He shrugged. “Maybe a little of both?”
Her pulse hammered at the base of her throat while she stalled. A date. A date with Todd? She tried to picture it but couldn’t. She hadn’t been attracted to a man other than Mark in years. Well, except for Alec recently, which was obviously the height of stupidity. “I’m sorry, Todd. I’m not interested in dating anyone yet.”
Honestly, she might never be ready. The flutters of attraction Alec inspired terrified her more than anything else. Panic didn’t seem like a good ingredient for a relationship.
“Okay.” Disappointment marbled his benign expression. “If you change your mind, just say so.”
“I will.” Would she? She didn’t know—impossible to think during an out-of-body experience. The small office closed around them, yet Todd sat there looking comfortable and familiar. Unruffled. Calm.
Maybe a date with Todd was exactly what she needed. She’d known him for six years. He’d been consistent, levelheaded, and kind. The opposite of Mark in some important ways. And apparently the opposite of Alec, too. If she didn’t want a spinster’s life, maybe someone like Todd was the answer. Genuine—if friendly—affection couldn’t hurt her like passion.
“You’re still coming to the soft opening in about two weeks, right? Maybe I should invite some of the gang, too.”
“A little reunion .”
“If you all enjoy it, you could lobby to hold the firm’s annual holiday dinner here in December.” She remembered being a first-year associate at that dinner years ago.
“I love you in a dark suit.” She laughed as Mark twirled her around the dance floor to the band’s rendition of “I Could Write a Book.” All around them, her colleagues were dining and drinking in the ballroom decorated with twinkling light-strewn garland.
“I love you . . . period.” He pulled her close, bussing a quick kiss on her lips. “Next year will be so much better, I swear. I don’t want to lose you, Colby.”
They’d been frightened by his behavior and diagnosis, but with treatment, he’d been doing better. “You’ll never lose me. We’re in this together, and together we can conquer anything.”
He’d been so dashing and happy. It had made it easy to pretend they weren’t hiding the truth from the world or from themselves.
“Impressing a roomful of lawyers and rich clients could be very good for business.” Todd winked before stuffing the paperwork back in his briefcase, and she was glad to see that her putting him off hadn’t made things between them awkward.
“Let me walk you out.” She followed him into the dining room, where they ran into Alec, who’d just blown through the kitchen doors like the Tasmanian Devil. Now what?
He stabbed one hand through his hair before he saw them. “Sorry.”
Colby’s body heated from a mix of irritation and embarrassment as she watched Alec open and close his fists.
She turned her face away from Todd. Shooting Alec a warning with a look, she then spoke through a forced smile and clenched teeth. “Alec, this is my former colleague Todd Martin. He’ll be here for the soft opening.”
Alec stepped toward them and shook Todd’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Funny how she used to consider Alec a little geeky, but next to Todd he appeared vital and intense. Determined. And, despite better judgment—or rather, because of her lack of judgment—sexy.
“This is our executive chef, Alec Morgan.” Colby’s phony smile faltered thanks to her screwed-up thoughts.
“Alec.” Todd returned the firm handshake with a pleasant grin. A puppy compared with Alec’s pit bull presence. He pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. “I’m looking forward to being your guinea pig.”
Alec rocked back slightly on his heels and nodded. “I’ll aim to make it memorable.”
“For Colby’s sake, I hope you succeed.” Todd brushed his hand along her shoulder but didn’t let it linger. Still, Colby noticed Alec’s gaze home in on Todd’s gesture.
“Todd is on his way out, so we’ll leave you to whatever it is you rushed out here to do.” Colby nodded and led Todd away from Alec, who stood there blinking.
As they approached the door, Todd said, “Think about dinner, okay? Anytime, anyplace. I’ll even do Thai.”
“You hate Thai.”
“But you like it.” He grasped her hand and squeezed it. “At the very least, we’d have a pleasant night out, Colby. How long has it been since you’ve had one of those?”
Very recently. With Alec. The night she’d been bracing for a fight but instead had been treated to a delicious meal. Not that she, his boss, should entertain thoughts in his direction. His family would never look at her without thinking of Joe’s death. Most important, she shouldn’t invite another man into her personal life who could change so suddenly and violently, no matter how oddly mesmerizing he looked when brimming with emotion.