Betrayed 2(66)

At the end of the day, I could see that Tina was gearing up for a conversation with Lillian. I spied her in the bathroom giving herself a pep talk and slapping her face like she was about to go into battle.

I wasn’t wearing a wig and this color had come from a bottle. It was the first time that I had ever changed my natural hair color. I wore very little makeup, feeling naked without it, but finding that it was a necessity to hide in plain sight. I could tell that one person in the building had been keeping a watchful eye on me. Susan had that air of authority that made those around her walk on eggshells.

There were times that I thought that she was going out of her way to confront me, but she never said one word. She just kept looking, staring and most likely hoping that I was going to falter and show some kind of crack in my demeanor.

“I can’t believe that I’m even thinking about doing this. I’m going to take your advice and I’m going to offer to bring her into our little group. I don’t know what her response is going to be. I’m half expecting her to laugh in my face. I’ll try to make a good case for joining us. The best way to do that is to convince her that looking more human will lull these people into a false sense of security. If they are thinking about doing something, then they might feel more inclined. That way Susan can catch them before they escalate. I might even get a promotion. Wouldn’t that be a novel idea after five years of crawling and scraping in the sludge?” She was talking to me like I was her best friend. I wanted her to believe that and I don’t think that she really thought that I was a threat in any way.

I made myself look like a safe haven, a confidant and someone that would listen without judgment or condemnation. I did not have a vested interest and I made it perfectly clear that this was only a stopover before I moved on to greener pastures. I needed her to believe that her job was safe and that I had no designs on taking what was hers.

“I don’t want you to do it because I convinced you. I want you to do it because it’s the right thing to do. If you really want to play this political game, then you need to be upfront and personal. I don’t think that she believes that anybody will ever stand up to her. She has purposely encouraged an atmosphere of fear and intimidation. Miss Niles is that first and last line of defense. She shows no emotion. It’s almost like she’s this all-knowing entity that keeps everybody from doing something that they are going to regret.” We were sitting in a coffee café across the street a couple of doors down from the small and intimate bar that we congregated to at the end of the day.

“I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time. I need to make her see me as an equal and not some underling that she can pawn off the work that she doesn’t want to do. I’ve been bending over backward to please her ever since that I got here five years ago. I admire her and I want to be exactly like her. That might not seem like a lofty goal, but the power that she exudes comes off of her in waves.” This was a mid-afternoon break and the best way to get anybody talking was to remain silent.

It was hard for me to do that, especially when my alter ego Gillian was screaming at me to stop playing it fast and loose. I could easily ingratiate myself into all of their lives, but that would only raise red flags in the eyes of Susan. There was no way that I wanted to give her any incentive to look into me any deeper than a casual look at my file.

“It sounds to me like you have made up your mind. The one thing that is missing is the follow through. You can procrastinate, wait for the right time, but you’ll never know when that right time is going to be.” I was making it seem like it was her idea to approach her. I was subtle, not the same in your face salesperson that had guys eating out of the palm of her hand.

Shelly was a woman that didn’t stand too close to anyone. It was almost like she was afraid to live. I wanted to project a sense of defeatism. I could make people believe that this was only a stopover, but my attitude would confirm to Lillian and Susan that I was never going to give up something that was keeping food in my stomach and a roof over my head.

This was my classroom. This was a place where I was learning the ropes and finding how everything worked around here. It was easy to see that nobody wanted to shake the tree. I had to get somebody else to do my dirty work. I needed to get her out of the office, crack her computer and see if there was any incriminating evidence that we could use against her. It wasn’t necessarily for bringing her to justice. It was more of a way to exact her cooperation in leaving us alone.

I followed Tina back to the office and with each step, there was more conviction. I helped that along by whispering words of encouragement. I told her that she was strong enough to do this on her own. I told her that she had been here long enough. That they had worked closely together so that she was deserving of respect.