Because of Lila(47)

His gaze swung to me. He hadn't heard me come in. "Hey."

I didn't respond to that. I just continued silently stare at him.

"About what you saw," he began and I held up a hand to stop him.

"Don't. Please don't come in here and act like you have to explain anything to me. I think I made myself clear at your house. We had closure. It's done. I have painting to do. If you'll excuse me." I walked over to the paint and roller I had left earlier hoping he'd just turn and leave.

"If you've got your fucking closure why did your eyes look so damn hurt? Tell me that, Lila. Tell me why those eyes of yours took my goddamn breath away? Because it sure as hell wasn't fucking closure I saw in them."

I paused and took a deep breath. He was right. But I wasn't going to admit it. "Still just fresh. I'll be over it soon enough."

"When you figure out how to get over it could you fucking tell me how? Because God knows I need help myself."

I couldn't let him get to me. I couldn't let his words make me weak or think I could ever trust him. That we could ever have anything.

"You were doing just fine," I shot back bending to get the roller and take the top off the paint can. 

"Lila, look at me. Jesus, just fucking look at me. Tell me if this looks like a guy who is over it? You saw me flirt. I have been flirting since I was old enough to walk. It means nothing. It's just how I react to women who are flirting with me."

I laughed then shook my head. "Whatever. I do not care. Just go."

He stood there. Not speaking and not moving. I tried to focus on my painting, but it was hard with his eyes watching me. I waited for him to say something more. If he'd just leave this would eventually go away. All of it. I'd gotten a taste. Knew what it felt like and was ready to put it behind me.

"If you didn't care then we could sit down, chat, have a beer. We can't do that, Lila. So yes, you care."

He was right. I hated him being right. If I didn't care there would be no emotion. I'd be fine with a visit. I wouldn't be demanding he leave. I dropped my hands to my side and turned back to face him.

"You're right. I care. But I want to not care. I want to forget it all happened. I want to forget you." The words although they were true sounded much colder and harsher when said aloud. I almost retracted them but I stopped myself. He'd hurt me. If that hurt him then good.

"I don't want to forget," his voice was deep and almost pained. I started to say something to smooth it over but he did as I asked then. He turned and left. After the door closed behind him, the place was once silent again. And I was alone once again.





Eli Hardy

THE SMELL OF fresh paint met me as I walked into the building that would be Lila's dance studio. It was a pale shade of blue, and the unpainted ceiling would soon look like the morning sky. She had told me about an artist she had coming in to paint it. There was still a lot to be done, but I was happy for her. She was so excited when she talked about her plans. I listened to her for over an hour last night. When she'd realized how long she'd been talking to me about it, she'd apologized. It had been cute.

Not one time in my life had someone made me forget Bliss. There was always an ache in my chest when I thought of her. Until now. That was gone. I knew why. Lila had become important to me. She had been so damn adorable that I couldn't think about anyone else. Bliss was what she should have always been to me now-a friend. A very good friend who I cared about but I could honestly say I was no longer in love with my best friend. I was happy Bliss had found Nate and that her life was full of joy.

I pulled my duffle bag up over my shoulder and headed across the large room toward the one door in the back. She had said to take that door and head straight up the stairs. Tonight she was cooking for the first time in her kitchen and she hadn't wanted to leave the food unattended, so she'd left the doors unlocked for me.

The paint smell disappeared when the heavy door closed behind me. I started up the stairs. I could smell garlic sautéing before I was halfway there.

"Eli?" Lila called out.

"Yep!" I replied.

I heard the tap of her feet as she walked in my direction. When I reached the top of the stairs she was there to greet me. She was breathtaking. Damn, it was good to be here.

"You're here!" she said grinning at me as if I wouldn't show up. Then she waved her hand out and spun around. "This is it. What do you think?"

The space was the ultimate bachelor pad. Lila had added a lot of soft yet colorful female touches to subdue its masculinity. However, the industrial look with the exposed beams had to have been designed with a man in mind. Nothing fancy. Just wide open and durable.