“I’m not sure that I won’t have nightmares or scream. I’ve never tried anything like this before,” I say truthfully, showing him my real weaknesses.
“Baby steps,” he repeats. “If you do have a nightmare, I will be right here to wake you up, and if it becomes too much, we try another route. Go get some pajamas on.”
Doing as he asks, I walk away, closing my door behind me. Once I’m dressed in my comfy kitty pajamas, I head out. There is a sheet on top of the couch and a pillow is set out for me. He is still holding the blanket, and I lie down on the couch as he watches me. “You and your damn kitties,” he says with a wink, and I can’t help the giggle that escapes me. Placing the blanket over me and tucking me in, he bends down and lightly kisses my hand the same way he did before. “Goodnight, Fate,” he says, and I want nothing more than for him to stay with me, but I have to try this alone.
Chapter Ten
Cameron
“Don’t, please.”
Waking, I hear Fate crying out and I jump out of bed, racing to the living room. I never thought that night with her in her bed screaming could be trumped, but man was I wrong. I see her twisting and struggling still asleep. She looks so damn distressed, this unbearable need to hold her comes over me. I did this. She trusted me and blew it. Bending down, I slowly bring my hand to hers and give it a small squeeze. “Fate,” I say and her eyes pop open. The fear is still very present in those broken blue eyes that have taken hold of me.
“Cameron,” she whispers and the sting of her pain is aching in me. Shit. I want to reach out to her, but I know it has to be her way. “Please,” she murmurs and I’m not sure what she is asking me for.
“What, Fate? What do you need? Anything, it’s yours.” Dammit, this girl is in pain because I thought I could get her past this piece of her past.
“You,” she says as if at any moment she’s going to be shattered to pieces. I watch as she reaches out and grabs my hand. I squeeze her gently, letting her know I am here for her in the only way I can.
“You never have to ask me for that. I’m sorry I pushed you to do this.” Her eyes are filled with sorrow and I want to beat the hell out of myself for putting her through this.
“It’s all about finding different ways. Maybe we could try something, I’m not sure if it will work, though.” She sounds so unsure I almost want to tell her to not even think about it, but at the same time I want to do anything to get her through this pain.
“What is it?” I ask and her eyes go to my bare chest before finding my eyes again.
“Maybe you could sit with me, but…” She takes a deep breath and I feel like I’m not even taking any at all. “First, I need you to put a shirt on,” she says and I can see a smirk trying to break free from her. Letting go of her hand, I go grab a shirt quickly, putting in on.
“Now what?” I say, looking at her with such uncertainty. She sits up and moves her pillow, then pats her hand on the couch. Following her direction, I sit on the couch next to her. Slowly, she puts the pillow down over my lap and begins to lie down on it. Her hands come to mine and brings them down to her. Holding them, she places them next to her face and just continues to squeeze them tightly within her grasp.
“You don’t have to stay this way if you don’t want to,” she says shyly.
“Fate, you really have no idea how much it means when you let me in, do you?” Her eyes bore into mine, causing me to feel bare before her.
“You don’t have to stay like this long, I just feel calm when I’m around you. I don’t want you to lose sleep.” Finally, she clues into the fact that it’s night and we have classes tomorrow. She goes to get up, but I hold our hands firmly so she can’t.
“I’m comfortable just like this. You talk as if you’re the only one who feels things when we are touching. Trust me, I’m right there with you.” Her mouth pops open in a ‘oh’ expression and I am finally realizing that someone has truly screwed with her. She doesn’t understand what a damn amazing person she is. The peace she brings me when I am touching her. “You’re not the only one with demons, Fate.”
Her head rests back down on the pillow that is situated on my lap and I feel her body let out a sigh. If my girl wasn’t so damn broken, I’d wrap myself around her and protect her from anything that tries to harm her. “I’d take it away if I could,” I slip out and I feel her tense.
“What happened to you, Cameron? What demons do you have?” I don’t want to say shit, but if I ever want this girl to let me know hers I’ve got to make the first move.