Before You(43)

“I’m not here because Cam isn’t. I’m not his replacement,” Jax said, a little more harshly than he intended.

Bre shook her head. “I know you’re not. I don’t think of you as a substitute. You’re so much more than that.”

“What am I?” Jax watched the play of emotions across her face. Lust. Confusion. Desire.

“Somewhere between a friend and something more. I don’t know exactly.” Her voice lowered, and she played with the chain on her long silver charm necklace. “But I think about you all the time. You’re the first person I want to talk to when I wake up or before I go to sleep. Is that bad?”

“No,” Jax said, grabbing her elbow and squeezing it. “You don’t even want to know how much I think about you. It’s crazy.” He dropped her arm. “But I don’t want to hurt Cam or destroy the band. Not when we’re this close to being signed.”

“God, you sound like Cam.”

Jax sighed. “My dad thought he could control me by withdrawing his support from the band. I need to show him I can make it without his help, his connections. That’s been my focus for the last three years, but when I’m around you, none of it seems important.”

Bre laughed bitterly. “I know. I’m not judging you. I’m just as bad. I don’t try to sell my artwork because I don’t want to have anything in common with my mom. She’s an artist, so I won’t let myself pursue my dream. I know that’s irrational, but I don’t want to be like her.”

Jax nodded. “You’ll never be like her. From the moment I saw you at that crappy bar, I could tell you were real and genuine.”

Neither of them said anything for a couple minutes.

“Can I ask you something?” Bre said, interrupting his thoughts.

He paused for a second before answering. He didn’t want to answer any questions about Cam or his dad. “Okay,” he answered hesitantly.

“Why did you kiss me at your party?”

Jax turned to look at her and noticed the blush staining her cheeks. “Because I wanted to.”

“Why?”

Jax stroked his thumb over her bottom lip. He knew he shouldn’t do it. Just because she and Cam had broken up didn’t mean he had any right to touch her, but he couldn’t help himself. God, he loved her lips. “Because you’re beautiful and fun to be around, and when you look at me like you are right now, you’re hard to resist.”

“You think I’m beautiful?” she said, raising one eyebrow and leaning toward him.

“You know I do,” he whispered.

With their mouths inches apart, Jax could see the dark line around the edge of her amber irises. She rested her hand on his thigh, and he placed his hand on top of hers, loving the feel of her touching him. She smiled and it was beautiful and sweet, and he didn’t want to resist his attraction to her any longer. Even if it were a technicality, Cam didn’t have a claim on her anymore, not at this moment.

With her free hand, she ran her fingers along the side of his face. “I think you’re beautiful, too.”

“Beautiful?” he questioned. “I don’t think a man wants to be called beautiful.”

“No?” She shrugged, laughing. “You’re right, beautiful is the wrong word. How about handsome or sexy?”

“Much better,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer. His fingers dipped below the waistband of her jeans. “You have soft skin.” And he wanted to caress every inch of that skin. Her mouth parted in surprise, but she didn’t protest.

She moved her hand to his chest. “You have really soft, sensual lips. I’ve thought about them a lot since we kissed. It was nice.”

“Just nice?” he murmured, leaning forward to nip her ear. She smelled fresh like lavender and sunshine.

“Oh,” she moaned, her breathing shallow. “No, it was definitely better than nice, but I think we should have a do over so I know for sure. You left me so… unsatisfied before.”

He pressed his lips against hers and smiled. “I’d be more than happy to have a do over. I’m sure I can do better this time, but I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I’m sure,” she said, sliding her hand from his chest to his neck.

“You don’t think this is too soon?” He let his hands wander a couple inches under the bottom of her shirt.

“Too soon?” she said, looking baffled. “Why would it be too soon? If anything, it’s not soon enough.”

Jax chuckled. “You and Cam…” He hesitated, not wanting to talk about Cam. It didn’t seem right on so many levels. He didn’t want whatever was happening between them to be a reaction to Cam.