“You’re not helping. I can’t live with a boy—”
“Man,” she chimes in.
“Fine. Man. I can’t live with a man and you know that. Maybe I could ask for a new roommate,” I say hopefully. “Or just give up and come home.”
“No, you can’t get a new roommate and no you aren’t coming home. I know I told you to, but I think you need to do this.” Well, that’s a change in attitude. “You can do this, Fate. Remember, you’re starting over. No one can see your scars unless you let them. It’s time to get out into the world. Just maybe this computer thought a guy was the way to go.”
“I will try, or hide in my room the whole semester. He gave me ear plugs, so either he snores or he’s a partier,” I say to Clarissa quietly so he doesn’t hear me gossiping about him.
“I should be concerned with you living so close to a man, but I know this is a struggle for you. Take the bull by the horns and ride it...” She pauses.
“Did you just—”
“No. Well, yes. I did say it, but I didn’t mean ride him! I may still see you as a child sometimes, but you’re an adult now and that’s something adults do. So I guess you may have those experiences.” She continued babbling, as she was uncomfortable with this conversation. “If you want to I guess you could do that. Ride that bull—”
“I am not going to ride him, Clarissa!” I yell.
Knock knock.
“Ride who, Fate?” Cameron says slyly from behind my door.
“Oh great, thanks, Clarissa, he heard me,” I say quietly into the phone.
“Oh goodness. Well, that will be an awkward thing to explain. Have fun with that, you can do this, I promise.” I say my goodbyes and decide now is as good a time as any to leave my room. Especially since I heard him go out the door. I grab my clothes and get my bathroom stuff together. Hopefully, I can get ready and be gone by the time he gets back. He…a man. Looking around, I see he’s made himself at home. He’s not messy, but he has a rather large flat screen and quite the Blu-ray collection.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I walk into the bathroom. I’m stunned when I run into something hard, causing me to open my eyes but still almost knocking me on my behind. Warm wet arms catch me before I hit the ground. I let out a groan and I look up to see him holding me with a smirk on his face. I’m unable to help my wandering eyes. I see that he has a large spiral tribal looking tattoo on the left side of his chest. I see some words but the only one that I can read is judge. He makes a small cough to let me know he’s caught me looking at him.
“If you wanted to join me you’re a little late, but...I could always get back in?” he says with a wicked grin on his face.
“I…oh…I mean…sorry…” I mumble.
“Fate, I’m kidding. I should have locked it. I’m just not used to having a roommate. I will try to remember from now on,” he says sincerely, but all I do is nod. It’s hard to concentrate as he still has his hands on me. It’s causing my body to panic at the closeness of someone else to me. Breathe, Fate.
I continue to try to calm myself but it’s no use. I pull myself out of his grip and turn to leave the bathroom. He grabs my wrist, and I just look at him. I’m sure he can see in my face that I’m barely holding it together. I pull away and walk to my room. Throwing on the desk everything that I had taken with me to the bathroom, I turn and lock the door. There’s only one thing I can do now…crawl under the blankets and hope the world swallows me up. He probably thinks I’m a freak. If only I could deny it. I am a freak. One who can’t be touched by others, among all the other issues I have. Maybe this is all too soon.
Knock knock. “Fate, I’m going to get something to eat for dinner. Do you want to come?” I hear such pity in his voice. This isn’t because he wants to. It is because he feels like he upset me.
“I’m just really tired. I’m going to take a nap.” I hear him shuffling at the door. The knob begins to jiggle and I know he’s trying to open the door. “Maybe another time,” I say, hoping this will appease him.
“Tomorrow, after all of our classes?” My heart picks up speed because I know I’m going to have to say yes. I can’t blow off my roommate.
“Screw it, world, I’m here,” I quietly repeat my mom’s words.
“What?” Oh crap, he heard me.
“Yeah, that sounds good. Tomorrow then.” What did I just get myself into? I hear him backing away from the door and my body begins to relax again. I hear the door shut, so I sneak to peek out my bedroom door. He seems to be gone. Grabbing my shower things, I make my way back to the bathroom. The door is open, so at least I know I won’t be having a run-in like earlier. Locking the door, I quickly take my shower and hustle back to my room before I run into Cameron again tonight. It’s still so bright out here and the city just seems to be starting its day. I get into my pajamas again and sit on my bed with my book. I feel my eyes getting heavy, I should have slept more today.