Before You(65)

“I want to be alone. I’m not in the mood to deal with all this crap right now.” Bre pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes.

“No, we’re eating if I have to strap you to that chair.”

“Fine, but it doesn’t mean I’m talking to you.” She folded her arms across her chest.

“Okay. I just want to say one more thing.”

“Yes?” Bre said, raising her eyebrows.

“I don’t think Cam makes you happy anymore. You don’t have to respond, just think about it.”

“Really? Does that mean you think being with you would make me happy?” Irritated, she stared defiantly at his face, taking in every detail from the small smile playing around his lips to the smoky fire mischievously dancing in his gray eyes.

“I made you happy last weekend, for a while, anyway. I guess I was just a placeholder for Cam, the second best alternative, right?” he sneered acerbically.

“Jax, that’s not fair. It wasn’t like that. I just can’t do this to Cam or anybody else. I don’t want to be like my mom. I won’t treat Cam like that, otherwise I’m no better than her.” She looked around, hoping that nobody was listening to the conversation. She lowered her voice. “Jax, this conversation isn’t going anywhere. I don’t understand why you keep talking about it.”

“You’re right Bre. I don’t know why I bother, either. Obviously, you’re happy with whatever crumbs Cam tosses your way and you know what? I don’t give a shit any longer. I’m done. Find somebody else’s shoulder to cry on,” Jax spit out as he stood up, his face turning cold and hard. He tossed some money on the table. “I trust that you can find your way home. Maybe you could call Cam, and he’ll stop doing whatever or whoever he’s so absorbed with at the moment and pick you up.”

Jax’s terse, thinly veiling insinuation hit her like a warning slap, causing her stomach to plummet, but instead of being weak, she tipped her chin up defiantly. “What exactly are you trying to infer?”

Jax turned around, letting his now cold eyes roam down her body, and then he averted his gaze, staring absently at the patio exit. He swept his hand through his brown hair and rubbed the back of his neck, carefully considering what to say. Bre couldn’t help watching the stark relief of the flexed muscles in his arms and shoulders in fascination. It took too much willpower to keep her eyes on his face. She hated that he made her notice him even when he acted like an asshole.

“Make what you want of it. I’m done trying to force you to open you eyes and see what’s right in front of your face.”

Jax turned to look at her then, his eyes narrowed, and she blanched in response to the obvious resentment painted across his face. She didn’t know if he intended to direct his resentment at her or Cam, but either thought made her ill.

“And according to you, what’s right in front of my face?”

Detecting her uneasiness, Jax’s face softened briefly, but his mask returned so quickly, she wasn’t sure she read his emotions accurately. “So many things, Bre, but you refuse to see any of them.” Jax looked away momentarily. “Even if I told you what was blatantly obvious to most people, you wouldn’t believe what I said. You see what you want to believe. Telling you otherwise would be a waste of time. You’ll only see it when you’re ready.”

“Just tell me!” Bre said almost desperately.

Jax started walking toward the exit again, and without turning around he said, “It wouldn’t change anything. You made your choice a long time ago. Goodbye, Bre. Have a nice life.”

Watching Jax walk away was more painful than she could have ever imagined. She could feel the couple at the table next to her staring, and she wanted to crawl out of her skin and float away, but she kept her eyes averted and concentrated on flagging down the server. She told herself that having Jax in her life was too complicated. It was better this way. She just hoped she started believing that at some point soon.





Chapter Twenty-Four





The only conceivable place for a charity event to take place was at the Montage Beverly Hills Hotel. It was located in the Golden Triangle, steps from the legendary shopping and dining of Rodeo and Canon Drives. The hotel itself was magnificent with its Spanish Revival architecture, reminiscent of the glamour estates of California from the 1920s and 1930s.

“This will be fun, Bre,” Cam said as he opened her car door and grabbed her hand.

She smiled timidly, uncomfortable making small talk with strangers. She did enough of that with her clients at the gallery, and she really preferred to spend quality time with Cam so she could make some decisions about the future of their relationship.