“I can understand that. Just seems like maybe we should hear them out.”
“I used to think that way too. People like us are drawn to them, even though our common sense tells us it’s not a good idea.”
“People like us?” she asked.
I knew what he was going to say before he said it, and I knew Josephine knew as well. But maybe it just needed to be said. Like everything else in the world, once it was said, it could never be taken back.
“Dark shifters, Josephine.”
“How...how do you know I’m a dark shifter?”
I wanted to go to her then. Do something. Tell her I understood even though I didn’t. Tell her it was going to be all right. We were together. Dark and Light. But I stayed right inside of the tent, afraid of what admitting these things would mean for not only her but me as well.
“Aren’t you, Josephine?”
Such a damn, simple question.
“Yes,” she whispered, her voice lonely among the sound of the waves.
I knew she was thinking of the blood forever on her hands. The things she did to protect us both. How only coveting the darkness could she fight to keep us alive. I vowed something in that moment—I vowed to be a better friend to her. I vowed to be brave for us in the world I could fight for us in. Even if that world was seemingly far less dangerous.
“The second time we shifted, I killed a man,” Josephine admitted.
“And you would have killed me if you felt like you needed to do so,” Bentham added.
“Yes. I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Does it make me evil that I want to live?” she asked.
“No. I don’t think it’s about wanting to survive. I think it’s what we’re willing to do in order to survive that marks us as different.”
“Why mark us at all. Why dark? Why light?”
I crept closer to the mouth of the tent. This was it.
He let free a sigh. “Because at some point they’ll fight to save the world, and at some point we’ll want it to end. Our only hope is that they’ll be able to convince us that we’re wrong.”
They didn’t talk for awhile after that. As I lay back down, I began to think about his words. What would make Josephine want the world to end? I knew her life wasn’t perfect, but could it be so bad she’d rather have no life at all? If it came to that, how the hell could I convince a girl who I wasn’t even sure liked me that she needed to fight alongside of me?
“Why pair us at all?” Josephine finally asked, tearing me from the sleep that had slowly began to overtake me.
“Not sure. Randall was my anger management counselor before all this happened. I got in trouble at school a lot, got kicked out. Randall tried to get me back on the right path. We’re sitting in the middle of a session one day, talking about counting to ten and all that shit, when we shifted. I spent a lot of time since then wondering why we’re paired together. I realized he was the only person who even pretended to give a crap.”
“You two seem close,” said Josephine.
“I’d die for him,” Bentham replied simply.
“I think he’d die for you too.”
“What about you? Is Logan like your boyfriend or something?”
It was Josephine’s turn to laugh. “No. Can’t say I’m his type. No. He’s...well, he used to make my life a living hell to be honest.”
Over dramatic much?
“What do you mean?”
“He kind of bullied me. Came up with a nickname and everything.”
“Sounds like a great guy.”
She could defend me at any moment. I waited for it.
“And what’s his type of girl?” Bentham asked.
“You know...blonde, perky boobs, pom-poms. I mean, she’s nice and everything, but he’s settling. And he’s happy to settle.”
“He’s young. Give him a break.”
I didn’t like Bentham standing up for me. Besides, by saying it, he was implying he wasn’t so young, so naive. He was running his game on her. He was good.
“I know,” she replied. “And he’s not exactly the kid I grew up with anymore. There’s more to him. Though I can’t exactly say we’ll ever be as close as you two...”
“Well, you’re paired for a reason. Give it some time and you’ll find out why.”
“You know...”
The sound of Randall’s whisper nearly caused me to jump out of my skin. Now that I knew that was possible, thanks to the super sickness, the saying didn’t seem so clichéd. How long had the man been awake?
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he continued whispering.
“It’s fine,” I whispered, lying back down. I certainly wasn’t going to be able to continue eavesdropping with Randall awake.