Beauty and the Bachelor(13)

"Sydney." Her father stepped forward, and at the same time, Lucas edged  closer, his lean hip pressing against hers. Jason paused, his gaze  intercepting the small movement. Surprise erased the burgeoning anger,  but only for a moment. "Sydney," he repeated, the soft note a warning.  "What is going on here?"

She forced a calmness into her voice that belied the chaotic storm  twisting in her head like a late summer storm. "Dad, Lucas has asked me  to marry him. And I-" She paused, the pounding of her heart momentarily  halting her breath. Then the hand on her back moved, smoothed down her  arm. His big palm pressed against hers, his fingers tangled with hers. A  show of support? Or a feigned act of affection for her father's sake?  At this moment, she didn't care. She curled her fingers, holding tight.  "And I accepted his proposal," she continued.

Jason's eyes widened, his lips slackened, shock bleeding the color from  his complexion, leaving a waxy pallor behind. Alarmed, she loosed  Lucas's grip and moved forward, arm outstretched. Jesus, what had she  done? "Dad … "

His palm slammed up, halting her mid-step as if an invisible wall had  sprung up between them. Slowly, his astonishment faded. Crimson bloomed  under his skin, mottling his smooth brown skin. A white line outlined  the thin, hard line of his mouth like the garish, smudged lipstick of a  faded beauty queen.

"Tell me this is a joke, Sydney," he snapped. "Or a pathetic bid for attention."

She flinched as his words slapped at her. A bid for attention. As if she  were five instead of twenty-five. Inhaling a deep breath, she tucked  the throbbing pain and resentment in a pocket of her heart. The same  pocket where she'd hidden the hurt, bitterness, and guilt from similar  remarks over the years. The compartment was close to bursting at the  seams.         

     



 

"It's not a joke, Dad," she murmured. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he bit out. "Sorry? Do you have any idea what you're doing?  What you're doing to me, to your mother? Think what this will do to our  reputation. You can't just toss aside Tyler Reinhold. You were lucky he  showed interest in you in the first place, much less proposed marriage."

A brilliant starburst of pain exploded in her chest. She stared at her  father, his rage beating against her skin like crashing waves of heat.  Inside herself, she curled into a fetal position, blocking her  vulnerable organs from another emotional kick. On the outside, though,  she squared her shoulders, notched her chin up. Bracing herself for the  next punch of his anger, for his verbal jabs.

"I disagree." The cold, hard objection came a second before an  unyielding wall of muscle supported her shoulders and spine. Firm hands  bracketed her hips, holding her steady. "Reinhold was fortunate. He had  Sydney-beautiful, intelligent, kind, loyal Sydney. Your daughter. And  when she decided to share her life with him, he should've been down on  his knees thanking her and God, because in that moment he became the  luckiest man on earth. Just like I felt when she agreed to be mine."

Beautiful, intelligent, kind, loyal. Lies, lies, lies, her reason blared  like a foghorn on a dark, overcast night. All for the benefit of the  ruse. But her heart-her heart that had been nicked and bruised by  neglect, low self-esteem, and guilt-soaked up his words, gorged on them  like a person feasting after a long trek through an arid, barren  wasteland.

"You've known her for five minutes, and you assume to tell me who my daughter is?"

"Yes," Lucas stated, voice flat, definite. "Because it's obvious if you  can make a comment denigrating her worth, her value, then you don't know  her at all."

Jason winced-or maybe it was her imagination. A hallucination caused by  her desperation to find acceptance in her father's grim, forbidding  expression. "If you believe you'll get your hands on my wealth and  connections through my daughter, you're sorely mistaken. I'll cut her  off, disown her if she goes through with this"-he waved a hand back and  forth between her and Lucas-"this farce."

"I don't need your money," Lucas replied. "And neither will Sydney. But she does need you and your wife."

Jason's gaze cut to her, and the derision and disappointment there  scored her. She hadn't glimpsed such animosity and helplessness  since … since Jay.

"Daddy," she whispered, her throat tightening around the last syllable.  It had been years since she'd called him that. Years since he'd been her  laughing, loving daddy instead of distant, cold Dad. Only desperation  had squeezed the more intimate name from her lips. I'm doing this for  him. I'm saving his business, guaranteeing his freedom. Even if he can't  stand the sight of me after this. "I know this sounds crazy and  irresponsible to you. And Lucas is right. I don't want to lose you or  Mom." She spread her hands wide, palms up as if they contained the  answers she couldn't supply him. "But I don't love Tyler, and spending  the rest of my life in a loveless marriage would ultimately make both of  us miserable. He deserves to be with a woman who can give him all of  herself. He deserves to be happy. If I went through with the marriage,  neither one of us would be."

Truth rang in her words and resonated in her spirit. Just a few days  ago, she'd been content with the life set before her. Passionless but  stable. Predictable but dependable. Loveless but respectful. While she'd  been ready to consign herself to that life, had Tyler? Or one day,  would he wake up and realize she wasn't enough? She wasn't pretty  enough, witty enough, accomplished enough. And would that be the day he  sought out other women? Like her father had. And would that also be the  day she became the reflection of her mother? An exquisitely coiffed,  composed mannequin on the outside while seething with humiliation, hurt,  and rejection on the inside? Filling the emotional holes in her life  with committees, fund-raising, and parties? Sydney had agreed to marry  Tyler to avoid her parents' fate … and had started the gilded road to that  exact destination.

Not that she would find peace or a happily ever after with Lucas. But  after their year together lapsed, she would be free-free of the  strangling noose of family obligations, societal expectations, social  condemnation, and guilt. The awful albatross of guilt.

Even without her father's support or the financial settlement Lucas had  offered her, she would survive. She possessed money of her own, thanks  to the inheritance from her maternal grandmother three years earlier.  She could live her life the way she desired. The way she dreamed. She  could return to school for a degree in education. Spend more time at the  youth center. Discover who Sydney Blake truly was.         

     



 

And love her.

For a second-a blip in time-her father's expression softened. But the  seed of hope didn't take root before his eyes and mouth hardened. Maybe  it'd been her need for his love and approval that had her imagining the  compassion she'd glimpsed. Ecstasy had nothing on desperation when it  came to creating hallucinations.

"Have you told Tyler yet?" her father demanded.

"No. I wanted to speak with you first."

"Good." Jason nodded sharply. "Then we can forget this foolishness, and  Tyler won't have to know about any of it." He clapped his hands together  and turned away as if his proclamation settled the matter. And she  couldn't blame him. In the past, his final word would've been just  that-the final word. She would've caved and obeyed like the perfect,  dutiful daughter.

But not this time. She couldn't. His freedom depended on her disappointing him.

"I'm sorry, Dad." Her apology halted him mid-turn. Slowly, like a  wind-up toy, he pivoted, facing her again. Grief and regret swamped her,  dragging her under its suffocating tide. "I can't," she rasped.

His eyebrows arched high, surprise flaring in his eyes before they  narrowed. "Sydney, if you go through with this engagement and marriage,  you're choosing him"-he jerked his chin toward Lucas, who stood quietly  behind her-"over your family. Think very carefully about your next words  to me."

Part of her wanted to scream like a banshee on a battlefield. I already  chose you. The cry ricocheted against the walls of her mind. Instead she  remained silent.

"So you've made your decision," Jason said, his voice a harsh whip  across her heart. "Where should I have your belongings delivered?"

"Dad, I-"

"No. You aren't welcome in the home I've provided for twenty-five years.  We have nothing more to say to each other if your next words aren't  you've changed your mind about going through with this silliness and  will honor your commitment with Tyler. Loyalty, Sydney. I believed I'd  taught you family loyalty, but it appears you learned nothing. When you  come to your senses and realize we are more important than a man you've  just met and know nothing about, then you can return home. Until then,  all I want to hear from you is an address."