“Thank you, Gregory.”
She was happy. Joker was finally in her life and for the first time ever, she felt safe.
“Would you like me to call you Joker or Reese?” Gregory asked, and Amy glanced at Joker, feeling all kinds of nervous at this appointment. When she’d asked Joker to come with her to a therapy session, she didn’t know if he’d actually agree, although she’d hoped he would. But he had been so willing, especially when she told him she thought it would be good for them to get everything out. Although she was comfortable with where their lives were, and with where hers was going, she wanted to make sure she truly was healing. Amy wanted to know that Joker understood she might be okay on the outside, but there were times that she would struggle with her demons on the inside.
“I go by Joker.”
“Okay, then that’s how I’ll address you,” Gregory stated, and wrote something down in his notepad.
She stared at Joker, knowing he had to be semi-uncomfortable in this situation. She knew she had been her first appointment.
“Did Amy tell you why I asked you to attend a session?”
Joker nodded. “She thinks that I should come because of what she went through, and that you want me to understand how fragile she is.” She was surprised by his answer because she hadn’t been in-depth with him like that. But Joker was so smart and insightful, and nothing got by him.
“I wanted you here because I know you are aware of the past abuse she suffered at her father’s hands.” She noticed the way Joker curled his hands into fists.
“Yeah, I know all about that asshole, but he won’t be hurting Amy ever again.”
Gregory didn’t speak for a moment, just stared at Joker, and she worried that he’d pick up on the unsaid statement. Yeah, her man had done something horrible, so violent that it should have frightened her. She would never tell anyone that Joker had killed her father. He’d done it to protect her, to save her from her nightmares, and she loved him even more for that.
“I’d ask what you mean by that, or how you could guarantee that, but I don’t think you’d tell me, would you?”
Joker didn’t respond, just leaned forward and braced his elbows on his thighs. “You know the answer to that, Doc. But I want you to know that I would never hurt Amy. She’s my life, the woman I love, and I’d do anything to make sure she’s healed and whole. She knows what she means to me; that’s why I agreed to come here today. I want her to know that I support her all the way.”
Gregory nodded, made a low noise, as if agreeing with what Joker said, and jotted something down.
For the next forty-five minutes they talked about everything Amy had gone through, her progress, and Gregory let Amy and Joker speak together. It was a little awkward and embarrassing to have such a personal conversation with Joker in front of someone else even though she knew she had nothing to be embarrassed about. Maybe it was admitting all of this to Joker and Gregory, or maybe it was admitting it to herself?
The first step to healing was healing within; she knew that from her therapy and living her life. If she could accept that life sometimes wasn’t picturesque, even if it seemed like it, then she knew she’d be able to accept anything that was thrown her way.
They left Gregory’s office after their hour session was up. They stood by the bank of elevators, neither speaking, with this weird vibe surrounding them. She looked at him, knew he was tense and uncomfortable, but he looked relaxed. Maybe she was the only one feeling that way? The elevators opened before she could say anything, Joker had his hand in hers and he pulled her into the elevator.
He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, and with his other hand, pulled her closer, holding onto her as if his life depended on it. He used his body to press her even more firmly against the wall of the elevator. Amy was suffocating, but in the good way, in the kind of way that stole her breath and made her realize that life was precious.
Taking hold of the short hair at the base of his skull, she tugged lightly on the locks, trying to get him closer. She wanted to be ingrained in this man, let him take everything away so all she ever thought about was being with him. She pulled away, kept her eyes closed, and rested her forehead on his chest. “I love you so much, Joker.”
He stroked her back with his hand, and she heard him inhale deeply right by her ear. “And I fucking love you, baby.”
Leave it to her man to say it like it was.
“This is all real?” she murmured.
“I sure as hell hope so, Amy.” He pulled back, cupped her face, and leaned down to kiss her. “I know this seems so damn crazy, but this is so right.” He smiled at her, and she felt her heart rate pick up. “I am not going anywhere, and I won’t let you run. You’re stuck with me, baby girl, and that’s a damn fact.” He placed a hand on her chest, right over her heart. “Nothing else matters aside from what we feel in here, and baby, you own my heart.”