Being Kalli(22)

Scout chews on her lip, digesting this. “Yeah, but don’t we have more than enough parties at uni? I’m falling behind on an assignment. I’ve got two due early next week, and I’ve only started one.”

Deciding I’m too far, I grab three pillows and stuff them on the floor a couple of feet from Scout and sit in position. Reaching out to grab her leg, I say, “We can use that as an incentive! You help me with my assignment and I’ll help you with yours, then we part-ay.”

The one good thing about Scout and I is we are as dedicated to rocking out at parties as we are at the serious issues. I play mum often enough to realise nothing comes easy or free. And when you get it, it’s only after pushing yourself further than you thought you could.

Scout’s parents were rich enough to pay for all Scout’s university needs. That said, her dad’s had two affairs, her mum had one afterwards out of spite, and her sister overcame a near drowning as a toddler. Her family hasn’t always been happy or privileged.

Suddenly, Scout’s stiff facial features crack and a smile peeks at the corner of her mouth. I always know how to convince my best friend.

“No, no, missy. I know exactly why you’re doing this. It makes complete sense now.”

Uh-oh. What have I done to myself?

“You want an excuse to shake your slutty ass at that Donovan guy again! I saw him watching you on campus this week.”

I realise my first response shouldn’t have been, “He did?” but rather, “No, I have forgotten about him.” Oops! Too late now.

“Oh, yeah. You know when you had that tight miniskirt on? Man, I think he dialled ninety degrees and watched you until you became a haze in the distance. I literally could have sat on him like he was a bench.”

Since I have her leg, I yank and she comes tumbling to the floor with all her limbs flailing everywhere. She gets on her knees and starts punching me, but her arms are the size of Heidi Klum’s so I assume a Barbie would hurt more if it were thrown at me. My spaghetti arms are no different so we slap around on the floor, cracking jokes, each a lower blow than the last.

“You want Donovan hard.”

“You want that chick you licked up at that last party.”

“You want to taste Donovan’s sweaty, hairy balls!”

“You’re a lesbo who wants to lick that chick’s—”

At that, Scout comes flying over me and clamps a hand to my mouth, which I lick at. This removes her fast and effectively.

She’s strangely quiet after this. She offers me a smile, which I’m as likely to accept as her choosing a silver ring over a gold one. She mumbles something and starts fixing up the sheets and clothes and objects strewn everywhere.

“Hey, Scout,” I say tenderly, stopping her from spring-cleaning her already clean room. “I’m sorry if I took the joke too far. I haven’t met her, and if you like her it doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact, I’m happy because I think it’s time you had another partner. That Jack guy wasn’t worth your time or this nine-month abstinence from relationships.”

Just weird that she got so defensive like that.

“Come on, I don’t like her, Kalli. Ack. I’m not a lesbian.”

I wink. Good point. Now I feel bad for insinuating she wasn’t straight. “Touché.”

Scout winks back.

We sit on the bed and talk. Donovan, Nate, Mum, her sister, Steph.

“Hey, I need to know about Nate. Has he said anything to you about me?”

“Did you fuck it up?”

“Scout, I’m great at fucking things up. It’s so weird between us.”

“I won’t say I told you so.”

I feign anger and slap a fist to her mattress. “You just did!”

“Anyway, what I meant to say before we got sidetracked is I do not want Donovan. He’s so great at kissing, so I’m sure it’s all he can do.”

“Ahh, so quick to judge.”

We chat some more until I get back to the party topic. The truth is, I’m not put off by Nate’s interest in me. I’m just keen to show him how wild I can get. I get a kick from the sickest things: the thought of him trying to hide an erection in public, or his flustered face when he sees a part of my body that should be covered.

I’m determined to keep him as my friend. I know my other uni friends bag me out about my latest hook ups, but Scout and Nate never talk about me behind their backs, and it’s little things like that that show true friendship.

I tell myself this change in where we stand doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I like change, I like being on my toes and not knowing what comes next. Once I thought so long and hard about that night Mum went to get groceries and He was with me in their room that my nausea tortured me. For a whole day at school I couldn’t eat a thing—not even breakfast that morning—I wasn’t hungry, but knew I should eat.