Betrayed 2(32)

The jarring impact of being pulled from my comfort zone wrenched my neck. I floated aimlessly over the city. I followed my 2-minute training lesson from Marshall to the letter. When my feet landed on the hard-packed earth, I just wanted to run back to the plane and do it all over again. My excitement for what was obviously a death-defying act surprised me.

I couldn’t help myself and I ran into his arms. I knocked him down with me on top of him. “I can’t believe that I haven’t done this before. I’ve let my fears hold me hostage and I’m not going to do that anymore. You’re going to see a new woman. I always thought that I was fearless, but this was something that I didn’t want to share with anybody.” My body was pressed up against him with his hands around my waist and my eyes alight with a fire that could only be extinguished one way.

The big hose between his legs was the only thing that I had on my mind. I could feel him quite engorged and ready to take this to whatever venue we might have found to express ourselves physically.

He moved my hair behind my ears. He grazed my cheek with his fingertips which was only compounding the issue. He touched me so delicately that it was like he was dealing with a fragile doll that would break with too much force.

“I know exactly what you’re feeling. Normally, I would take advantage of that. For some reason, I can’t do that with you. I won’t be able to look at myself in the mirror and respect myself in the morning. It’s not you. I’m fighting my natural instinct to kiss you with a passion that will cause you nothing but heartache. I want something different from this. I can’t play by the same rules when you have thrown the rule book out the window.” I could see that it was taking a lot for him to push me away.

I lie there looking up at him with his back towards me. He was obviously struggling and fighting the urge to be the man that I thought that he was. I would’ve taken one for the team just so that I could hold this over him and give him a reason to think that I was better than all the rest. I could seal the deal like I did with any transaction by using my sexuality. Getting him emotionally attached could only be accomplished by throwing caution to the wind. I tried to convince myself that I was only doing this as part of the job, but I knew deep down that there was more to it than that.

“You are a damn fool, but I think that it would be best not to take things too far. Just so you know; I would have done just about anything to please you. I don’t care what kind of act or depraved thought that you might have in your head. I would gladly strap on a pair of cuffs, put on a blindfold and let you ride me around the room like the pony express. You could put me into any position, treat me like I’m just a piece of ass and I would come back for more. Are you sure that you want to take this stand?” He looked over his shoulder and he shook his head like he couldn’t quite believe that he didn’t just grab the bull by the horns.

“It’s not fair and I’ve never felt this way before. I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep the entire time that I was waiting for you to call. I know that I’m in deep. I’ve put on a brave face, but I’m powerless against you. I could just have my way with you and be done with it. It’s a pattern that I have to break. I don’t know why this is so hard. It’s always been easy and those girls that have come before you were merely misadventures.”

My heart was pumping with my palms sweaty and my eyes as big as saucers. I had to find a way to get rid of this pent-up energy and he was doing everything he could to push me away. I had only one other card to play.

“Make sure that you are doing the right thing. This could be all yours.” I proved to him that I was naughty by unzipping that dive suit and showing that I was wearing very little underneath. This was not my average underwear. This was something that I had pulled out as my big guns. I saw the way that he seductively lusted after me. The bra that I was wearing was the peek-a-boo variety with a gloss of strawberry to make me more of a sumptuous feast. The panties were made of some sort of gelatin.

“You can’t do this to me and you don’t know what you’re asking.” His words only fueled me into taking a hold of those rip away panties and tearing very slowly with his eyes never leaving my body the entire time. He paid particular attention to the landing strip that I had left. I began to think about how I had prepared for this evening. I loved his reaction and wanted him to show me the good soldier at full attention.

I don’t know how he did it, but he turned away and walked back to the hangar. I got into a sitting position. I looked after him and I couldn’t believe that he had the fortitude to step away from a sure thing. It was then that I knew that I was in trouble. This was not the same man that those girls had sent me after. I had gotten caught in a trap of my own making. I had no idea what love felt like, but I didn’t want to be away from him. I could only think about the next time that I would see him. I was hurting bad and I couldn’t do what I normally did. I wanted to, but I felt that sleeping with another would be cheating.