* * *
Logan held Tess close. The moment was so powerful, so charged with emotion, it made his heart beat harder and his head spin. Her gratitude, joy, and relief were tangible, moving him more than he could grasp.
He ran a hand over the long curtain of her hair, down her back and up again as she whispered fervent thanks against his ear. The catch in her voice, the raw feeling . . . so many feelings. God, she made him feel, both emotionally and physically. He savored the feel of holding her. The feel of her body against his had his blood pulsing, skin heating. She was softness and warmth and beauty, intoxicating . . . He could drown in her. But all he said was, "You're welcome."
After a minute, he pulled back to look into her face. Her beautiful features seemed imbued with light. Had he done that? Before it went further, he said, "There's a few things I need to go over, though. I, uh . . . have a few questions. And, actually, a request of my own."
She blinked, then snapped right into action mode. He so admired her focus, her sharp edge. Must've been partly the awesomeness that was her, and partly having to keep up with an overbearing father and three powerful brothers. "Let's go into the living room and get comfortable, then. Sounds like this talk is about to get even more interesting."
Chapter Fourteen
Logan's heart started pounding in thick, heavy beats as he trailed behind her. The fire blazed in the fireplace, Bubbles seemed to be asleep in the corner, and he sat with Tess on the long, rust-colored couch. She sat on one end, facing him, tucking her long legs beneath her as she pushed her wild mane of curls back from her face.
"So," she said. "Talk to me. I'm sure you have questions."
"Yeah . . ." He cleared his throat. "Couple of things."
"The legal stuff?"
"Well, sure, we can start with that. I assume you're going to have papers drawn up by your top-notch New York lawyers. What exactly am I signing?"
"You'll be waiving all rights to any claim of paternity. I'll put your name on the birth certificate, for my child's sake. Every child needs to have that; a blank space would be mean. But as far as legal or financial rights or responsibilities, custody, anything of that nature, you'll have to agree to give up all of that. To be blunt, this won't be your child, Logan. Only mine." Tess paused, searching his face. "You sure you're all right with that?"
"One hundred percent," he said firmly. "I'd like to look the papers over, just to see what I'm signing, but yes, I'll agree to all that. C'mon, Tess. You can give a child everything in the world. Me . . . not so much. But . . ." He hesitated, not wanting to offend her, but he had to ask. "That goes both ways. You won't change your mind at some future point? Come after me and demand that I be a dad, start asking things of me? Sue me over it?"
She blinked and her jaw dropped. It was crystal clear to him those things had never even crossed her mind, which reassured him. "No," she said. "I won't. But if you want me to sign something swearing to that, I will. Reciprocation is fair play."
He only nodded. He trusted her. Then he said, "Reciprocation. . . Funny you bring up that word. Because I have a request of my own. Separate from this." Shit. What he'd thought of made sense on the drive over here, but now, saying it out loud filled him with apprehension. He'd sound like an idiot. Well . . . too bad. "I'm not saying my agreeing to be your donor is dependent on what I'm about to ask of you-it's not. Okay? I agree to do this, and on your terms. No worries there. But . . . yeah, some reciprocation of goodwill would be appreciated. I need a favor."
She smiled and said, "Okay, I'm listening."
"This might sound crazy," he admitted. "Yeah, it probably is. But I'm going to ask you anyway. Because I realized tonight, you're in a position to help me out with something too."
"Go on. How can I help you?"
He sighed. Was he really going to do this? Yup. Yup, he was. It was worth it. "My mom's dying. There, I said it."
Tess's gorgeous eyes filled with sadness. "I'm so sorry to hear that."
"Thanks." He swallowed hard and barreled on. "I realized that she's focused on me so intensely these past few months because she's afraid after she passes, I'm going to be alone . . . and maybe go back to drinking." He held up a hand before Tess could say a word. "I know I won't. I know I'll be wrecked with grief, but I'd like to think I can get through that without the bottle."
"I'm sure you will." Her voice was gentle, kind but not pitying. He loved that.
"Thank you. Anyway . . . so the thing is . . ." He shifted in his seat, raked his hands through his hair. "I thought, maybe if she sees I'm not alone, it'll help her relax . . . make her happy. So would you be willing to pretend to be my girlfriend for a while?" He watched her eyes widen. "Yes, I know it'd be a lie. I don't mean to deceive her, I don't want to play with her emotions, you understand? I just . . ." His chest tightened. "I want her to have whatever peace she can while she's still on this earth. If she doesn't have to worry about something dumb like this . . ."
"I'll do it," Tess said. "I can do that. You're doing me a tremendous service. I'd be very happy to return a favor, and for a good reason."
Now it was his turn to be slack jawed. "You don't think I'm crazy?"
"No. I think you're a son who loves his mother and wants her to be happy in her final days." Her mouth curved softly. "I can't think of anything more decent than that."
"Even though we'd be lying to her."
"For a really good reason."
He wanted to laugh. He was shocked that he'd even thought of something like this in the first place, and she was ready and willing to go along with it? Either she was amazing, or as crazy as he was. Possibly both. "It's insane. I know that. I just . . ."
"I said yes." Her grin and tone were playful. "But we'll have to construct a story. Basic things, in case there are questions."
"Yeah, you're right. Okay."
"Also, right off the top of my head? What about the fact that I'll be going back to New York in a few months? How do we address that when she asks?"
"Oh. Good point. Uh . . ." Damn. He thought quickly. "We'll just say at that point, we're having a long-distance relationship. Your life is in New York, mine is here. You're rich and more flexible, you have the house here, so you can come visit me and all that. It'll work. But . . ." His chest constricted again. "I'd love to say she'll still be here by the spring, so we'll have to come up with a more elaborate story then. But I don't know if she will. This could be a few months, or more than a few months. I don't know. I really don't. You still okay with that?"
"Yes. It's okay. I'm in for as long as you need me to be, Logan."
"Thank you." He gazed at her with wonder. "You're pretty awesome."
"Back at you." She smiled.
Something in his chest flared with warmth, a sweet blast of feeling. "I appreciate this. I really do. And hey, since it's not a real relationship, feel free to kick my ass anytime I do something you don't like."
"I'd do that even if we were in a real relationship." Her eyes sparkled with more mischief. "But now that I have your blessing? Game on, Carter."
He laughed. "Great. So, listen . . . You're out here all by yourself. I know what a strong woman you are. But during the, uh . . . process, you can lean on me. And on this thing, I'm your cheerleader. I want you to have your baby." He reached out and took her hand. "I know I bailed on you before. It won't happen again. I'm here for you, Tess, however you need me. You'll see."
Her mouth dropped a little, those pretty lips forming an O of surprise.
"You need a ride to or from the clinic, you want someone to go with you, you want someone to be here to hold your hand when you get home . . . I can do that." He rubbed his thumb along the top of her soft skin. "All you have to do is ask. Okay?"
"I'd really like that." Her voice dropped, was a little thick. Light pink dusted her cheeks. "That's . . . that's comforting to know. Thank you."
"You'll see that you can trust me again."
She shook her head. "You don't have to prove-"
"I want to." He cut her off firmly, leaving no room for debate. "So. Your appointment's at one? What time should I be here? We'll go together; I'll pick you up."