Becoming Calder(24)

Don't, Calder. Don't even think about it.

No, thoughts like that about Eden were a very bad idea. She was off limits in the biggest way possible, and I needed to remember that. It would have been for the best if I had ended our exchange and never looked her way again. But the desire to be close to her was too hard to resist. I could be punished severely, but maybe it would be worth it. I struggled to think pure thoughts around her, but her beauty . . . Stop, Calder. Don't think about sex when she's about to arrive.

I picked up the small bouquet of flowers I had brought for her and placed them on the rock, thinking of that day so long ago when she had bravely marched out onto our game field with hope in her eyes.

Morning glory. As pretty as a flower, as strong as a weed.

I had loved our game through the years. To me it was an adventure, a secret. I had even used some morning glory seeds to plant a small bush at the edge of the field where I worked. It had been true what I said about morning glories being stronger than they looked. That bush worked to take over, but I kept it small and contained, just big enough to easily provide me with the blue flowers I left for Eden as regularly as possible.

"Hi," I heard behind me and smiled before I had fully turned around.

"Happy birthday," I said, walking over to her and taking her hand as she smiled and followed me.

"My portrait?" she asked. "I'm a little nervous. One of Mother Hailey's boys drew me last week and I looked like a squash with eyes." She laughed.

"I'd like to think my skills surpass his." I winked.

"Oh, yours definitely do. What I'm more worried about is I actually do look like a squash and your skilled portrait will confirm it."

I laughed as I placed both hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was leaning back against the rock. "You? A squash?" She laid back so I was now over her. I walked closer and moved her hair the way I wanted it. Our eyes locked and suddenly we both went serious. "Not even close," I whispered.

She remained still, her lips parting as her eyes went to my mouth like she had done the other day.

Oh, Eden, don't do that. Don't let me know you want to be kissed.

I leaned up quickly and turned to my supplies.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked, not turning around, clearing my throat. I took a deep breath and willed my body to settle down, too.

"Yes, I'm fine."

I sat down on a rock a few feet away, put my drawing pad on my lap, and began to trace her outline. Primal thoughts and urges coursed through me as my eyes moved back and forth between her body and my pencil. I halted and breathed out. Get a hold of yourself.

"So, what's our lesson today?" she asked quietly.

"Our lesson? Oh, lesson, right. Uh, more math?"

"No, I'll keep working on my addition and subtraction in my room in the evenings. How about some science today?"

My pencil kept moving. Once I got started, it was almost as if my hand took over. I barely had to think about what I was drawing.

I tried to remember back to what I had learned when I was eight, about the age Eden would have been when she came here. "Do you know the states of matter?"

"No."

"Okay, we'll talk about those today and whatever else I can remember from first year science. I figure . . . well, I figure anything I can't remember probably isn't that important anyway. Or at least, it's not that applicable to life." I laughed softly and she smiled back at me, but then she went serious and sighed.

"What is applicable to life, Calder? Maybe Hector's right. If we're all going to go to Elysium soon enough, why should I bother learning about this world and how it works?"

My pencil kept working as I thought about that. "Remember what I told you about the morning glory that day?" I glanced up and she nodded at me. "I learned about them in an agriculture class field workers had to take." I glanced up at her, my eyes taking in the shape of her parted lips as I traced them on the paper. My heartbeat quickened. I imagined it was my finger, not the pencil, tracing those ripe lips. It felt intimate and personal. I cleared my throat. "Anyway, what if I hadn't known that detail that day? That knowledge resulted in years of butterscotch candy for me." I looked up at her and winked and she laughed softly, a blush moving up her face.

I looked down at my paper again and drew quietly for a minute. "My point is, you never know when a small piece of knowledge is going to come in handy or maybe . . . maybe even change your life. I think you should try to take in as much of it as possible. No one should ever stop you from gaining knowledge if you want it."

She was quiet for a minute. "Thank you, Calder."

"For what? This is an even trade. I'm benefitting here, too."