‘I didn’t know how things stood.’ I may as well be honest.
‘What does that mean?’ he asks skeptically.
He sounds offended. Has he forgotten about our little exchange of words last Sunday? ‘Jesse, the last time I saw you, you were a stranger who told me that I was a prick tease and had caused you untold damage. Forgive me for being a bit apprehensive.’
His affronted look falls away instantly and is replaced with one of regret. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.’
‘Right,’ I sigh.
‘Come here.’ He pats the mattress and I walk over to slide in beside him. We lay on our sides facing each other, our heads resting on our bent forearms. ‘You’ll never see that man again.’
I hope I don’t, but I’m doubtful of his confidence. One drink and I could be faced with the menacing brute, who I really don’t like very much. ‘Will you never drink again?’ I ask nervously. Now is as good a time as any to get the information I need.
‘No.’ He places his fingertip on my hipbone and circles lightly.
I shiver. ‘Never?’
He pauses mid-circle. ‘Never, Ava. All I need is you and for you to need me. Nothing else.’
I frown. ‘You already made me need you, and then you destroyed me.’ I say quietly. I don’t mean to make him feel guilty, but it’s the truth. I can feel myself falling into the needing realms again, after just one love making session, and I really didn’t want to go there.
He inches closer to me so our noses are nearly touching and his hot, minty breath is spreading all over my face. ‘I will never hurt you.’
‘You said that before.’ I remind him. Yes, he said he wouldn’t hurt me intentionally last time, which was a justified cause for concern, but he still said it.
‘Ava, the thought of you in pain, emotionally or physically, is appalling to me. Completely unspeakable. I feel crazy just thinking about it. What I’ve done to you makes me want to plunge a knife straight through my own heart.’
‘That’s a bit over-the-top, isn’t it?’ I blurt, completely shocked.
He scowls at me. ‘It’s the truth, just like I feel violent when I imagine another man lusting after you.’ He shakes his head, as if shaking away images that are cropping up in his mind. ‘I can’t tell you how serious I am.’
Oh my God. He is completely serious. His face is straight, his jaw clenched. That’s absolutely unreasonable. ‘You can’t control everything.’ I say on a furrowed brow.
‘Where you’re concerned, I’ll try my best, Ava. I already told you, I’ve waited too long for you. You’re my little piece of heaven. Nothing will rob you from me. Nothing.’ He presses his lips to mine to seal his declaration. ‘As long as I have you, I have purpose and reason. That is why I won’t be drinking and that is why I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Understand?’
Actually, I don’t think I do, but I nod anyway. His determination and grit is commendable but ridiculously ambitious. What does he think will happen to me? I can’t be stitched to his hip permanently. Crazy man.
I reach forward to brush my thumb over the jagged line of his scar. ‘How did you get this?’ I try my luck. I know he won’t answer me, and I know it’s a sore subject, but I’m compelled to extract as much information as I can. I now know the worst of him so what harm can it do?
He looks down at my hand on his scar and sighs. ‘Inquisitive this morning, aren’t you?’
‘Yes,’ I confirm. I am.
‘I already told you, I don’t like talking about it.’
‘You’re holding back on me.’ I accuse, and he rolls onto his back on a heavy sigh and rests his forearm across his face. Oh no, he’s not evading this. I straddle his hips and pull his arm away. ‘Why won’t you tell me about your scar?’
‘Because, Ava, it’s in my past where I want it to stay. I don’t want anything affecting my future.’
‘It won’t. It’s doesn’t matter what you tell me. I’ll still love you.’ Does he not understand that?
I frown when he smirks. ‘I know.’ he says too confidently. He’s pretty cock sure of himself this morning. ‘You already told me that when you were legless.’ he adds.
I did? I don’t remember that either. I told him a lot when I was drunk. ‘So why won’t you tell me?’
He places his hands on the juncture of my thighs. ‘If it won’t change how you feel about me, then there is little point in tarnishing your pretty little head with it,’ He raises his eyebrows, ‘Is there?’
‘I’m not going to tell you anything if you ask me.’ I sulk.
‘You already said that.’ He sits up and seals our lips, my arms mechanically wrapping around him, but then I think of something else.
‘Did you ever find out how the gates came to be open and the front door too?’ I try my hardest to sound casual.
‘What?’ he pulls away from me, looking perplexed.
‘When I came to The Manor on Sunday, the gates opened without me pressing the intercom and the front door was ajar.’ I know it was her.
‘Oh. The gates malfunctioned, apparently. Sarah had it sorted out.’ He pushes his lips to mine again.
‘That’s very convenient. Did the manual front door malfunction too?’ I ask, my sarcasm potent. I bet she had it sorted, and I can’t believe he bought that feeble explanation. I know what happened. The tramp intercepted my message, relishing the thought of me turning up unannounced and discovering The Manor’s offerings.
‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, lady.’ He gives me a very scornful look, but I don’t care. That woman is a deceitful tramp. Oh, I feel full of determination all of a sudden, but slightly sympathetic for Jesse. He actually thinks she’s a friend? Should I share my verdict? ‘What would you like to do today?’ he asks.
Oh shit! I’ve got to see Dan today and I can’t take Jesse with me. What would that look like? I can hardly introduce Jesse to Dan. That’s a disaster waiting to happen, what with Dan’s older brother protectiveness and Jesse’s trampling tendencies. How am I going to play this?
‘Well, there’s just one thing I have...’ Jesse’s phone starts ringing, halting my announcement.
‘For fuck sake,’ he curses, lifting me from his lap and placing me on the bed. He gets up and answers his phone before walking out of the bedroom. ‘John?’ He sounds a little impatient.
I lay on the bed, running through all of the ways I can break it to him that I really must go and meet Dan. He’ll understand.
‘I’ve got to go to The Manor.’ he says sharply, stalking back into the room and heading for the bathroom.
Again? I haven’t even asked him what dragged him there last night, and I notice Kate hasn’t called me back. ‘Is everything okay?’ I ask. He looks pissed.
‘It will be, get ready.’
What?
Oh no! I am not going to that place! I’ve still got to wrap my head around it all. He can’t make me go.
I hear the shower turn on and I jump up to go and explain my reluctance, walking into the bathroom and finding him in the shower already. He smiles knowingly and gestures for me to join him. I walk in and grab the sponge and shower gel, but he takes them from me and loads up the sponge himself before turning me around and beginning to wash me down. I stand quietly, searching my brain for a way to approach this, as he works the sponge slowly across my body. Surely he won’t have a hissy fit over my unwillingness.
‘Jesse?’
He kisses my shoulder blade. ‘Ava?’
‘I really don’t want to come.’ I blurt, and then scold myself for not being a little more tactful.
He pauses with his swirling circles for a few moments before he continues. ‘Can I ask why?’
He can’t be so thick-skinned he has to ask that question. It should be perfectly obvious why I don’t want to go. And anyway, I never really wanted to go before I knew what went on there, but that was because of a certain acid tongued, pouty lipped beast. Now, she doesn’t bother me so much, although we still haven’t discussed her little involvement in Jesse’s life. It’s yet another subject up for discussion.
‘Can you just give me some time to get used to it?’ I ask apprehensively, while mentally begging for him to understand and be reasonable.
He sighs and wraps his forearm around the tops of my shoulders, pulling me back to him. ‘I understand,’
He does?
He kisses my temple. ‘You’re not going to avoid it forever, are you? I still want my new bedroom designs.’
I’m in shock at his reasonableness. No questions, no trampling or sense fuck – just an okay? Have we turned a corner? This is good, and as for the new extension? I hadn’t given it a thought, but he’s right. I can’t avoid the place forever. ‘No. Anyway, I’ll have to come to oversee the works once we finalise the designs.’
‘Good,’
‘What’s going on at The Manor?’
He releases my shoulders and starts washing my hair with his men’s shampoo. ‘The police turned up last night.’ he says, totally detached.