The doorbell rang and she swallowed those thoughts. She flung the door open wide and beamed at him. "Hi!"
He stood there, the sun shining down on his golden hair, and studied her for all of two seconds before he said with a grin, "You're pregnant, aren't you."
"I am!" she cried, and flung herself at him. "I just got back from the clinic. We did it, Logan. I'm going to have a baby!" His arms came up to band around her . . . and as a new wave of emotions battered her-gratitude, relief, and joy, mixed with the sadness of knowing she'd be leaving him soon-she started to cry.
"Hey now . . ." He held her as he edged her back into the house, closing the door behind them with his foot, never letting her go. "You okay? Are these happy tears?"
"Yes," she whispered. Mostly. "I'm overwhelmed. I just . . ." She sobbed into his shoulder.
"Shhhh." He held her for a few minutes, rubbing her back, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. She lapped up his affection, bathed in it.
Finally she sniffled and pulled back enough to look at him. "Sorry," she croaked.
"Don't be ridiculous." He reached up and wiped her wet cheeks with both big thumbs. "It's huge, life-changing news. That's got to be a lot to take in. You hoped, you went after your dream, you planned . . . and your plan worked. It's everything you've ever wanted."
No, it's not, a voice whispered in her head. I want you too. I want it all. I want the baby and I want to be with you. We could be a family together. A startled gasp flew out of her at her own thoughts, and her face heated.
"What?" he asked, brows furrowing with concern as he stared down at her.
She shook her head, her mind racing for a cover. "Just overwhelmed."
"Okay," he said, but his searching gaze still lingered, as if he sensed she wasn't telling him the whole truth. "I think a celebration dinner is in order too."
Tess reached up and cupped his face, letting her fingers play in his thick, soft beard. God, she loved his beard. "That's very sweet. Thank you."
"It'll be nice. You okay now?"
"Yup. I'm fine."
His gaze turned from one of concern to one of wonder. "I can't believe you're really pregnant. It's so soon."
"Your boys must be great swimmers," she said. With a mischievous grin, she added, "Michael Phelps – level swimmers, baby. You should get a gold medal."
He choked out a laugh. But then his face changed and he said quietly, "So . . . here's a question." His expression grew somber. "How much longer are you staying in Aspen? Are you going to stick with the doctors here, at the clinic for a while? Or is their job done, and you'll be going back to New York?"
A lump thickened Tess's throat. She swallowed hard and said, "Funny you bring that up. While I was waiting for you to get here, that was the only other call I made. I have an appointment with my OB in three weeks. So . . . I'll be here for another two weeks or so, but then yes, I'll be heading back to New York. I'll need to start preparing."
Logan's moss-colored eyes flashed and his fingers squeezed her arms, so quickly she guessed it was involuntary. But he nodded and said, "I figured as much."
She leaned in, pressing her chest against his, and stared into his eyes. "I know you've now fulfilled your end of the deal. I'll never be able to thank you enough. But Logan . . ." I love you. I don't want to leave you. I wish we could be together somehow. "We've become such good friends. I really enjoy spending time with you. You . . . You've been the best part of my time here. I mean that. And I hope you'll still . . . well, just want to spend some time with me before I leave. Beyond the appearances for your mother. I know you're not really obligated to, now that I'm pregnant, but . . . I mean . . ."
He peered deep into her eyes, slowly sliding his hand along her jaw to cup her chin. His voice was gruff as he murmured, "Of course I will. I want that too." He trailed his fingers along her cheek, then played lightly in her hair. "I told you a while ago, your friendship means a lot to me too. I don't text you every day, call you, hang out with you, solely because of obligation. That changed a while back." His gaze was so intense, it made her shiver. "I enjoy spending time with you too. It's very mutual, Tess. If nothing else, I hope you know that. That I . . . really care about you."
She drew a long, shuddery breath and let her head drop onto his shoulder. I love you, you big lug, she wanted to shout. I wish you'd let me love you, and I wish you could love me back. But she fought to make other conversation. "So, we'll, um . . . we'll tell your mom that I'm going back to New York soon, but that I'll be visiting you here once a month, for a few days each time." She looked at him again. "Which I will, Logan. I won't disappear. I'll hold up my end of the deal, don't worry."
He only nodded. She saw so much in his eyes . . . There was a lot going on, but she couldn't read him. She wished she knew what the hell he was thinking. She could feel that he wanted to say something, in almost palpable waves radiating off him . . . but instead, he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers, a tentative gesture. She leaned into it and turned it into a full, deep kiss. The spark ignited quickly; they stood there kissing, caressing, holding tight . . . It had been weeks since they'd slept together.
"Is it wrong to say I want you right now?" he asked gruffly, breathing hard.
"I was thinking the same thing," she said, grasping his face to kiss him again.
He grabbed her ass and pressed her tightly against him. She felt his cock getting harder by the second. Unable to help herself, she wiggled a little against him and he groaned. "The benefits part of this friendship . . ." he said between kisses as he made his way along her jaw, her neck, trailing his hot open mouth along her skin. "We've always been totally in sync there."
"Indeed. So maybe it's the perfect way to celebrate the good news," she suggested, her head falling back as he nibbled the sweet spot behind her ear. Her body arched, pressing against him. The feel of his erection already insistent against her belly made her feel powerful, sensual. She ran her hand along the ridge in his jeans.
He lifted her up in a swift motion, bringing a surprised gasp from her even as her legs locked around his waist. His wide, amused smile was so free and gorgeous, it took her breath away. Oh God, she loved him so much. She'd take him any way she could, as much as she could, for her short time left there.
With one hand on her back, the other in her hair, he kissed her and said, "Let's celebrate upstairs. For the rest of the afternoon."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Logan woke up in the dim light of sunrise. He was in Tess's big, cozy sleigh bed, with her against his side. A peek at her nightstand clock showed it was just past six a.m. Tess slept soundly; naked, warm, endlessly tempting. But he sighed as he drew her even closer, careful not to wake her. Today was the day. He'd been dreading this for two and half weeks.
It was the damnedest thing, though. They'd acted as much like a real couple in these past weeks as he'd ever been with his ex-wife. They'd gone out and stayed in, shared meals and laughs, made love every night . . . And yeah, they said all the time how they were just friends. Like a disclaimer. Every time he felt that intense pull that sometimes had them staring into each other's eyes, one of them would remark on how amazing their friendship was.
He never told her, never even hinted at it, but she owned him, heart and soul. And today, she was going back to New York to live her life with their baby . . . no. For the hundredth time, he reminded himself it was her baby. He wouldn't get to see this child grow up. He'd rarely, if ever, see the child at all. To think when he'd started this, he'd been fine with that . . .
God, he'd been so fucking stupid. Thinking he'd do her this favor, that it wouldn't really tie him to her, that he'd get to do a good deed but stay on his own, that he wouldn't get emotionally attached. He'd been blindsided. Tess Harrison was the most incredible person he'd ever known, and this deal had become everything.
She'd become one of his closest friends . . . maybe his best friend, really. She knew him in ways no one else did. No one since Rachel. He hadn't let anyone. But when he wasn't looking, without even realizing it, he'd let his walls down and let Tess in. And she seemed to understand him, appreciate him, just for who he was. And she . . . She was a marvel. She radiated light, kindness, intelligence, strength. Add to that how damned beautiful and sexy she was. He loved everything about her.