Beneath the Surface(36)

Had she been engrossed in work so badly she had ignored her own partner, who was now drinking in secret? Which might not be a big deal for anyone else, but for Sheryl it was. No matter how lightly she brushed it off. It was a big deal. Because Kristin knew it wasn’t just conviction and trauma that had been keeping Sheryl from hitting the bottle. It was fear most of all. Fear that she was more like her father than she wanted to be. Fear that she might see the dark side of him in herself when she looked in the mirror. Or worse, her mother’s.

And yes, perhaps the solution to this problem was simple and Kristin should just take a step back at work. She was only forty. She had time to climb the ladder. Only, that went against every belief she’d ever held. Because Kristin worked harder than anyone else for a very good reason: she had no other choice. It was ingrained in her DNA. She didn’t tolerate spelling mistakes in sales reports the way some of her colleagues did. She double-checked every single number she put into a spreadsheet. And it might take up more of her valuable time, but mistakes were simply not permitted.

She firmly believed that her attention to detail and her intolerance for mistakes had landed her that promotion. And now she would have to give it up? In what world was that fair? Because it didn’t only mean her not doing the job anymore, but someone else, someone lesser, doing it.

Kristin rounded the corner again. She’d just been going around the block over and over. Every time she passed their front door, another opportunity presented itself to make up, to do the right thing. The only right thing there was to be done. Sure, she and Sheryl had had their problems over the course of their decade together, but they’d always, so easily, found a way out, and ended up the stronger for it. This felt different. Perhaps because it was so hard for Kristin to back down on this. But in the end, she always came back to that image of Sheryl and the wine. And their relationship. Their great, great love. Kristin started to realize that the reason she hadn’t told Sheryl about Hong Kong straight away wasn’t only because she was afraid of Sheryl’s reaction. She had been afraid of what it would do to their relationship as well. She didn’t even have to think about that anymore, because she had never really entertained it as a possibility. She imagined coming home from work every day in Hong Kong and finding Sheryl on the sofa with an empty bottle of wine. She’d give up a lot more to keep that from happening.

She’d have to talk with her boss, demand to be given another position in the company equal to the one she had now. After all, one of the main reasons Sterling Wines had thrived so much was because she worked there. Because she went to marketing seminars during weekends and on her own dime. Because she suggested they invest more in Asia. Because Kristin had only ever worked at one company in her life and she knew every single detail she was allowed to know—and a few she hierarchically didn’t have access to.

She walked past their front door and went for another go around the block. She suddenly thought of the leaflet on time management her colleague Ted had left on her desk a few weeks ago. Kristin had cast a furtive glance at it and thrown it in the trash immediately. Who had time for nonsense like that? She was a perfectionist, but she still got things done quicker than most. She had the elusive quality of being able to combine speed with thoroughness. And she was paid handsomely to do it. She wouldn’t take a pay cut. She couldn’t. That would somehow feel like cutting into her own flesh. Not that money was what drove her most, but it was the number that most accurately reflected her work ethic.

Kristin approached the door again. She stopped and unlocked it.



“I’m worried about your drinking,” Kristin said as soon as she walked in the door. Sheryl had retreated back inside. She’d poured the remainder of the bottle of wine away, assuaging some of her guilt as she watched it spill into the drain. She sat waiting for Kristin again, the way she would have done either way, even if Kirstin hadn’t come home early to surprise her. And what a surprise it had been.

“I’m worried about it too,” Sheryl admitted, out loud for the first time. “And I’m worried about us. The two might be related.”

“We’re not going to Hong Kong. I’ll inform Nigel tomorrow. It was a ludicrous idea in the first place.”

“It wasn’t ludicrous, just not very realistic. It might have shortened your business travel times, but it wouldn’t have changed anything for us. Besides, you wouldn’t be able to see your parents every weekend. You’d be devastated.”

“You mean they would be devastated.”