shhh, just rest, Caleb," she said soothingly.

Another silence dropped between them and Maddie couldn't help the shiver that ran through her. It was a cold November night and she'd left her jacket upstairs. And now that she wasn't scared that Caleb might be sick or going through some sort of mental breakdown, the frigid air hit her like ice picks.

Caleb eventually noticed and said, "You should go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Maddie immediately shook her head. "No, I'm not leaving you. Not yet."

The old Caleb had yet to return, but his lips still flattened into a grim line. "I'm fine, Maddie. It'll pass."

"Then come back inside."

"I … I can't. Not yet."

"Then I won't either." She sat more comfortably on the cement, but continued to keep her hands planted, just as she promised. 

"Jesus," Caleb whispered, staring at her. An annoyed spark lit up his eyes and Maddie was relieved to see it return. "You're a real piece of work, aren't you?"

"Yes," she said, with a small half smile. "My father would be proud."