Once, she’d longed to hear him say those words. When she’d been a terrified teenager, when she hadn’t been able to deal with the guilt and shame and horror of what had happened to her…she’d longed for him. She’d broken, her whole world imploding when her father had passed away so closely behind her attack by Quincy.
And a psych ward had become her home when she’d lost control.
I screamed for Ethan. But Ethan hadn’t been there. “Let’s be clear on a few things.” She kept her body stiff in his hold. “Our relationship is over. Long over.” As in…years over. “It ended one blood-soaked night when you put me in a cab and just walked away from me. You didn’t contact me again…you didn’t so much as call me. You built up your life and you moved the hell on.” Now she jerked back, tearing out of his hands because she didn’t want his touch. It made her remember too much about the past. “And now, so have I. Just because I returned to D.C. to help my sister, that did not mean that I went back for you.”
His eyes glittered with emotion.
“Now get out of my way, Ethan. Because we’re done.”
His blazing stare raked over her. “How many secrets do you carry?”
She wasn’t going to keep talking to him in the middle of that crowded street. In fact, she wasn’t going to keep talking to him at all. She had a life now. A good life. She wasn’t going to throw it away. Her past—and the secrets there—were locked up tightly inside of her. Carly took a deep breath, and she gave Ethan a wide berth as she headed around him. If he wouldn’t move, she’d just keep going on her own.
Keep going…and keep in control. Carly knew maintaining control of her emotions was vital. She’d contained her pain and anger for years. Nothing got past her control these days.
But then she heard his footsteps, and Carly realized that Ethan was following her.
No, no, no.
“I let you go once before…” His words drifted to her. “Do you have any fucking idea just how hard that was for me?”
Impossible. “You sent me away.” She kept walking.
“Because I’d already brought you blood and death and hell.”
No, she’d done that…herself.
“I can’t do it again,” Ethan said. “I won’t…”
The crosswalk light up ahead was red. She had to stop at the corner. He closed in behind her, and she could actually feel the warmth of his body reaching out to her and then—his fingers brushed along her hip. Her eyes closed, just for a moment, as her control cracked, faint spider-webs of emotion breaking through the surface.
Then she made her eyes open.
“I want something for myself,” Ethan said. “I want you.”
Liar, liar. “You’ve got plenty of women, Ethan. Go back to D.C. Go back to them.” The crosswalk light changed. Green. Yes! “Leave me the hell alone.”
“Sorry, baby,” his voice murmured after her. “But that just isn’t going to be possible.”
Her steps quickened. She didn’t look back at him. Ethan had left her alone for years. No visits, no notes, nothing. Now he suddenly wanted back in her life? Like she was supposed to believe he’d missed her or some crazy crap like that?
No, she wasn’t a fool. She also wasn’t looking back. Because she didn’t want to see if he was following her or not. She didn’t care.
Really.
Dammit.
She kept walking, heading toward her building. It was a brownstone—one that her company actually owned. She’d been allowed to take one of the apartment’s there as part of one very sweet employment deal. Some days, Carly still couldn’t believe her luck on that one. But she wasn’t going to question fate too much. After all the hard times she’d had, a little bit of good luck had been ever-so-welcome.
A few minutes later, she could see the hard, heavy lines of the building. Old architecture on the outside, but the place had been completely updated on the inside. She’d be home free soon, locked inside her home. No way would Ethan get to her then.
If he’s still following me.
Maybe she should spare a glance over her shoulder. Just in case. Just to be sure—
“Ms. Shay?”
A man in a fancy suit had straightened as she approached. Handsome, with close-cropped dark hair and blue eyes. He flashed her a quick smile even as he approached her.
Okay, now what?
“Ms. Shay, I need a moment of your time.”
The guy had better not be some kind of salesman. “I’m sorry,” she said, voice apologetic, “but I’ve had a really long day and—”
“Your wounds have probably sapped your strength,” he cut in, nodding. “No doubt, you just want to go inside and collapse after your first day back on the job.”