She twisted her head away from him and sighed. “It’s a long story.”
“Let me guess. You’re trying to make that Kirk dude jealous.”
“I’m not!” Cassie gasped, then gave him a rueful smile. “Well, okay, that might have something to do with it.”
“That has everything to do with it, judging by the way you were acting in front of him. I’ve never seen you so antsy.”
“I was afraid you’d blow my story sky high. I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of him.”
Russell patted her hand lying in the crook of his arm. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I am an ex-boyfriend, so I might as well be yours.”
“Thanks. I knew you wouldn’t mind.”
“Is it working, then? Have you got anywhere with him?”
“Uh, well…” Her cheeks warmed as she recalled all the scorching hot sex she’d had with Kirk in the past few days. “I’m, um, making progress.”
Russell nudged her with his elbow. “Huh, so he’s good in bed, is he?”
She grew even warmer. “Yeah, he’s fantastic.” She sighed.
“Mm, thought as much. Wouldn’t mind sharing his bed myself.”
“Russell!” She glared at him in outrage.
He wiggled his eyebrows in mock innocence. “What? I saw him, and he’s hot.”
“He doesn’t bat for your team.”
“I’m only teasing you, sweets. Besides, I picked up some serious ‘back off from my woman’ vibes from him. I think he might be into you in a big way.”
“You think?” She couldn’t suppress hope flickering up.
He came to a halt and looked at her. “You’re really serious about him, aren’t you?”
Cassie hesitated, reluctant to speak the truth out loud for fear of jinxing herself. She’d never told anyone how she really felt about Kirk, and even though Russell would never blab, still she didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t know where she stood with Kirk. Their friends-with-benefits relationship couldn’t last forever, yet the possibility that she might come to mean more to him seemed as remote as ever. She loved how he cared for her—going to her mom’s dinner, protecting her from strangers in bars, spoiling her with surprise trips—how he treated her as an equal, how his eyes heated as he made love to her. This past week with Kirk had shown her what could be possible and left her yearning for something more, something real and permanent. But her dream was so fragile. Uttering it aloud would only make her more vulnerable.
“Oh, I don’t know.” She made a show of brushing her hands. “I’m just having fun while I’m here. Making hay while the sun shines.”
“So how do you want me to play it from here? Will I try to woo you back? I think I’d be good at that.”
Cassie shook her head doubtfully. “I’m not sure if I can keep up the deception in front of Kirk. Wouldn’t it be better if I told him I’d sent you away and told you never to come back?”
“But then he wouldn’t be jealous of me anymore. And besides, I want to see you while I’m here. You can tell him you’re being kind to me, letting me down gently, that’s why we have to meet now and again.”
She owed him for going along with her story in front of Kirk. And he’d recently been dumped by his no-good boyfriend, so he needed her support.
“Fine.” She nodded. “We’ll do that. How long are you in San Francisco?”
“Only a week. I have a few old friends to look up, so you don’t have to worry about me being on my lonesome. I’ll give you a call tomorrow or the day after, and we can meet up somewhere.”
They turned and began to retrace their steps. Cassie’s stomach started to knot again as she wondered what would happen when she returned to Kirk’s house.
…
Cassie’s sneakers squeaked on the floorboards as she entered the house, sounding unnaturally shrill in the silence. She paused, trying to regulate her breathing, wishing she could wander in with her usual casualness. Where was Kirk? She and Russell had been out for about forty minutes. Could Kirk have gone out by himself?
She grimaced before a slight clicking noise from Kirk’s study down the hall caught her attention. She peeked through the half-open door, and her heart jumped a little when she saw Kirk sitting at his desk and frowning at the computer monitor in front of him.
“Uh, hi,” she said, feeling gauche.
“You’re back,” he stated in a matter-of-fact way that didn’t give an inkling what he thought.
Kirk had showered and changed. His thick, short hair gleamed like sable fur, dark stubble peppered his jaw, and a red checked shirt hugged his shoulders, the rolled up sleeves revealing his muscular forearms. His rugged cleanliness made her even more aware of her sweaty, disheveled, sun-touched appearance. Her confidence shrank like a crab retreating into its shell.
“You’re working.” She backed away a few steps. “Sorry for disturbing you—”
“Wait.”
As Kirk rose to his feet, she caught a whiff of soap from him. The same lemony soap he’d used to lather her up in the shower yesterday. Longing stung her, sharper than she expected.
Kirk rested his hands on hips, his expression ever so slightly forbidding. “Aren’t you going to fill me in on Russell?”
They were supposed to be friends, equals, but right now she felt anything but equal to Kirk. There was something hard and impenetrable about him that made her flinch inside.
She clasped her hands together, feeling the first stirrings of stage fright. Could she pull this off? “We had a talk. I didn’t realize he was that, um, hurt by our break up. He isn’t one to show his emotions usually.”
“So he flew all the way here to ask you for a second chance?”
The note in his voice sparked a little rancor in her. “Yes.” She lifted her chin. “Is that so difficult to imagine?”
The V between his eyebrows deepened. “Are you going to give him a second chance?”
She hesitated, wishing she could see past his barriers, longing for a hint of possessiveness from him.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“Me? Didn’t realize I had a say in this.”
Her heart sank. Kirk wasn’t about to put his foot down and declare that Russell could go to hell because she was his. The heart-stopping kisses, the passionate embraces, the exhilarating sex—none of that had changed his mind. She was still good ol’ Cassie, a great friend with some nice benefits, but no one special enough to make him want to stake a claim.
“Of course you have a say.” She wasn’t going to let him see how much he was hurting her. “I’m counting on you for some sage advice.”
He scratched his jaw, for the first time seeming slightly uncertain. “I’m no expert in these things. I don’t want you taking my advice and later regretting it.”
“Well, what do you think of Russell?” she persisted.
“He seems…okay.” He rubbed his chin harder, scraping his bristles loudly. “He doesn’t look anything like Wolverine, though.”
Ooh. Was that a tinge of jealousy? She blinked her eyelashes at Kirk. “No? He’s still pretty good-looking, you have to admit.”
Kirk pressed his lips together. “I don’t take notice of how good-looking a guy is,” he said with a touch of derision. “And since when do you judge a man by the way he looks?”
“Oh, I agree it’s not everything. Russell has a lot more going for him than just his looks. He’s smart and funny and generous.”
“Remind me again why you broke up with him?”
“Because…” Her heart tightened. “Because I’m not sure I’m in love with him.”
Kirk gave her a long, penetrating look. “So now he’s flown all the way here and practically gone down on bended knee, does that make a difference?”
“Well, it is a grand gesture. I never expected something like that.”
Lines bracketed Kirk’s thinned mouth. “Are you moving into his hotel room?” he bit out.
Her breathing hitched. Kirk didn’t seem all that happy about Russell turning up, but he wasn’t doing much to discourage a reconciliation. If only he would say something to make her believe he wanted her to stay here with him.
“’Course not. I haven’t decided anything about him yet.”
The lines around his mouth softened a fraction. “Okay. Don’t do anything hasty.”
“You don’t mind me staying on here, do you?”
“Not at all. Stay as long as you want.”
It wasn’t much, but it was something. Something to hold onto while she navigated this tricky minefield.
“Thanks.” She swallowed. “I’m really grateful, Kirk. I don’t want to make the wrong decisions.”
He folded his arms across his chest, his expression tensing, and he seemed a lot more than three inches taller than her.
“You do realize we can’t sleep together while Russell is in town.”
Her mouth fell open as her face burned. “Uh…”
“It would only confuse the issue.”
He was so matter-of-fact, damn him. “Yeah…”
“Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but”—he lifted a shoulder—“it’s better we stop now.”