The thought itself seemed dramatic and fantastical, but it also seemed true and real.
I blinked at Calder as he brought his head up and kissed my lips softly, moving over me once again. When he leaned away, the strained look on his face was so intense I tilted my hips upward, offering myself to him.
My heart squeezed with love. Tonight, I was giving him my body, but he already owned my heart and soul. I wanted to belong to this beautiful man in my arms in every way possible. And I wanted him to belong to me.
"I love you, Eden," Calder said, before taking himself in his hand and guiding his hard shaft to my wet opening. His eyes held mine as he pushed slowly inside me. His lips parted, his lids dropped for just a brief moment. I closed my eyes, too, as he pushed farther. I felt overly filled, too tight to accommodate his size, and I grimaced slightly, willing my body to relax. Calder halted and my eyes flew open.
"No, please don't stop," I said.
"I'm hurting you," Calder said breathlessly.
I shook my head from side to side. "Just this time. The next time won't hurt at all. Or the time after that . . . or—"
Calder stared down at me for a beat and then grinned, the smile stunning me in its sudden beauty. "Morning Glory," he murmured, his face going serious as he leaned down and kissed me softly. Then in one stroke, he plunged all the way into me, and I broke from his mouth and arched my body back, crying out at the stab of burning, tearing pain. Calder paused for just a second before he began moving inside me very slowly, groaning into my neck. "I'm so sorry. You feel so good," he panted out, "so good."
I looked up at the night sky as Calder stroked in and out of me. The stinging sensation remained. For a few minutes, I still felt too full, too stretched, but that began to abate enough that I was able to focus on Calder above me. I stroked my hands over his smooth back, down to his firm backside, the muscles contracting as he worked his body into mine.
I knew the blissful thing that washed over me when he touched me with his fingers wasn't going to happen again, but I gloried in the feeling of his flexing muscles and the look of pleasure in his expression. He began moving faster and with less finesse. I saw the war in his face between being gentle with me and moving as his body was telling him to. I was intoxicated with the knowledge I was doing that to him; he had lost all control because of me. I encouraged it, grabbing his backside and pushing him into me at the pace I could tell he was barely holding back from. His eyes flared and then closed, and I wrapped my legs around his hips, bringing my hands up to his arms to feel those flexing muscles as he held his weight over me.
Calder leaned forward, brought his mouth to mine, and moved his tongue in my mouth to the same rhythm our bodies moved together. I felt a small spark as his chest rubbed against my nipples and relaxed completely into him, moaning into his mouth. Calder groaned back and then his thrusts grew jerky as he let out an exhalation of breath with each one. And then suddenly, he pulled out of me and I cried out softly at the unexpected loss of him.
I felt something hot and wet on my belly and Calder groaned into the side of my neck, repeating my name again and again.
I ran my hands up and down his back as we just lay there, content to stay forever in that moment, me and him, our limbs tangled together, our hearts beating as one. It had been everything I'd dreamed and more. A spike of sympathy ran through me for Hailey, for any woman who didn't experience the beauty I had just experienced with Calder.
He shifted his weight to the blanket next to me and leaned up and gazed down at my face. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, leaning down and kissing both eyelids, and then my nose, and finally my lips as I smiled and sighed out in happiness.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
I nodded my head. "Better than okay. Perfect." I smiled. "The rest of them can have Elysium. I'll take this night."
Calder smiled and breathed out.
"Really," I said, bringing my hand up to his hair and running my fingers through it, "you didn't hurt me."
"Well, you destroyed me," Calder said, smiling. "I'll never be the same." Calder's face was generally carefree, but there were times like now where he would tilt his head, his eyes would close slightly, and a small crease would form on his forehead. I thought of this as his serious face. He gazed at me with that wistful, serious expression now, but it was so tender my heart felt tight in my chest. This man owns my heart.
Calder rolled to the side and we both lay there, staring up at the sky, the warm breeze blowing across our skin, and the wetness on my belly growing cool.
I reached my hand down and touched the sticky substance and then leaned up to look at it, rubbing it between my fingertips.