A porter helped me take the luggage out to the car park. I told him that my husband had gone to fill the car with petrol and headed for a nearby bench, ignoring his suggestion that I’d be better off waiting in the warmth of the hotel. I hadn’t wanted to take a heavy coat with me to Thailand and because I’d expected to go from the hotel to the car to the airport, barely venturing out into the open, I was only wearing a jacket which was no match for the vicious wind that whipped across the car park. By the time Jack showed up twenty-five minutes later, I was blue with cold and on the verge of tears. Stopping the car only feet away from me, he got out and walked over to where I was sitting.
‘Get in,’ he said, picking up the cases and loading them into the boot.
Too cold to argue, I stumbled into the car and huddled against the door, wanting only to feel warm again. I waited for him to speak, to say something—anything—which would go some way to explaining why I felt as if I was sitting next to someone I didn’t know. When the silence had gone on for too long, I summoned up the courage to look at him. The lack of emotion on his face shocked me. I had expected to see anger, stress or irritation. But there was nothing.
‘What’s going on, Jack?’ I asked unsteadily. It was as if I hadn’t spoken. ‘For God’s sake, Jack!’ I cried. ‘What the hell is going on?’
‘Please don’t swear,’ he said distastefully.
I looked at him in amazement. ‘What do you expect? You disappear without a word, leaving me to spend our wedding night alone and then you turn up half an hour late to fetch me, leaving me waiting in the freezing cold! Surely I have a right to be angry!’
‘No,’ he said. ‘You don’t. You have no rights at all.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous! Is there someone else, Jack? Is that what all this is about? Are you in love with somebody else? Is that where you were last night?’
‘Now it’s you who’s being ridiculous. You’re my wife, Grace. Why would I need anybody else?’
Defeated, I shook my head miserably. ‘I don’t understand. Is there some problem at work, something you can’t tell me about?’
‘I’ll explain everything when we’re in Thailand.’
‘Why can’t you tell me now? Please, Jack, tell me what’s wrong.’
‘In Thailand.’
I wanted to tell him that I didn’t particularly feel like going to Thailand with him in the mood he was in, but I took comfort in the fact that, once there, I would at least have an explanation as to why our marriage had got off to such a bad start. Because his mood seemed to be related to some sort of problem at work, I couldn’t help feeling apprehensive that it might be something I’d be seeing a lot more of in the future. I was so busy working out how I would adjust to being married to a man I hadn’t known existed that it was a while before I realised we were heading straight out to the airport.
‘What about Millie?’ I cried. ‘We’re meant to be going to see her!’
‘I’m afraid it’s too late,’ he said. ‘We should have turned off miles back.’
‘But I told you in my message that we had to stop by the hospital!’
‘Well, as you didn’t mention anything about it when you got into the car, I thought you’d changed your mind. Besides, we don’t really have time.’
‘But our flight isn’t until this afternoon!’
‘It leaves at three, which means we have to check in at twelve.’
‘But I promised her! I told Millie I’d go and see her this morning!’
‘When? When did you tell her that? I don’t remember.’
‘When she was in the ambulance!’
‘She was unconscious, so she’ll hardly remember.’
‘That’s not the point! Anyway, I told Mum that we’d call in and she’ll have told Millie.’
‘If you had checked with me first I would have told you that it wouldn’t be possible.’
‘How could I check with you when you weren’t there! Jack, please turn back, we have plenty of time. The check-in may open at twelve but it won’t close until much later. I won’t stay long, I promise, I just want to see her.’
‘It’s out of the question, I’m afraid.’
‘Why are you being like this?’ I cried. ‘You know what Millie’s like, you know she won’t understand if I don’t turn up.’
‘Then phone her and explain. Phone her and tell her you got it wrong.’
Frustrated, I burst into tears. ‘I didn’t get it wrong,’ I sobbed. ‘We have plenty of time, you know we do!’