He had to get her back. He couldn't lose their friendship. Victoria was the single most important woman in his life, and living without her was incomprehensible.
Stefan gripped his glass, resting his other hand on the bar and hanging his head down between his shoulders. Hindsight was just as cruel as fate, in his opinion. He'd known he was using her, had known that he needed to in order to gain what he wanted. But fate had dangled all those opportunities in front of his face and he'd taken chances he never should've taken-the marriage, the documentary...the sex. Because all of those chances didn't just involve his life, they affected Victoria's.
He hurled the Scotch tumbler across the room, not feeling any better when the crackling of glass and shards splintering to the floor resounded in the room.
Seconds later his guard burst through the door. "Your Highness, are you all right?"
Stefan shook his head. No, he was not all right.
"Glass broke," he said. "I'll clean it."
With that, the guard backed out again, leaving Stefan alone once more. But alone wasn't good. Alone meant he had only his thoughts to keep him company, and it was those haunting thoughts that had that invisible band around his chest tightening.
Memories of Victoria washed over him-on their wedding day gliding down the aisle, swimming in the ocean, beneath him in bed, gazing up at him like he was her world.
If they were just friends, then this revelation about the movie wouldn't have hurt her so badly. He'd lost her as his wife...he refused to lose his best friend, too.
* * *
Victoria was still in her office. Her employees had left long ago, but she stood in the middle of her spacious sewing room in front of the three-way mirror trying her hardest to pin the dress without sticking herself...again. The design was finally coming along, and she wanted to get it finished tonight.
Working through a broken heart was the only way she would get past this. She had to throw all her emotions into her work because if she went home, if she had to stop and even think for a moment about her personal life, she'd crumble and may never recover.
A knot formed in her stomach. She hated regrets, and hated even more that those regrets circled around Stefan. Fury filled her, pain consumed her. But at the end of the day she only had herself to blame for falling in love with him. She should've known better. Hadn't she seen over the years how he was with women? Hadn't she witnessed firsthand how he'd discarded them when they got too close?
And Victoria had fallen into his trap, fallen for those charms and assumed that bond they'd formed as teens would get them through anything. But even the strongest bonds could be broken with enough force.
On a sigh, she shoved a pin through the silk gathered at her waist and glanced up into the mirror. A scream caught in her throat at the sight of the man standing behind her.
"Need a hand?" Stefan asked.
She whirled around. "How did you get in here?"
"Door was unlocked."
She'd been so wrapped up in her anger, her hurt and work to check it after her last employee left.
"I've called you for days. You never answered or returned my calls."
Victoria crossed her arms over her chest, as if that could protect her from allowing any more hurt to seep in.
"I went by your house first," he told her, still remaining in the doorway as if he were afraid to come closer. Smart man. "I should've known you'd be here working."
"And as you can see, I'm busy."
She lifted the heavy skirt of her silk gown and turned back to the mirror. Reaching for another pin from the large cushion on the table beside her, she tugged at the bustline. If that didn't get pinned, she'd be spilling out, and she refused to ever let Stefan have the privilege of seeing her naked again.
"I flew all this way to talk to you, Tori. Don't shut me out."
With care, she slid the pin in, annoyed at her shaky hands. "I didn't shut you out. You did that when you chose to keep the film to yourself and use me for my brothers."
"Na pari i eychi, Victoria." He moved farther into the room, his eyes locking onto hers in the mirror. "You won't even listen to me? I've been up front with you about everything else other than the film, but you've already lumped me into that same jerk category as Alex and assumed the worst."
"So what if I have?" she asked him. "You took my trust and loyalty for granted. You knew going in you wanted to use my brothers for this documentary. Why not just tell me?"
Resting his hands on his denim-clad hips, he shook his head. "I knew you had enough going on in your life. This film really didn't involve you."
She was wrong. The hurt could slice deeper. She'd always heard that the people you love most could also hurt you the most. Too bad she had to experience the anguish and despair to understand the saying.
"I see." She swallowed, turning back around to face him. From up on the large pedestal where she stood, she was now eye to eye with him. "I've been your best friend, then wife and lover, but you didn't think this involved me. That pretty much says it all, doesn't it? I obviously wasn't as much a part of your life as I thought because I assumed we shared everything. My mistake and one I certainly won't make again."
"Tori, I can't change what I did, but I can't let you go, either. I need you."
"Ah, yes. The beloved crown and country," she all but mocked.
"Don't," he told her. "Don't let your anger get in the way of doing what is right."
She nearly laughed at that. Doing what is right? Fine, then, since she prided herself on honesty, she'd do what was right and tell him how she felt.
"I fell in love with you," she blurted out. Her eyes locked on his. "Crazy, isn't it? And I don't mean love in the way a friend loves another. I love you in the way a woman loves a man, a wife loves a husband. You don't know how I wish I could turn these emotions off."
When he remained silent, Victoria kept going, ignoring the dark circles beneath his heavy-lidded baby blues.
"I thought you loved me," she said, not caring that she was bearing her soul. This situation couldn't get any more humiliating, anyway. "I was naive enough to think that all your actions were signs that you were taking our relationship deeper, but you don't love me. If you did, I wouldn't be hurting like this right now. You only flew here because you care about yourself, not me."
Moisture filled Stefan's eyes, but Victoria refused to believe he was affected by her declaration.
"But I'm willing to give you a chance to speak for yourself. Do you love me? Is that why you're here?" she asked, searching his eyes. "Honestly?"
"As much as I ever did," he told her. "You're my best friend."
She lowered her lids over the burn, a lone tear streaking down her cheek. "Do you love me as more than a friend, Stefan?" she asked, opening her eyes.
"If I could love anyone, Tori, it would be you."
"So the answer is no."
Silence enveloped them, and she couldn't stand another minute in his sight. And since he was making no move to leave, and this was her turf, she'd have to be the one to walk away.
"You're the last man I will ever let humiliate me," she told him, damning her cracking voice. "And you're the last man I'll ever love."
He reached up and swiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb. "Can you at least work with me for the coronation?"
"I will stay married to you until then, but I cannot live with you. This marriage will be in name only from here on out."
She stepped off the platform and started to move by him.
"But you'll you be at the coronation?" he asked.
She stopped in her tracks, her shoulders stiffened, but she did not turn around. "I would never go back on my word to a friend. I'll be there."
* * *
Countless times he'd lied. He'd lied his way through his teen years, lied when he knew the truth would only get him into trouble, but he couldn't mislead Victoria when she'd asked him if he loved her. Not even when he knew the truth would break her even more.
She'd accused him of humiliating her, which made him no better than the bastard who'd publicly destroyed her. The end result was the same. Victoria trusted and loved with her whole heart and had ended up hurt.
Stefan rested his hands against the marble rail on the edge of his master suite's balcony. Over and over during the past three months, he'd replayed his time with Victoria, looking for those moments he'd missed, trying to see exactly where he went wrong.
He knew she loved him as a friend. Friend love was something he could handle. But this deeper love he'd been afraid of coming from her was just something he couldn't grasp. He'd never loved a woman other than his mother. In his world love meant commitment and loyalty-two things he reserved for his country.