“That sounds amazing, actually,” he says, and I know I’ve won him over with my words, but he becomes serious again.
“Fate. I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” I say without thinking. Nothing comes to mind that I wouldn’t be able to promise this man.
“If you ever find yourself in a situation with me like when I went after Dex, I need you to stay back.” My heart sinks because when this went down all I could think about was getting to him.
“But if something like that happens the only thing that makes it better is you.”
“You have no fricking idea what that does to me. To know you are taking those damn walls down brick by brick, not just for you but for me.”
“You don’t get lost in my darkness,” I say truthfully because he doesn’t. Maybe because he doesn’t know all the facts, but my history doesn’t taint him the way it has others in my life.
“I will always find you,” Cameron declares.
“I promise that I will not intentionally put myself in danger, but I won’t make a promise I can’t keep. When things like that happen, my body, my heart, goes to where it feels safe. That will always be you.” He is shocked by my response.
“That’s all I can ever ask of you. I can’t say I don’t understand because nothing feels better in times of pure shit than having you in my arms.” He pulls me to him and embraces me tightly. Moving my hair to the side with his finger, he bends down, whispering in my ear. “Sometimes my rage can blind me. Especially when it comes to someone hurting you. In that moment, stay back. Get Scott. Don’t get close. I would never hurt you on purpose, but that doesn’t mean the other person wouldn’t. If something happened to you I’d be done. There’d be no coming back for me. My fate would be over.” Tears fall from my eyes at his love.
“Cameron, you really are too good to be true,” I whisper back to him. “Never leave,” I say, showing all my vulnerabilities.
“That will never fucking happen, babe. I would have to be dead to be away from you and even then I’d be with you.” This man is far too beautiful for a girl like me. Not just physically. No one can ever tell me this man is not the most amazing person I have ever met. He always puts me above him. He is tender and takes joy in our baby steps. Thinking of a world without that is something I too could not handle.
“Don’t say that. I can’t think about something happening to you. It hurts my heart. We are just going to have a beautiful life, McAlister,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
“McKenzie, I know we will.” Nothing sounds better than a life with Cameron.
We decide to get some studying in while we still have time. After an hour, I’m already over it. I can’t absorb anything else. That happens sometimes when he is so close. Looking at my phone, I remember. Crap.
“Can I use your phone? Mine is dead and I forgot to call Clarissa,” I ask because I know she’s going to be upset. This isn’t the first time our moments have led me to forgetting to call her. I can’t help it. Cameron takes me away from this world. Into our own little one where I feel safe.
“Sure, it’s in my room. I’m going to take a shower. Tell Clarissa I said hello and not to work so hard,” he says jokingly, and I laugh too, telling him I will.
Clarissa isn’t as annoyed as I thought she would be. She says she was out with friends, but I think she might have met someone and just doesn’t want to tell me yet. I don’t want her to be alone. She deserves to be happy and feel all of what I feel with Cameron. She starts telling me she has found a new house that she has fallen in love with.
“You will love it. I can’t wait for you to see your room.” Looking around Cameron’s room, I feel like I’m in my room already. Sleeping in here with him has become a nightly routine for me. I’ve had no issues and he’s continuously telling me we can take back steps if we need to. That’s not going to happen. I can’t explain the happiness I feel when I’m lying with him at night.
Something catches my eye and I see one of the notebooks I made him for Christmas sitting out. I can’t help but turn the page and when I do my mouth drops open at all the scribbling of lyrics. They all surround one thing, though. Me. My name is written all over the page.
Fate took me down.
Now is her time to finally shine.
She broke in and opened my world
I can finally show the world what is mine
She gave me forever in a day
She takes all that darkness and pain away
Love isn’t her word but she shows
I know come what may