The man truly could read my mind. He gently pushed my hair behind my ear and lifted my chin to force me to look him in the eyes. “No one has ever made me feel like you do Syd. There is no comparison, so get that shit out of your mind. Now.”
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Know what I’m thinking all the time.”
“It’s important to me, so I pay attention.” He wrapped his arms around my waist.
There was no way to respond to that, so I decided to hug him tight instead. To show him how important he was to me too.
Chapter 19
I had really thought I was okay with all that I learned about Jack’s business for a few days. Then I went back to my apartment by myself and had a chance to really think about it. I had fooled myself into thinking it wasn’t a big deal and that I could move forward. But it only took a half day away from Jack and another voicemail on my answering machine from Michael for my head to start spinning.#p#分页标题#e#
I remembered how turned on I was watching the couple act out their scene at Jack’s office. We had both exploded with such carnal need that we practically ran to find privacy so that we could satisfy our craving. What happens when I am not there? I remembered the way the women all looked at Jack like they wanted to eat him alive, especially Jenna. It would be so easy for him to have whatever he wanted, a woman with experience who knew how to satisfy a man. Being with me hadn’t even been enough for Michael, and he didn’t have porn stars available at his beck and call.
For the first time since I met him, I was glad that Jack was gone on a business trip and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night. I needed some time to think and clear my head. Being around him just made everything seem so easy and natural, like it was just him and me against the world, and no one else existed. But that wasn’t reality. I had walked around with blinders on for a long time with Michael, and I couldn’t allow myself to be blind again. It hurt too much when it ended.
I sorted through my mail, exchanged a few texts with Sienna and decided to call my mom before I had to get ready for work. She had left me another message a few days ago, but I was at Jack’s and completely forgot to call her back. We talked for a while about her book club, dad’s latest wood project and how I was adjusting in the city. I hadn’t planned on mentioning Jack, because I didn’t want to worry her. I knew she had been worried about me after my breakup with Michael, and I figured it was better not to bring up that I was spending almost all of my free time with a man that she would assume was a rebound.
“I was starting to think I was going to have to send out a search party for you dear.”
“I’m sorry Mom, I was out and didn’t pick up the message until this morning.” Half a lie was better than a full lie.
“I called three days ago, were you traveling for a show?” Damn it, I forgot that Mom doesn’t miss anything and I needed to be more careful.
“Ummm, no. I was at a friends.”
“Siennas?”
“Ummm, no.” Why couldn’t I be a better liar? Some people didn’t even have to think of a lie, they just opened their mouth and they came out fluently.
“Did you make some new friends?” Crap. She wasn’t going to stop until she got an explanation.
“No, mom. I met someone. I wasn’t going to mention it because it is so new.” If you counted Hawaii, it had been almost two months already, so new wasn’t exactly the truth.
“Oh.” I knew how my mother worked. When she wanted more information, she would say “oh.” And me, being the type of person I was, would not be able to take the awkward silence that ensued and would vomit an explanation. But I wasn’t planning to give on the subject of Jack.
“Yes, mom. I just don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“Oh.”
Damn her. “I don’t want you to worry about me, mom. I’m fine.”
“So I should be worried about the new man you are seeing?”
Yes mom, he makes pornos and has control issues. “No, mom, I didn’t mean that you should worry.”
“Oh.”
God damn it, I needed to get out myself out of her web.
“What I meant was, I knew you would worry about me being in a relationship so soon after what happened with Michael.”
“Of course I worry about you honey, that’s what mom’s are supposed to do. So it’s more than dating then, you’re in a relationship?”
Shit, now I’ve worried her and put her into full on interrogation mode. I had no choice but to tell her something to make her feel better.#p#分页标题#e#