Bed of Roses (Bride Quartet #2)(107)

"I'm awake."

"Coffee." Parker crossed to the bed, offered the cup and saucer. "I brought it just in case."

"Thanks. Thanks, Parker."

"How about some breakfast?" Moving briskly now, Parker walked over to open the drapes, let in the light.

"Just not hungry."

"Okay." Parker sat on the side of the bed, brushed the hair back from Emma's cheek. "Did you sleep?"

"I did, actually. I guess it was an escape route, and I took it. I feel sort of musty and dull now. And stupid. I'm not suffering from some fatal disease. I don't have broken bones or internal bleeding. No one died, for God's sake. And I can't even talk myself into getting out of bed." 

"It's been less than a day."

"You're going to tell me to give myself time. It'll get better."

"It will. Some people say divorce can be like death. I think that's true. And I think something like this, when the love is so big, so deep, it's the same." Parker's eyes, warm and blue, radiated sympathy. "There has to be grief."

"Why can't I just be mad? Why can't I just be pissed off? The son of a bitch, the bastard, whatever. Can't I skip off the grief part and just hate him? We can all go out, get drunk, and trash him?"

"Not you, Emma. If I thought you could do it, if I thought it would help, we'd blow off the day, get drunk, and start the trashing right now."

"You would." Finding a smile, finally, Emma sat back against the pillows and studied her friend's face. "You know what I was lying here in my ocean of self-pity thinking right before you came in?"

"What?"

"That I should take Adele's offer. I could go to Jamaica, relocate, help her launch her business. I'd be good at it. I know how to set it up, handle the reins. Or at least find the right people to handle the various reins. It would be a fresh start for me, and I could make it work. I could make it shine."

"You could." Rising, Parker walked to the window again, adjusted the curtains. "It's a big decision to make, especially when you're in emotional upheaval."

"I've been asking myself how, for God's sake, how can I deal with seeing Jack all the time? Here, in town, at events. He's invited to one of our events every month or so. We all know so many of the same people, our lives are so interlinked. Even when I get to the point where I can think about him, about us, without . . ."

She had to pause, dig for control. "Without wanting to cry, how can I handle all of that? I knew it could be this way, I knew it going in, but . . ."

"But." Parker nodded, turned back.

"So I was lying here imagining taking the offer, starting fresh, building something new. The beach, the weather, a new challenge to focus on. I considered it for about five minutes. No, probably closer to three. This is home, this is family, this is you, this is us. This is me. So I'll have to figure out how to deal with it."

"I can be really pissed off at him for bringing you to the point you'd have considered that for even three minutes."

"But if I'd decided it was best for me, you'd have let me go."

"I'd have tried to talk you out of it. I'd have done spreadsheets, bullet points, graphs, charts, and many, many lists. With a DVD."

Tears spilled over again. "I love you so much, Parker."

Parker sat again, wrapped her arms around Emma and held tight.

"I'm going to get up, take a shower, get dressed. I'm going to start figuring out how to deal with it."

"Okay."





SHE GOT THROUGH THE DAY, AND THE NEXT. SHE BUILT ARRANGEMENTS, created bouquets, met with clients. She cried, and when her mother came by to be with her, she cried some more. But she dried the tears, and got through the day.

She dealt with crises, managed to handle her team's spoken and unspoken sympathy when they dressed an event. She watched brides carrying her flowers walk to the men they loved.

She lived and worked, laughed and ate, walked and talked.

Even though there was a void inside her nothing seemed to fill, she forgave him.




       
         
       
        
She came into the midweek briefing a few minutes late. "Sorry. I wanted to wait for the delivery for Friday night's event. I've got Tiffany processing, but I wanted to check the callas. We'll be using a lot of Green Goddess and I wanted to check the tone with the orchids before she started."

She went to the sideboard, chose a Diet Pepsi. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing yet. Actually, you can start," Parker told her. "Since Friday's our biggest event this week, and the flowers just arrived. Any problems?"