I started back inside when I noticed Adam watching from my bedroom window. My stomach dropped, I couldn't imagine what that whole scene must have looked like to him.
When I got back inside, Haley was standing in the kitchen entryway with her mouth dropped open, “Was that the new kid who just left our house?”
“Yes.”
“Did I see him kiss you?”
“Well, not exactly.”
“Nobody's going to believe this! My bookworm cousin just landed the hottest guy in school! Who would have thought!”
She darted upstairs before I could set her straight. I had a sinking feeling it was to call her friends with what she had just witnessed.
I knew I needed to go up and face Adam but I was too nervous. I didn't know what kind of mood he would be in. He'd been acting so weird lately, I wasn't sure what to expect from him anymore.
I found him sitting in his chair, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together, with a vacant look in his eyes.
The music Jeremy and I had had on was still playing. I walked over to it and put on one of our favorite playlists. I stood there waiting for him to say something.
He looked at me, “Do you like him?” His voice was dry and empty.
“A part of me does.”
He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair, “I don't like these feelings I'm having. I hated having him in here; I hated watching the way he looked at you; I hated the way you laughed together, but the thing I hated most was that it wasn't me brushing your hair out of your face or kissing you good night. It kills me that I can't touch you and he can. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach watching him with you.”
“He asked me out.”
He winced at my words and inhaled sharply.
His voice was strained when he responded, “What did you tell him?”
“No.”
“Why?”
I let my arms fall to my sides and gave a slight shrug, “He's not the one I want.”
A smile started spreading on his lips, “Oh?”
“How can I say yes when my heart belongs to you? It's always belonged to you,” I spoke softly, staring down at my fiddling hands. I heard him get up and walk over to me.
“Annie, look at me.” When I looked up, my heart started to race at the intensity of his stare. “These feelings I have for you are tearing me apart. I want you to be mine but that's not fair of me. What can I give to you?”
“You. You can give me you.”
“I've been yours from the moment we met.” He stepped closer so our faces were inches apart and closed his eyes. “I try to imagine what you would feel like to touch. The smell of your hair. Your lips on mine.” When he opened his eyes they were full of longing. I felt my lips part and my breathing got heavier. My entire body ached for him to hold me. “I'm yours Annie, always.”
Chapter 5
I barely slept that night. My stomach had constant butterflies and my mind re-played every detail of what happened. I'd open my eyes every so often to find Adam staring out the window or watching me sleep.
Adam was already downstairs when I woke up the next morning. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and threw on some clothes, eager to see him. I tripped over my feet as I bolted down the stairs and stumbled into the kitchen. Smooth, Anna. He, of course, was leaning over my uncle's shoulder, reading the paper. Adam straightened his body when I clumsily entered and gave me a crooked grin.
“Morning, Annie.”
A huge smile took over my face. Everything would be different between us from then on. I'd never wanted anyone more than Adam, and I knew I never would.
All through breakfast we kept staring at each other with goofy grins on our faces. He was just as happy as I was to know each others true feelings.
On the car ride to school Adam sat in the middle next to me. We were acting like teenagers newly crushing on each other, instead of childhood best friends who knew everything about one another.
It was hard to concentrate in class. I had to stop myself from turning around to look at him. He was restless too. I felt him fidgeting and repositioning a lot. Eventually he moved in front of the classroom and leaned against the blackboard. We just stared at each other. Sometimes one of us would shyly smile at the other.
Near the end of class he kept rubbing his eyes and scrunching his brows together. He straightened up and took a step forward, but he wobbled a bit. Something was wrong. I could see it on his face. He started walking towards me but swayed, causing him to grip the teachers desk for support. He bent over and dropped his head down. His other hand moved over his heart.
“Annie...” My name came out as barely a whisper. His hand started clawing at his shirt, “Annie the pain! I feel like I'm on fire!” He cried out in pain, then dropped to his knees and started rocking.