Because of Lila(52)

"Cruz!" Lila's voice stopped him. I looked over his shoulder to see her standing there. So innocent and sweet. This madman she was in love with didn't match up well at all.


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He paused then turned to her. "Lila."

The tears in her eyes weren't falling yet, but they were there. Unshed.

"What are you doing?" she asked sounding like a teacher put out with an unruly student.

"I love you," he said.

Her tears broke free then. "I heard."

They stood there staring at each other. I walked around them and back upstairs to get my things. I didn't belong here. Not now.





Cruz Kerrington

FIGHTING THIS WAS impossible. I'd tried. I had tried so damn hard. But I couldn't. Was I good enough for Lila Kate? No. Did she know all my dark secrets? No. Would she love me if she knew? Probably not. She'd hate me. I didn't want her to hate me.

She turned and grabbed Eli's arm as he came back downstairs with his bag. His staying the night here had been the last straw. I'd cracked. My chest exploding would have hurt less than seeing her with him last night. Eating fucking ice cream, walking around town like a couple. I couldn't stomach it. I knew after that I had to do something.

"Just let me talk to him. You don't have to go," she said to Eli.

"Yeah, he does," I argued.

She frowned at me. "No, he doesn't."

"Yes, I do," he said saving me from having to argue with her. Because his ass needed to go back to fucking Alabama and stay there. "This," he said pointing between Lila Kate and me. "This needs resolving. I'm in the way, and honestly, I don't want to watch any more of the train wreck."

I took a step toward him my hands balling into fists. Lila Kate was in front of me before I could take two steps. Both her hands on my chest. "Cruz. Don't. Just go upstairs. Please."

Her big beautiful eyes were telling me to go upstairs . . . to her apartment. That meant I wasn't the one leaving. So I backed away and nodded.

"Thank you," she whispered as if he couldn't hear her.

"Don't touch her," I warned him making sure he understood I'd find his ass. I'd track him down and make sure neither of his hands worked again.

"Cruz, please," Lila Kate begged.

I turned and walked to the back door only glancing back once.

"I'm sorry about all this," she told him. "I never expected him to come here."

"But you're glad he did," Eli replied.

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

I left them. She wanted me. She wasn't begging him to stay. Proclaiming she loved him. Crying over him. I hadn't lost her yet. It wasn't too late for us. I would worry about my secrets later. The shit I still had to end. Deal with. I'd handle it. For now, I just needed Lila Kate. 

The smell of bacon filled the apartment when I reached the top stair. The large area was a great space. Open, roomy, and Lila Kate had put her touch on it. I smiled at all the reds and yellows. She loved bright colors. Somehow, she made colors that I normally wouldn't care for attractive.

There were pancakes on the bar along with blueberries and bacon. She had made him breakfast. Jealousy ate at me. The only thing keeping me sane was the fact the sofa bed was out and used. They hadn't slept together. The idea of them wrapped up together last night had been what sent me to drinking. At one point, I'd drunk enough that I'd passed out. Only slept three hours before I was awake again tortured over the idea of them together.

I picked up a piece of bacon and ate it, then went to see if there was milk in the fridge. I was hungry. I hadn't eaten all night, and the more I thought about Lila Kate cooking all this for Eli, the more I wanted to eat it. Take what he thought was his. It was mine first, dammit.

"I can't keep doing this with you, Cruz," Lila Kate said the moment she entered the apartment. She wasn't crying anymore. She was more intense. Serious. "This is messing with my head. I'm a wreck. That guy you just ran off is a good guy. He's sweet and kind. He likes me. He doesn't need women everywhere to fawn over him to make him feel like a man. He is perfect. Completely perfect. So why is it that the moment you show up I forget all that? Why can't you see that this is ruining me? This back and forth." Her hands were on her hips, and she was keeping her distance. I wanted her here with me. Eating this food. Smiling at me. Up on this bar with her legs spread while I fucked her. There was a lot I wanted from her. But only one thing was important.

"Do you love me?" I asked her. It was simple. It was what I needed to know.