“Got it.” I slide off the stool and pull some orange juice from the fridge.
“Did you see lover boy out there?” he asks.
I snatch a glass from the dish drainer and check it for cleanliness. Crystal has a bad habit of just rinsing glasses with water and setting them in the drainer — no dish soap involved. “Brendan?”
“The one and only. He knocked on the door.”
I snort. “And let me guess… you didn’t let him in?”
He gives a pathetic shrug. “I don’t feel good.”
“It’s fine. I don’t really care.”
He opens an eye a slit. “Really?”
The tone of his voice says he doesn’t believe me.
I fill the glass to the rim with juice, then swallow half of its contents in a few gulps. “Yep.”
“I thought you were ignoring me all week because I called him Brandon.”
“You did more than that, but I wasn’t ignoring you. I was just in my shell, sorry.”
“I guess no one’s perfect,” he muses.
“You can say that again.” I hold the glass of cool liquid against my temple.
“Did you talk to him?”
“What else would I have done? Walked right by him and acted like we’ve never met?”
He moans and rolls over. “Ignore him, like me.”
“I talked to him. He kind of wants me back.”
“I knew it. What did you say?”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I mean, sometimes I miss the way things used to be…”
He peeks at me again. “There are better things out there.”
I sigh and take another sip. “I know.”
“Seriously.”
“I know.” I lean against the counter and nibble on my thumb nail. “Do you think I’m demanding?”
“Yeah,” he says, a little too quickly.
I stare at him. “Wait. What?”
He snorts. “You’re surprised?”
I throw my hands up. “Yes! You’ve never told me I’m like that.”
“Don’t shout. Headache, remember?”
I press my fingers against my mouth. “Sorry.”
“Let me be more specific.” He sighs and fluffs the pillow under his head. “You’re Type A. You like things a certain way. In the best sense, that means you get stuff done, and you don’t quit until things are done right. In the worst sense…”
“It means I’m demanding.” I tap the glass, staring into its neon contents. “Of everyone?”
“Of some people more than others, although I doubt anyone is safe.”
“I think I was pretty demanding of Brendan when we were together.”
How could I have never noticed? Could our breakup have been partly because of my supposedly exorbitant needs, and not just due to the many miles between us?
“If he still wants you back after all this time, you couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I don’t know…”
“Unless of course he likes a woman who tells him what to do, which I wouldn’t put past him.”
“Hm,” is all I offer.
“What about Simon?” Eryk asks. “Does he like a demanding woman?”
“Forget him.”
Eryk raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, right. Not likely. Even if you weren’t entangled with him, I could never forget a face like that.”
“We want different things.”
“You also want some of the same things.”
“Okay. Sex.” I hold my finger up. “And, really, that’s the only desire that matches up. Don’t tell me that’s enough.”
“I wasn’t going to. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
I make a surly face at him. “It’s not demanding to want a normal relationship.”
“I agree.”
“Okay. Good.”
I swirl my glass around on the counter, watching the last of the juice ricochet against its sides.
“How’s it going with Brian?”
“Ugh.”
“Did you break up or something?”
“No, but if you’re talking about normal relationships, that one is anything but. You may think you have it bad with straight men but, trust me, gay men can be even worse.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Sorry.”
He sighs. “It’s fine. Want to watch Freaks and Geeks and do a shot every time James Franco comes on screen? Maybe if I get drunk enough, I can call Brian over and imagine he’s James.”
“You have a headache.”
“It’s getting better.”
“That still seems like the last thing you should be doing right now. Plus, it’s Thursday.”
“I don’t have to work tonight.”
I laugh. “Yeah, but I have to work in the morning.”