“Abe—”
“Don’t. I was wrong to come after you. This was a mistake.”
“A mistake? What are you saying? What are you doing? You didn’t hurt me! It’s your blood on my legs and on the sheet. It came off your hands when you were trashing the place. I was scared. You woke up and just started tearing the room apart, and I couldn’t get you to stop. Please, Abe.”
I look up and see the tears running down her face. She looks so beautiful, yet so broken. I can’t do this to her again. I don’t know how much I hurt her this time, but I can’t risk going there again. I was selfish for trying to get her back. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why would I do this to the one person on this goddamn earth I love more than anything? More than my own fucked-up life. I would do anything for her, but I can’t stay. I need to really free her from me. She needs to move on from me, forget she even knew me. Maybe I even need her to hate me. That would make it easier for her. Words my brain are telling me to say but my heart don't mean pour from my mouth, knowing it’s for the best.
“Our marriage was a mistake. The dream I had of us and babies and forever, it was all a mistake. It’s over, Julie. I’m not the man you met, and I’ve been pretending ever since I got back that I’m not some goddamn monster.”
“Abraham, please, please don’t do this. Don’t do this to me again. Please don’t push me away. I’m your wife. We can work through this together. We can get you help.”
“I tried that!” I scream. “I tried every fucking thing there was and it didn’t work. It’s over, Julie. I’m not your husband and you’re not my wife. We don’t get a happily ever after. Our story ends here.”
She runs to me and tries to hold on to me, but I grab my bag, step back, and throw my hands up. “Don’t touch me, Julie. I’m nothing but poison. You were always too fucking good for me.”
I turn around and walk out of the room without looking back. But before the door slams shut, I hear the sobs ripping from her chest. I hear every sound of her hitting the floor, wailing for me to come back to her. I hear her heart break in two, and I know in that moment, I’ll have all-new nightmares for the rest of my life.
Chapter Sixteen
JULIE
The next day
It took me four hours of talking to the cops to convince them that my husband—who left me on our wedding night—was the one who trashed the room, but that I didn’t want to report it as a crime or press any charges. I had to call my parents and get them to pay for the damages to the room before they would let me leave the police station since my credit card didn’t cover the costs.
Apparently, someone heard what happened. That, combined with my crying, led them to call the manager of the hotel, who then showed up to find me in my situation. Luckily, I don’t remember much.
I’m like a fucking zombie, on auto pilot, and as soon as the cab pulls up outside my parents’ house, they’re there with open arms to help me to my room.
Once I hit the bed, I don’t move.
For three months.
Chapter Seventeen
JULIE
February 2013
“Please, Lucias, I need to see him.”
“Goddamn it, Julie, you don’t know what this does to him. Every time you show up, it takes us weeks to get him out of a bottle. Whenever you show up at the club and ask to see him, he loses it, even if he never lays eyes on you. You can’t keep doing this to each other. You have to let him go.”
“I just…” I try to find the words, but I know he’s right. Abe is a lost cause, but I wish someone would tell that to my heart. This is the third time in two months I’ve tried to get him to see me. But every time, it’s like this. “I just thought seeing him would help.”
“It doesn’t. You need to go, and don’t come back. If you love him, you’ll leave him be.”
I nod my head, knowing it’s the right thing for both of us. As much as this kills me, knowing he’s hurting more because I’m here makes it worse. If letting Abe go is the only thing I can do, then that’s what I’ll do.
Chapter Eighteen
JULIE
Over 2 years later — May 2015
Taking a job at a strip club really isn’t all that bad. I’ve got a college degree, but this weekend gig pays more in two days than my accounting job pays in a month. Sure there are some shady deals that go on, but I keep my nose clean, my head down, and rake in the cash. All I have to do is smile at the right people, and my wallet gets stacked.
This isn’t how I pictured my life turning out but, hey, no one’s life is a fairy tale.