“Open for me,” he muttered the words against her lips.
She opened her mouth, and he took full advantage, plundering his tongue within. Moaning, she fisted her hands at her sides, not sure what to do with them. Her body was awakening under his touch.
He groaned. His free hand gripped her ass, drawing her close to him.
“I’ve tried to be good around you. I’ve tried to be the big brother, but I can’t stop these feelings. You’re like a drug, Amy. A dangerous drug. Touch me, angel. Please, I need your hands on me.”
Opening her hands out flat, she placed them on his chest.
The pleasured sounds coming from him increased and he spun her around, moving her back toward the bed. Reese had her wrists tightly clasped in his hand, holding them to his chest, and keeping her immobile. She felt safe with Reese, felt that he would be the only one that could bring her back from the brink of madness and self-destruction. He’d never hurt her, she knew that, but she also knew that she wasn’t normal and could never give him what he wanted.
Everything faded into the background as the past merged with the present. When Amy opened her eyes, it wasn’t Reese she saw but her father. Panic, fear, disgust, and shame rushed over her and she couldn’t stop the scream that bubbled up.
Pulling at her arms, she fought him, refusing to do what he wanted. It was too much for her.
“Please, stop. Please, stop. I’ll be good. I’ve always been so good.”
She begged and pleaded with the ghost that had stolen her childhood, her innocence. He wasn’t a ghost. Her father was out there, living his life.
Fighting, Amy did everything she could to get away.
“Let me go.”
“Amy!”
Her name was shouted, but it wasn’t her father who said it, it was Reese.
Opening her eyes, she found Reese holding her tightly in his arms. He wasn’t forcing her to submit to him. Reese held her tightly in the cocoon of his arms. His heat and warmth surrounded her with love and care.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll always protect you. I’m sorry I lost control.”
The tears that blurred her vision finally fell, sliding out of her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto his arms.
Nothing was ever going to be the same for her. She loved Reese with all of her heart and soul. His passionate kiss would stay with her forever as would his touch, but her demons would overshadow everything.
There was no way she’d ever be able to live her life to the fullest. She was broken from the inside out. There was no future for her. Amy knew she’d be doomed to live her life in misery.
Holding her demons close in Reese’s arms, she fell asleep to troubled dreams. When she woke up the following morning, she discovered from her mother that Reese had gone.
He’d not even said goodbye to her.
Five years later
Amy was lost in thought, her mind replaying the images of her mother lying in that casket, her lifeless body so cold and ashen. God, she was going to cry right here at work, in front of everyone, because she couldn’t control her emotions all these months later. Leaning back in her chair, she stared at the other members of her team that worked in the office with her. At twenty-one she had her own life, a good job she had landed right out of college, a home of her own, and a step-father that she thought of as her dad. And then those thoughts led to ones of her piece of shit father, the one that had done so much damage to her that she couldn’t even function sometimes all these years later.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Amy glanced up from her keyboard and stared at Michael, one of her co-workers at Frances and Son’s, a realty firm. He had a stack of papers in his hand, a concerned look on his face, and she felt like a fool for not being able to control herself and her emotions.
“I’m fine, thanks.” She smiled, but it was totally forced. He nodded once and went back to work. She stared at her computer, started working again on entering data, and told herself that she needed to move on from this. The years of therapy she’d undergone had helped somewhat, but the darkness she had inside of her would never really go away. She’d need to find her own path, find a light that would have everything illuminated so she was afraid of it anymore. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on something other than the shit that always brought her down.
That, of course, was easier said than done.
“Tell me how you’re feeling today, Amy.”
She stared at her therapist, a man who had been helping her for the past three years. She started seeing Gregory when the nightmares had become too much for her. The night sweats, crying out in the middle of the night, and the overall stress that from holding her emotions in had burst forth. The therapy sessions helped to a point, but now that her mother was gone, she was slipping back into this darkness that she hated.