Bent, Not Broken(39)
Two weeks later
The wind was chilly as the sun lowered behind the horizon, and Joker had never felt happier than he did right now. He was on his bike, riding free, with his woman behind him and holding on tight. He was doing something that he’d wanted to do for a long fucking time, but had never had the balls to follow through with. But because Amy was on the road to becoming healed, he knew this was the right step. She was doing so damn well, and he couldn’t be happier. The deeper they went into the woods, and they higher they ascended the mountain, the more the temperature dropped and the trees became thicker all around them. He wasn’t much of a nature person, didn’t give a fuck if he was surrounded by pavement or covered by trees. But for what he wanted to do he sought privacy, seclusion, and needed nothing artificial surrounding them.
He had his old lady on the back of his bike, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and her head resting on his back. He was in fucking heaven right now, and couldn’t have asked for a more perfect outcome to some shitty situations in his life. There was nothing better than this feeling of freedom with the woman that he loved and knowing that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But his nerves were already getting the best of him and twisting his gut uncomfortably; it was not something he was comfortable or used to.
Another twenty minutes driving up the mountain and Joker finally pulled to a stop in front of a clearing. The trees surrounded them, a creek ran parallel to the small dirt road, and there wasn’t a soul in sight. It was perfect, absolutely-fucking-perfect. He cut the engine and climbed off then helped Amy off the bike, too. For a second he kept his hands on her waist and stared down at her, loving that this woman was his. He’d sampled her, couldn’t get enough of her, and he knew he’d have the rest of his life to spend with her. It took a strong woman to be with a man like him, a member of an outlaw biker club that killed when the time called for it, dealt out violence, and did shady shit. But his Amy was strong as hell, and he loved her even more for it.
Did she knew what he was about to do, that he had this ring sitting in the inner pocket of his cut and was nervous as fuck? Shit, he hadn’t felt this unsure about anything in his life, but he supposed even the toughest motherfuckers felt skittish when they were about to pop the big question. He grabbed a blanket from one of his saddlebags and led her to the center of the clearing. There was a break in the trees and they could see the city below, the lights starting to brighten as dusk fell over the sky. He laid out a blanket and gestured for her to sit down.
“You look nervous, Joker, and that makes me nervous.” She smiled, but he could see that it was a little forced.
Fuck, his hands were even shaking, and he hated the fact that this one thing could make him feel so off kilter. “Dammit.” He sat down beside her.
“Joker, is everything okay?” she asked, twisting her hands together. She touched his shoulder, and he could see that this was worrying her. He felt like an asshole for not keeping his shit together.
“Everything’s okay, baby.” He turned and faced her, and before he lost his nerve, he reached inside his cut and pulled out the small velvet box. She looked down at it, and her eyes widened. “I meant to say all this sweet and endearing shit, tell you how important you are to me, that I love you more than anything else, because Amy, all of that is true.” He ran his free hand over his hair and exhaled roughly, needing to say this because he wanted her to know she was his world. “I feel out of my element here and have never felt so nervous in my fucking life.” He chuckled, hoping to ease some of the tension. He hadn’t been good with all the sweet, sappy shit, never had. Hell, he’d never made a woman his like this. It seemed that he was at a loss for those sweet as fuck words that would tell his woman he loved her more than anything else.
“You’re my old lady, and that means a lot, but I want you as my wife, too, Amy.”
“Oh God, Joker,” she breathed out. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the box he had yet to open.
He popped the lid.
“Oh God,” she said again. “It’s gorgeous.”
He took the ring out, snagged her left hand, and slid the platinum band with the big circular diamond in the center on her ring finger. “Look at me, baby girl.”
She lifted her gaze so she was looking at him, and he heard her swallow. Now he swallowed and tried to calm the nerves inside him. He had beaten the shit out of grown men, killed anyone that hurt those he loved, and did illegal shit, but asking his woman to marry him made him feel like a vulnerable bitch. “I love you; I have loved you for a long time. I don’t care that we are considered step-siblings. I don’t care that my past and yours hasn’t been a fairytale. I want you, and I know you want me. I want all of you, Amy, and I am offering my life for you, because that’s what you mean to me… life.”