Best Friends With the Billionaire(37)

Cassie’s heart thudded painfully against her ribs. All she could focus on was Kirk’s eyes, the gray-blue color intensifying as he stared at her, and she was sure he could read the longing in her face.

As if sensing he was winning her over, Kirk shifted closer. “There’s so much I want to tell you my head is bursting, but first and foremost I want you to know that I am yours, Cassie Cooper. Heart, body, soul, and whatever else, I belong to you. I’m flawed and weak and scared, but I’ll do whatever it takes to convince you.” He paused to gulp, his throat working, his hands clenched at his sides. “I love you, Cassie. It’s not enough to be your rebound guy. I want to be your forever guy.”

In the hushed silence that followed, all she could hear was the thundering of her heart. And then gradually she realized that the spike in her chest was anger. Anger directed at Kirk.

Raising her chin, she glared at him. “That’s a very pretty speech, Kirk, but after everything that’s happened between us, you can’t waltz in here and expect me to swoon in gratitude at your feet. You’ve hurt me enough times. Why should I give you another opportunity?”

Pure astonishment broke across his face. “But…I love you.”

“Oh, sure, and how long has that been eating you up? A day, tops. I’ve had it eating me up for years. Years. So don’t think for a moment that some schmaltzy public declaration is going to cut it.”

“But, sweetheart—”

“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me.” Chest heaving, she fisted her hands on her hips. The words tumbled from her lips, propelled by all the hurt and love boiling uncontrollably inside her. “You don’t have the right to call me sweetheart.”

His mouth fell open. His knuckles cricked as he opened and closed his fists. And then, a fire sparked in his eyes as he moved toward her, his footsteps heavy with determination.

“Then let me earn that right,” Kirk said.

The flaring resolve in his expression made her heart falter. She thought about retreating, but it was too late. He bent, wrapped his arms around her waist, and hoisted her up, heaving her over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift.

“Kirk!” She tried to shriek, but the air was knocked out of her by his shoulder.

“Sorry about this, folks.” Kirk addressed the guests. “But Cassie and I have some serious talking to do.” He started to march out of the reception room.

“Kirk…put…me…down…you…ass.” She banged on his back, but he didn’t pause a fraction. This was ridiculous! He couldn’t fling her over his shoulder and kidnap her like a caveman with so many witnesses looking on.

But it seemed he could, because no one tried to stop him. Not Russell, not her mom, not her sister. No one. She couldn’t believe it.

Kirk carried her out of the restaurant. She spluttered at him, she pummeled his back, she tried to kick him. But he wouldn’t stop. His arms tightened over the back of her thighs as he walked through the garden.

Squinting back at the restaurant, she spied people staring after them. Everyone appeared captivated by the drama. Even Russell was smirking, damn him.

She renewed her efforts to free herself from Kirk’s grip, twisting this way and that. Her hair was tangled in her eyes, and all the blood had rushed to her head, but she didn’t stop struggling.

She managed to connect the tip of her shoe with his knee, and he grunted. Kirk was muscular and well built, but she was six feet tall and not exactly built like a fairy. He had to be tiring.

In the middle of the garden, he finally set her down. He straightened up, groaning. “Phew! I take my hat off to firemen.”

Cassie stumbled back as she regained her footing. The front of her dress was damp from his wet shirt. She pushed her tumbled hair away from her eyes, breathing hard, her face feeling stuffy and red.

“What the hell, Kirk?” she bellowed and puffed at him. “What was that stunt for?”

He looked at her, the blaze in his eyes leaping as he reached for her. His arms wrapped around her, his hands locked behind her back, and then his mouth was on hers, hot and urgent yet somehow restrained, too. He kissed her with all the passion she’d come to expect from him, but there was something extra, a tenderness and softness that began to dissolve the sharpness in her stomach.

“Oh, Cassie.” His voice shook. He daisy-chained tiny kisses over her face as if trying to memorize her with his lips. “I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to get you away from everyone.” He drew back slightly, arms still around her. “Have I made things worse?”

She gulped, transfixed by the adoration in his face. “N-no, I think you might be moving in the right direction.”

He kissed her some more, his hands roaming gently over her body until she was light-headed from his caresses. “How ’bout now?” he murmured against her mouth. “Still good for you?”

“Keep going,” she whispered, bewitched by the magic of his mouth. “I’ll tap you on the shoulder when you stray out of line.”

Time and the whole world slowed as they kissed, hands and lips communicating what words couldn’t describe. Eventually Kirk lifted his head and sighed, his face glowing.

“Can we talk now, please?”

“Do we have to?” She didn’t want to spoil this moment of bliss that she’d treasure forever.

“I need to.” Curling his hand around hers, he led her to a quaint, old-fashioned gazebo under the spreading branches of an oak tree. He sat beside her on the wooden bench inside and folded his arms around her, holding her like he’d never let go.

She waited for him to speak, trepidation lurking beneath the surface.

“I want to talk about Alison,” Kirk said, his tone dead serious.

Instantly her heart shied away. “You don’t have to,” she said. “I know you—”

“No, you don’t know the truth,” he said quickly. “Within six months of marrying her, I was ready to leave. I thought I was in love with her, but I’d been infatuated with her looks and charm. Alison was vain, shallow, often mean. She didn’t want a divorce; she talked me into giving it another go, and then she used an unplanned pregnancy to manipulate me into sticking around. After the miscarriage, she was in a bad state, so of course I couldn’t leave her.” A deep furrow lined Kirk’s brow as he spoke, the strain evident in his voice.

“Just when I was thinking of bringing up divorce again, she was diagnosed with cancer. There was no way I’d desert her then. She suffered so much, but strangely the illness made her a better person. We didn’t love each other, but we became friends, and when she died, I genuinely missed her and mourned her.”

Too stunned to speak, Cassie squeezed his arm, her heart going out to him and to Alison.

Kirk turned to Cassie, consternation deepening the lines on his face. “Now I have to come to the part that rips me up inside every time I think about it.” He took her hand, his touch uncertain. “The night you came to me and comforted me…” He gulped in a quick breath. “Cassie, I—I have no excuses for what I did to you, except maybe that I was exhausted, and I’d taken a couple of sleeping pills, and your presence put me so at ease that I managed to sleep for the first time in days. I don’t know why I muttered Alison’s name. I don’t remember that at all. Maybe I was relieved she was finally at peace, maybe I was guilty I didn’t love her. But whatever I said, I knew I wasn’t kissing her because the feeling I got from that kiss was nothing I’d ever experienced with her. That feeling has always lingered in my memory, and the only woman I’ve ever experienced it with is you. You rescued me that night, Cassie, and in return I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

The anguish in his voice made her want to cry. Kirk had suffered so much disappointment and heartache and loss, yet he’d kept all that pain to himself. She cupped his face in her hands, desperate to comfort him.

“You don’t need to forgive yourself. It’s in the past.” She brushed her thumbs over his prickly jaw as the rest of what he’d said sunk in. “The other day I overheard you talking to Lex. You said ‘There’s no comparison. Cassie is nothing like Alison.’”

Kirk flinched in dismay. “You heard that? And you thought I meant that you were inferior? Oh damn, I can’t believe I hurt you again. You know I meant the exact opposite.”

The hurt she’d harbored for so long slowly dissolved. “I do now, but for years I was convinced Alison was your one true love. When you married, I moved to Australia to get over you.”

Kirk started. “You did? And is that why we seemed to drift apart? You did that on purpose?”

“I had to get on with my life.” She rested her forehead against his and breathed in his scent. He smelled of deodorant and mint, with a hint of whiskey. “But Kirk, why didn’t you tell me about you and Alison? Every time I tried to broach the subject, you clammed up. I thought you were too heartbroken to talk about her.”

Sighing, he threaded his fingers through her hair. “Alison hated the thought of others knowing we were on the brink of divorce, so she made me promise not to tell anyone, even after her death. And I agreed because I didn’t want to talk about it, either. After Alison, I didn’t believe in love anymore. I was through with romantic relationships. Friendship was far more lasting and authentic. But then you came back and blew me away with those kisses. I wanted you so badly, but I was terrified of losing your friendship.”