“Okay, I’m gone before I screw up any more.” She waves and walks out the door without looking back at the awkwardness she leaves behind.
Fate just continues to stand there and all I can do is watch. I’m scared with any slight movement I will scare her off. “I should have knocked,” she blurts out.
“This is your home.” She needs to get her facts straight because I’m two seconds away from kicking her beautiful ass around our apartment. Then I see her eyes unable to look into mine. Fuck. I’m such an idiot. I never thought that maybe she was back for just school and not me. Shit, is she even back to stay? “Unless you’re not staying.” The words barely come out. I don’t know what I will do if she says she’s just here for her stuff.
“I don’t have to.” Her eyes look at the floor and it’s like all those months of progress went out the damn window, taking my Fate with them. Without Fate here I can’t stay. I might as well be the one to leave. At least I have other means to live somewhere else.
“If you don’t want to be around me, I will be the one to leave. I can’t ask you to give up the semester because this isn’t what you want or have you pay more money to live somewhere else. If you want to stay I will leave.” Her eyes snap up and look right at me.
“What are you talking about, Cameron?” God, it sounds so good to hear her say my name even if it’s only for now.
“You don’t want this, I get that. I can leave, it’s only right, I pursued you. You didn’t ask for any of this.” She puts her bag down on the table and just walks into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Well, that’s what I guessed. Turning around, I go to my room to get some shit together. I won’t hurt you anymore. If that’s why she looked the way she did in Orlando I won’t cause her that again. I will do whatever it takes to make sure she’s never in that much pain again even if it means having to endure that pain myself by walking away. I hear my door creak and I turn around. There is Fate in the kitty pajamas from the day I met her. That damn near wrecks me.
“What are you doing?” she asks and the hurt in her voice is like someone just stabbed her with a knife. “Oh.” She turns, but I instinctively grab her hand. When she turns back, I immediately let go and wait for her to continue. “I won’t be in your way. I don’t blame you for leaving, I was horrible to you. Unforgiveable actually. I wouldn’t want to be around me either.”
“What? Okay, wait a fucking second. I think we are so screwed up we don’t know what the hell is happening.” My mind is all confused I just have to be blunt and let the cards fall where they may.
“Got that right,” she says and almost laughs. My whole body jumps at that. She’s still in there. My Fate.
“I was packing some shit to go stay with Scott because I thought you wanted me to leave. That you didn’t want this.”
“I don’t,” she says, and I’m fucking done. This girl just pulled the plug on me. She must notice because she starts talking again. “No. I mean, I don’t want you to leave,” she corrects and I feel like I can breathe again.
“You don’t?” She shakes her head and I feel this charge building between us. Something has happened here. “What do you want?”
“You.”
I don’t even think. I just do. I’m tired of over thinking this shit. I just need to show her. She needs to feel this. All of it. That way there isn’t a question in that stubborn head of hers. I react the way my body has been begging me to since I saw her in these same fricking pajamas. I grab her, pushing her hard against the wall. We crash against it and she gasps. I don’t stop. My mouth crashes down on hers and she moans. Damn. My hands begin sliding up her arms and she doesn’t pull away. She’s meeting me step for step. Not missing a single fucking one.
When she opens her mouth slightly I go in and deepen the kiss. I feel her hands gripping my shirt as I continue with her still pressed up against the wall. Then she surprises me. She puts her arms around my shoulders and wraps her legs around my waist. My hands find her waist and I grip her tightly. I. Am. Never. Letting. Go.
Home. That’s all I feel right now and I’m not talking about the apartment. This girl is my fucking home. There will never be another one like her. There is no return for me from this. I’m all in and I hope to God she is too. When she starts pulling on my shirt, I know I have to stop this. I can’t push her. We need to keep with what was working because if I go too fast and she bails, that’s it for me. Game over.