"Yes sir, Mr. Carter." She yawned. "So, the plan is, we'll do it again tomorrow night. And the night after that, too. Then we'll leave this cycle and wait for the next one, starting up again on day ten. Okay?"
"Okay." He pulled on his sweater, then located his socks.
"And," she added, her voice softer as she grew more drowsy, "let me know which night this week you'd like me to come have dinner with you and your mother."
"That'd be great. Will do." He gazed down at her. She looked so warm and cozy, he was tempted to climb back into bed with her. But no. They weren't like that. "All right, I'm going. Good night, Long Island Lady."
"Good night, Thor." She grinned and her eyes slid closed.
He gazed at her for a few seconds longer, then went to turn off the lamp on the dresser. The room went dark and he quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.
Chapter Seventeen
Tess rolled up her yoga mat slowly, frowning. The class hadn't helped; she still felt a little crampy. Deep in her heart, she knew she wasn't pregnant, that her period was coming. Dammit.
"Hey, Tess. You okay?"
She looked up, blinking. It was Carrie, the yoga instructor. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You just don't seem like yourself today. You're always smiling . . . today, not so much." Carrie's pale blue eyes peered harder. "You sure you're all right?"
Tess nodded and edged closer. "Just getting my period. So I'm a little off. That's all."
"Ahh. Say no more. I hate those days." Carrie gave her arm a little squeeze. "Feel better. See you next time."
"You bet." Tess took her things and left the room. Ten minutes later, she was sitting in her SUV. Snow had started to lightly fall; the flakes floated in the air, drifting like tiny bits of icy magic. She stared at the beauty outside her windshield . . . and a harder cramp hit, making her suck in her breath. Her eyes filled with tears. She sniffed them back willfully and started the engine, wanting to get home before the snow got heavier.
When she got home, she took a quick shower, then got into her favorite fleece pajamas, the red ones with the baby penguins. She pulled back the curtains so she could watch the snow fall outside the wide windows, then turned on the gas fireplace. It was one o'clock, when she usually ate lunch, but she wasn't hungry. She got into her bed, curled up under the blankets, and let herself have a little pity party.
Very few women got pregnant with the first attempt. She and Logan had only had sex three times last week, then she'd let it go, knowing it was too late in her cycle. The odds had been slim and she knew it. In her head, she knew all of that. But her heart . . . the disappointment welled inside her, merciless. Tears slipped free and rolled down her cheeks. She swiped them away and burrowed deeper beneath the covers.
Her cell phone buzzed with a text. Logan. How goes it, Long Island Lady? I texted this morning and you didn't answer . . . ?
She sighed. He'd texted a few minutes before she'd gone into her yoga class, so she hadn't been able to respond then. But she hadn't responded after it, and she could have. What should she say? Hi, I'm here, in a fetal position, crampy as hell and feeling sorry for myself? No. He was her friend, not her boyfriend. She couldn't lean on him like that, even though he'd told her she could. Yes, they texted or talked daily, and had spent time together over the last few weeks. But it felt like whining for her to tell him the truth. So she didn't answer the text. She pushed the phone away, closed her eyes, and decided on a nap instead. Exhaustion overcame her fast and hard, and she gladly let it drag her under.
* * *
Bubbles was licking her face. As Tess opened her eyes, she was foggy and disoriented. The light outside had changed; the sky was a darker gray and the snow was still falling. She reached for her phone to check the time and her eyes widened. She'd been asleep for almost two hours. She had texts and emails waiting, the many icons across the top letting her know people were looking for her. And she could feel it . . . She'd gotten her period. With a sigh, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom. After that, she took Bubbles out for a quick potty break and filled her bowls with fresh water and food. She made herself a quick cup of chai spice tea, grabbed a bag of white cheddar popcorn, and went back to bed.
When she was settled under the covers again, she checked her voice mails first. There were two messages: one from Logan, one from Dane.
"Hey, Tess." Logan's deep, sexy voice in her ear sent a shiver over her skin. "Not like you to not answer texts. Hope you're okay? Let me know. Call me, text me, something. I'll come and check on you by dinner if I don't hear from you. Bye."
She couldn't help but smile. He was sweet to be concerned. And yes, she hadn't answered for just a few hours, but she couldn't accuse him of being overbearing. He was right, she always answered right away. If it were the other way around, she might be concerned too. She'd text him back after listening to the second voice mail.
"Tesstastic! How are ya, girl?" Dane's jovial voice boomed over the line. "It's me. Julia and I got back from Cancun yesterday, we're home. New York is fucking cold and gray and I'm ready to leave again. Going back to work sucks. And you're not around, and that sucks too. I miss you. Call me, let's catch up. When are you coming home? Hope all is well. Love you."
She smiled, feeling his warmth. Her brothers adored her, and she adored them. She was very lucky to have such close siblings, and friends. Why was she still keeping her plans from them? She wasn't sure. She'd have to think about that some more.
Burrowing into her pillows, she texted Logan. Hi, I'm sorry I worried you. I'm alive.
His text came back almost immediately. There you are. Hi. Glad you answered, I was starting to worry. Just wasn't like you.
I know, sorry. Not feeling great today, she wrote. Had yoga, fell asleep after, took an unplanned two hour nap. And got my period. So . . . yeah. That.
Ah. Sorry you're not feeling well.
I'm fine. Just tired, crampy, and in a bit of a funk.
Ahhh. I get it. Well, don't be. We'll just try again.
Don't worry, Tess. It'll happen.
His kind words made tears spring to her eyes. Stupid hormones. Thanks, she wrote. I know. I'm fine.
Okay. Need anything?
Nope. Having popcorn in bed. Maybe wine for dessert.
He didn't answer right away. Then his text came in: Thought you weren't drinking these days?
She winced. I was joking, she wrote back. No worries.
You're upset, aren't you. Tell the truth.
She blinked back the tears. A little. But I'm okay. She sniffled, astounded at how well he knew her already. Are you at work?
No. Hospital with Mom. Radiation. Then I'll take her home, settle her in, etc.
Gotcha. Send her my best. Hope she's okay.
I'll tell her you said hi. Better go. I'll call you later. Enjoy your popcorn.
Thanks. Bye.
She put the phone down and shoved her hand into the popcorn bag. As she ate and misery welled, she decided popcorn alone wasn't going to cut it. Ordering dinner in was required tonight. Something delicious, with a decadent, chocolatey dessert.
* * *
The doorbell rang at seven thirty, startling Tess. She was curled up on the couch with her e-reader. After self-medicating with lobster bisque and pasta primavera with shrimp, then a slice of chocolate mousse pie, she'd fallen into a food coma, content to read on the couch all night and ignore the world. Now she slipped her feet into her slippers and went to answer the door.
Logan stood before her, snow falling around him, looking ruggedly handsome. Her heart soared a tiny bit. "Hi," he said.
"Hi," she said with surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"You just didn't sound right, even in texts." He lifted his hand, holding a white bag. "I brought cookies. With chocolate in them. Thought maybe you needed some."
Her eyes welled with tears. "You're so sweet," she whispered. "Come on in."
He did, closed the door behind him, and brushed the snow from his coat. Then, with his free hand, he tipped up her chin to study her face. Without a word, he pulled her into his chest and hugged her.
She broke down, sobbing into him. He dropped the bag lightly to the floor to wrap both arms around her. The feel of his solid embrace made her go molten. "I knew it wouldn't happen right away," she mumbled between sobs. "I knew we started after I'd ovulated, and we only did it a few times, so I knew the chances were small. Why am I so damn disappointed?"