Beginnings(16)
I hugged her instead.
“Thank you.” When I let go she only nodded, surprised by my actions. I don't think we had ever hugged before. We got in the car and headed to school.
I couldn’t believe she had stood up for me. I didn't think it was a bad lie, considering what she had to work with. Way better than everyone thinking I belonged in a nut house, which I'm sure most of them still did, and a lot better than them knowing I had an imaginary best friend.
Thinking of Adam made my chest feel like it was caving in. I still refused to believe he was gone.
********
The morning went better than I expected. Mr. Timmons acted as though nothing had happened. The other kids stared and some whispered, but I had expected that.
Jeremy kept trying to get my attention but I ignored him. I wasn't ready to face him. I couldn’t imagine what he must think of me and my actions.
By lunch time I was feeling less nervous. I was definitely getting pointed and stared at but it didn't really bother me. Well, maybe a little.
It was comforting to sit in my familiar seat in the library. When I went to pull Adam's book out I felt a stab of pain. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I refused to cry today.
I was doing my math homework when Jeremy sat down across from me.
“So, you going to ignore me all day?”
I looked up at him, “I'm just not really sure what to say.”
“You could start by telling me what happened. Not the bullshit excuse your cousin made up, but the truth.”
I shook my head, “I can't.”
He sat staring at me for a moment, “I want you to know I didn't tell anyone what happened outside. I told everyone that by the time I got outside you were gone. I called your house every day but they always said you weren't available to talk. I was going out of my mind with worry. Then you show up today acting like nothing happened, except I can tell you're not okay. You've lost weight, too much weight, you have circles under your eyes, and the color's gone from your face.” He looked down at his hands. “So, I thought maybe if I shared a secret with you then you might feel better about opening up to me.” He looked back at me with hopeful eyes. “Not here of course. Maybe we could meet after school? I could give you a ride home.”
I sat chewing my bottom lip, contemplating what he said.
“Okay, how about this: you come with me, and after I tell you, you can decide if it's worthy of you sharing your secret. No pressure.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” His eyebrows shot up, not sure if I was serious.
“Yes.” Why am I doing this? I had no intention of telling him the truth.
He smiled at me, “Meet me at my car after school.”
I don't think he wanted to give me the chance to change my mind because he was up and out the door before I could respond.
Great. What have I gotten myself into? I wasn't sure why, but I trusted Jeremy. I liked being around him. It wasn't the same as when I was with Adam, but he was still fun to be with. I'll go and hear his story. He told me there was no pressure. I believe him. No harm in going and listening to what he has to say.
********
Jeremy sat on the trunk of his car waiting for me. My heart pounded harder against my chest with every step I took . By the time I reached him it was drumming in my ears.
He hopped off his car and got in. I opened the passenger side and slid in. We drove in silence to my house, giving me time to breathe and remind myself that he was the one that would be doing the talking.
He parked in front and turned the engine off. He unbuckled his seat to turn his body in my direction.
“It's my fault we had to move,” he began, “When I was a kid, my friends and I got into hacking. Over the years we got good; so good that we got paid to help people out. It started out innocent. By innocent I mean nothing that did any real damage: changing grades for college transcripts and stuff. Then one of my friends started hacking into hospital records to change people's files, approving them for certain drugs. We started heading down a dark path, but all we could see were dollar signs. We were young and stupid, so stupid. Word got around about us, and we found ourselves in deep shit. Certain people didn't appreciate young punks like us taking away their business. Once I realized the attention we were starting to get I backed out, but it wasn't soon enough. They threatened my friends to stop, and to prove how serious they were they beat the crap out of a family member that was closest to them,” he stopped to take in a deep breath. “My younger brother paid the price for my dumb ass. I'm lucky they didn't kill him, it was close though. The guilt ate at me. I confessed it all to my parents. They quit their jobs and moved us as far away from New York as they could.”