Didn’t you? It sure felt that way to her. She was so unbalanced, so unsettled…and maybe that was why the truth came out. “Quincy broke a part of me.” That was the way she’d felt. “Before you got there that night…before you broke in…” Say it. Say it. “He raped me.”
The silence in that car was stark. Stunning.
Terrifying.
She opened the door and risked a glance back at Ethan. The car’s interior light shone down on him, and he’d gone absolutely white. The only color in his face was his blazing eyes.
“I know you suspected.” He’d arrived after she’d already been attacked. But this—this was the first time she’d ever said those stark words to him.
His hands were clenched at his sides.
“You and I, we didn’t talk again, after that night…” Her heart was slamming into her chest. Get out of the car. But she didn’t move. “It was hard to get over it.” Why am I lying? It wasn’t hard. Freaking impossible. I still hurt.
“Baby,” his voice was a rasp. “You’re ripping out my heart. I’ve wished a fucking thousand times I’d gotten there sooner.”
She shook her head. “Then maybe his men just would’ve killed you.” Quincy almost had killed him. “I don’t blame you. I-I hope you know that.”
“I blame my fucking self.”
She had to blink away the tears that wanted to fill her eyes.
“If I could,” Ethan continued, his voice still so rough and ragged. “I would kill that bastard again. Only it would be slower. And he’d beg for the end.”
She shook her head. Hard. “That isn’t the way. It isn’t the way to get better.” And she was better. A nightmare hadn’t woken her up in weeks. So she still had trouble getting close to men. At least she didn’t vomit after a man touched her. She’d done that, the first time she’d gone out on a date after the attack.
But then she’d started her therapy. She’d been determined not to let Quincy or his ghost win.
And he won’t.
Maybe something had broken inside of her, but she’d rebuilt herself. Piece by piece. “My shrink is in that office. Dr. Nelson. I’ve had therapy, on and off, since the attack.” Dr. Nelson was the therapist she’d started to see after her last doctor had moved out of town. She’d been seeing Dr. Nelson for about seven months, but…
But this is the end now.
She put her heel down on the pavement. One, then the other, and she slid out of the car. The driver stood a few feet away, waiting, no expression on his face. “You okay?”
“Yes, fine. Thank you. For asking…and, um, for the ride.” Carly nodded to him. “I’m Carly, by the way.” She’d been so nervous before that she hadn’t introduced herself to him. Ethan had a way of doing that—making her forget pretty much everything else.
“Charles.” His head inclined toward her and he gave her a brief smile.
She wanted to smile back, but her emotions were spinning out of control. She’d lied when she told Charles that she was fine. Fine wasn’t even an option.
Carly could hear Ethan behind her. Climbing from the car. Part of her wanted to break and run away. Another part wanted to see just what he’d say to her.
She’d never told another lover the truth before.
He isn’t your lover. You shared some hot kisses with him long ago. And, okay, maybe recently, too. But he isn’t—
He turned her toward him. His hands were gentle on her. So incredibly gentle. Ethan’s fingers curled under her chin as he tipped her head back and she stared into his eyes.
“I should have gotten there sooner.”
Carly shook her head. No, hadn’t Ethan heard her? The attack hadn’t been on him. Quincy had been a sick, twisted psychopath. He’d—
“No one will hurt you again, Carly. If they try…” He bent and kissed her. Softly. Carefully. Like she was some delicate treasure to him.
She wasn’t, of course. But…
“If anyone tries,” he whispered against her lips, “I will fucking make him wish for death.”
Such a gentle touch, such a terrifying promise…because she knew he meant those words.
“You are perfect. Know that. Always have been. Always will be,” Ethan said as his forehead pressed to hers. He just—held her there, with traffic around them, with people hurrying past on the sidewalk.
“You sent me away,” Carly whispered. He probably didn’t know about her trip to the psych ward. Now wasn’t the time for that bombshell. One painful past reveal was enough sharing for the moment.