Now, sitting across from him in the dimly lit coffeehouse, with Christmas lights from above casting their glow over her and her long mane of dark curls framing her heart-shaped face, she looked both devastatingly alluring and easily approachable. He could see why everyone was taken with her. Smart, driven, friendly, drop-dead gorgeous . . . How the hell was she single? It confounded him.
Was she too busy to date in New York? Could be. Or more likely, he suspected, men were intimidated by her. Hell, even if she wasn't a successful businesswoman and society sweetheart, her towering beauty alone probably made lesser men quake. Curiosity burned in him now. How was Tess not taken? As it was, he had to admit he felt a tiny swell of masculine pride tonight at not just being out with a truly admirable woman, but also being with the most beautiful woman in the place. And Jesus, she really was. He couldn't take his eyes off her.
"You're zoning out," she said, making him jolt. "I must be boring you now. I'll stop talking about work."
"No, not at all!" Logan said, sitting up straighter. "I asked about your job because I really wanted to hear it from you. But I have a confession to make."
One of her thin brows arched, making her seem regal. "Go on."
"I looked you up online last night. Wanted to know more about you."
Her gaze held. "All right."
"That's not all. The other part is . . . these pictures came up of you at that big holiday ball you hosted a few weeks back." He let a slow grin slide as he recalled the photos. He'd been knocked flat by them.
". . . and?" she coaxed with an answering playful grin, waving her hand for him to continue.
"And I saw pictures of you in that fancy designer dress. Ruby red, sparkling to your toes, all done up . . ." He gazed at her as he said earnestly, "You were stunning. Absolutely breathtaking. Really."
Her smile went soft. "Well, thank you."
He tipped his chin in a respectful nod.
A moment of silence settled over them, but it wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be. He reached for his mug and stole a sip of cocoa, which was almost cold now. "I wasn't stalking you, mind. I just . . . You blew me away with what you did with Terrence. It made me want to know more about you. So yes, I looked, and I'm just fessing up."
She cocked her head to the side, assessing him. "You're telling me flat out you looked me up, so I think we can say it was an info dig, not stalking."
"Is that how it works? Oh good."
She giggled, the light sound sparking warmth in his chest. But then she said, "So, fair's fair. If I looked you up online, what would I find?"
His grin faded. "Not much. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't. I know that's not fair, since I just confessed to looking you up, but . . ." He shook his head, stroked his beard, and looked away.
"Logan . . . ?" She moved in closer. Their knees touched; both of them had such long legs, he was shocked it hadn't happened before, but now the slight touch had his nerves tingling. She looked at him from beneath her long lashes and said, "We all have pasts, Logan. If you dug up enough on me, you'd find things I don't want to talk about too."
"Your past's not like mine," he murmured. Shit, he'd opened himself up for this without seeing it coming. Might as well just tell her some of it. "Look, Tess . . . I started out okay, like anyone else, and then messed up pretty bad. I went through some serious shit, and I didn't handle it well." He scrubbed a hand over his face, then his beard. Just say it. Nothing to lose. "In my midtwenties, as a result, I ended up with a serious drinking problem. That's why I don't drink now. Not to be a saint, but because I'm a recovering alcoholic, Tess." He repressed the sigh. Well, there it was. Now she knew. He steeled himself for her withdrawal.
But she didn't even blink. "Okay. You got the help you needed?"
Hey now. No withdrawal, no look of horror. He nodded. "Yes. Took me hitting rock bottom, but I checked myself into rehab and cleaned myself up. Then I left New Orleans and moved back here."
"When was that?"
"Eleven years ago."
"Have you fallen off the wagon since then?"
"Not even once."
Her mouth curved up ever so slightly, and what he saw in her beautiful eyes was . . . whoa. Only compassion and respect. Her voice was gentle when she said, "Then I'd say that's nothing to be ashamed of, Logan. I'd say that's something to be admired."
He stared into her eyes for what felt like a long time. Most people didn't have that response when he told them that dark truth. They looked at him a little differently, whether they realized it or not. Yeah, people had come a long way with understanding alcoholism, especially after they found out what drove him to it . . . but not everyone. They regarded him with trepidation, or maybe judgmental disapproval, and once in a while, pity. His own brother was a self-righteous bastard about it, one of the reasons they'd grown apart. The only ones who'd been cool, who'd been flat out positive about how he'd turned his life around, were his mother and his closest friends. For Tess to be so unfazed, so nonjudgmental . . . he appreciated it more than he could say. Something like warmth stole over him.
Which was quickly followed by a flash of self-loathing. He'd been wrong about her or sold her short so many times now, it was embarrassing. Goddamn.
"I don't know about my being admirable," he finally said, "but I am honest. You've told me a lot about yourself tonight. If you're going to find stuff out about me, I'd rather just tell you myself than have you dig up ugly old shit on the Internet." He flashed a wry grin. "Okay, that's enough of that. We're supposed to be having a good time, remember? New Year's Eve and all that?"
A warm smile spread across her face. "I have been having a good time."
"Yeah? Good. Me too."
"Then let's get the spotlight off of you so you'll relax again," she said. "I liked that you were relaxed around me. Not so gruff and aloof."
"I'm-hey, wait a minute. I'm not gruff and aloof."
"Yeah, okay. And I'm not tall and brown-haired."
He smiled and shook his head in wonder. "You don't hold back, do you?"
"Not often, no."
"Upfront city girl."
"That's right, lumberjack." Her eyes twinkled as her playful smile dazzled him. "How about this: I'll tell you one of my truths, since it's somewhat related to one of yours." She took a deep breath and fidgeted with one of her silver hoop earrings. He watched and waited for her to go on, wondering what she'd say. "Remember I told you I'm not drinking these days either?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm no saint. I love a good glass of wine. I'm not drinking now because I've been cleansing my body. No drinking, cleaner eating . . . because I'm planning to get pregnant soon."
Chapter Seven
Logan felt his jaw drop in surprise. Pregnant? He stared and stammered, "Uh . . . okay. Wow. Not what I was expecting you to say." Then another thought hit. "Wait a minute. You have a boyfriend and you're out with me tonight? I don't understand."
She smiled with obvious bemusement. "I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a man in my life at all, actually, which is why I'm planning to . . . well . . . I'm going to do it on my own. Find a sperm donor, and all that entails. Get it now?"
He couldn't have been more shocked. She was the most desirable woman he'd ever seen, and getting to know her made her even more so. She was damned likeable, even when he was being an ass. Why would she feel she had to go that route? He was obviously missing something. But all he said was, "Okay."
"That's the real reason I came out here by myself for a few months." Tess seemed relieved to confess all this, so he stayed quiet and let her continue. "I don't want to start this process at home. My father and brothers . . . They all mean well, but they're a little . . . overbearing. We're very close, my brothers and I. I'd even say they're some of my best friends. But about this . . . Well, they'd all have something to say, and I don't need that."
Logan only nodded.
She stretched out one long leg and rolled her ankle as she continued. "This is my decision. They have wives, they have families . . . They'll start their whole you haven't given it enough of a chance, yada yada. Like I haven't given this tons of thought, done my homework. Like I just decided hey! I'll have a baby just because."