My heart flipped as I stared up into the dark beauty of his eyes, those ridiculously long eyelashes. "Do you wonder what it would be like to be with another woman?" I asked.
"No," he said. "I've never wanted anyone except you. Not for one second, not ever."
I released a breath. "Thank you." I looked down, biting my lip. Relief flooded my chest. Calder was stronger than I gave him credit for. I almost felt sorry for Hannah. She wouldn't be able to help but love him, even if only a little. I didn't want to wish her pain, but I couldn't bear for her to be with Calder in any way physically. "I just . . . there has to be something we can do . . . if you get married—"
Calder shook his head. "The only person I'll ever marry is you."
I furrowed my brow. "How will you avoid it? Can we leave sooner?"
He brought his hand up and massaged the back of his neck. "If we have to. It doesn't make me feel very secure in our plan. But yeah, if we have to."
"I'll be ready anytime."
"I know," Calder said, taking my hand and leading me to my bed. Outside the rain came down harder.
"Does Hector ever check on you?"
I bit my lip. "He checked on me once, but I don't think he will anymore. Hector put a lock on the outside of my door a few days ago. I'm not sure why."
Calder studied me for a second. "Bars will go up on your window once he contemplates the fact you're brave enough to scale the roof."
I let out a very quiet laugh. "Or that you're stupid enough to scale the roof."
Calder grinned. "I think he simply believes we've caught each other's eye, nothing more."
I nodded, but didn't mention how I'd confided in Hailey. That hadn't been smart. I had just thought for a brief moment she might help us. But she hadn't.
Calder looked at me seriously. "Just the fact that I've looked at you has made him crazy though, Eden. This," he moved his eyes around my room, indicating where he was, "is truly stupid. I just couldn't stand you not knowing what I was thinking. It was killing me."
"You could have sent a note somehow . . . some way."
"Yes, I could have. It would have been smarter." He gazed at me, his eyes roaming over my face as if in the last month, he had forgotten what I looked like.
"Yes," I agreed. I should make him leave. But he was right in front of me, his hair slicked all the way back from his gorgeous face, droplets still shimmering on his skin, and the male smell of him invading the air around me, making me want to close my eyes and inhale deeply.
And I understood the frantic feeling of needing to offer comfort to the one you loved, against all reason, all rational thought.
I put one hand up to his cheek and he closed his eyes and turned into it. "I'm so, so sorry about Maya," I whispered, tears immediately pricking my eyes. "I wanted so desperately to come to you."
A look of pain crossed Calder's features and he allowed it to remain there. Something about that made me fierce with protectiveness. He loved and trusted me enough to bare his pain to me. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. He turned his face into my neck and just breathed as I rubbed his back and turned to kiss his cheek again and again.
When I leaned back, Calder said, "It was so sudden. I didn't have time to prepare." He leaned back up. "It still doesn't seem real. I wondered if the gods were punishing me for what we did."
I bit my lip. "By causing Maya's death?" I shook my head. "Are the gods that cruel?"
Calder sighed out. "I don't think so but I have no proof."
I let out a breath and looked down at my nightgown-covered lap. "When we get out of here, I'll find you proof. I'll study every piece of information available until I find you proof."
Calder smiled a small, sad smile. "My Morning Glory."
We stared at each other for a minute until Calder's eyes finally moved down my body. "So this is what you sleep in?"
I looked down at the long, white nightgown and nodded my head slowly, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I'll wear something nicer when we sleep together," I said, feeling like a child in the modest, unattractive piece of nightwear. I knew women in the outside world showed skin sometimes. I very vaguely remembered wrapping my own arms around my mothers bare legs, her skirt just touching her knees, as she smiled and looked down at me. It seemed like a dream now.
Calder shook his head slowly, a look of heat coming into his eyes. "No, I love it. You're like a present I have to unwrap." One side of his lips quirked up. There it was. My smile.
"What do you wear to sleep in?" I asked.
Calder smiled. "Far more than I'll be wearing when I sleep with you," he said, grinning and leaning forward to kiss my neck. I leaned my head back, moaning softly.