Before You(74)
Not wanting to dwell on Cam and Jax or her screwed up life, she dragged several blankets out of the linen closet, intending to make up a bed on the sofa. Even in her depressed state, she knew sleeping in Cam’s bed wasn’t an option. She didn’t correct Jax when he accused her of going back to climb in Cam’s bed after what happened in that room, but she knew even then that she could never do that. She had to tell Cam the truth, anything less would be an insult to their friendship, their history. She had to face the facts. She didn’t love Cam like he was her whole world anymore, maybe she never did.
Laying back on the mass of blankets stretched over the lumpy sofa, she stared at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. When she realized sleep wasn’t happening anytime soon, she pulled out her phone to call Sara, hoping that she didn’t wake her. It was nearly midnight with the time difference.
“Hello, Bre,” Sara yawned. “What are you doing calling me so late? Don’t tell me Cam left you alone again.”
“No, I mean yes. He’s not here right now. We went to some charity event, but he disappeared and I didn’t wait around for him.”
“What? Where are you now?”
“At his house, alone.” Bre rolled onto her side.
“Did you two fight?”
“No. Not exactly,” Bre replied, pulling a blanket over her shoulder.
Sara didn’t respond for a few minutes. “Then why do you sound so… unhappy?”
“I slept with Jax.”
“Excuse me. I’m still half asleep.” Bre could hear the sheets rustling. “Did you just say something about sleeping with Jax, as in Cam’s friend, Jax?”
Bre hesitated before confirming what she’d just said. Saying it again made it real and inescapable. “Yes.”
“I knew there was something there. And how did that go?”
Bre closed her eyes and covered her face with her hand, suddenly feeling as if a thousand eyes were on her. “Which part, during or after?”
“Either, both.”
“During seemed to go well. I don’t have much experience, you know,” Bre said, and then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “The after part, I would say that didn’t go so well.”
“When did this happen?”
“The first time?”
“There was more than one time?” Sara’s voice was high and alarmed.
“Yes.”
“Aubrey Keaton. You better tell me when.”
“Last weekend when he delivered Cam’s plane ticket.” Bre ran her fingers nervously through the yarn dangling from the edge of the blanket
“Wow, okay. I’m not sure how to respond to that. It seems wrong to deliver a plane ticket to someone’s despondent girlfriend and then have sex with her.”
Inexplicably, Bre felt fiercely protective of Jax at that moment despite everything that had happened between them earlier. “It wasn’t Jax’s fault. I had too much to drink, and he tried to push me away, but I was persistent. Technically, Cam and I weren’t together.”
“Okay. So then you slept with him again? When did this happen?”
Sickened by the confession on the tip of her tongue, she momentarily regretted telling Sara the truth. Just picturing the words falling out of her mouth to describe the encounter in the conference room caused a red blush to stain her cheeks. She knew it wasn’t her finest moment, but actually saying the words to Sara made it seem more vulgar than the act alone.
When Bre didn’t respond, Sara prompted her to continue. “Come on, Bre. It can’t be that bad. Most people do things they’re ashamed of. It’s about time you joined the club. Besides, you were becoming too saintly on that pedestal all alone.” Sara laughed lightheartedly.
“Fine. We had sex tonight at the charity event in some empty conference room in the hotel,” Bre spat out before she changed her mind and hung up the phone. She needed to get this off her chest.
“Holy crap! Are you serious?” she breathed. “Good god, Bre. I didn’t think you had it in you. I’m impressed, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
“Well, thanks, I guess. I’m starting to realize that you think I’m really boring.”
“Not boring, just predictable. When there’s a choice between doing something for you or someone else, you always make the choice that’s best for others. It’s nice to see that you aren’t a robot after all and you actually make impulsive decisions.”
“I don’t think you’re cheering me up. That’s your point, right?”
“In a round about way, yes. I just want you to see that you can reach out and grab what makes you happy sometimes. Of course it’s nice to think about others, but it’s okay to do things for yourself, too. Doing the right thing for you is sometimes the right thing for other people too, even if it hurts them a little.”