“Well, did you grow up under a rock or not read? He’s been in the tabloids for all the shit I’ve had to get him out of,” Scott says. “Oh, thank you, by the way. You’ve made my life pretty easy since school started. He’s staying out of trouble so keep it up, Fate,” Scott says with an appreciative smile.
“I’m from Florida so no, not under a rock, and I read all the time, just not about who’s who and all that nonsense. As for music, I don’t really listen to it. You could be a Rolling Stone and I wouldn’t really know. However, once I met Cameron I did look up all your lyrics, which by the way are incredible,” I say with such admiration. “They aren’t all about raising hell or what a beautiful thing love is. They are about life. I like that.”
“Well, that would be all Cameron. I help with the beats but all those words come from this little shit eater, if you can believe that,” Scott says and I am a little stunned. Reading about the band I did see that it comes from the lead man but that’s not an unusual thing to say to bring the music to a new level with the fans. It builds the persona of that individual. I see Cameron squirm under my gaze and I wonder why he appears so nervous.
“Well, I should get back to the apartment. Fate, do you want to walk back with me?” Cameron asks, and I nod in response. Sitting here with his friends, without him, makes me very uncomfortable. “You might as well give Cecilia your number or she is just going to hound me till I give it to her. Or she will show up raising hell at home,” he says and I have to admit when he says home it makes me ecstatic that this man’s home is where I live too.
“He’s right, so you might as well fork it over, Fate,” Cecilia says, giving me a wink. Quickly, I write it down and hand it to her. This girl is opposite of me. She seems to be able to pull things from me similar to Cameron. That’s a scary thought. Cameron points to the door, and I nod as we walk off together out of the building.
Once we arrive at the apartment, there is silence between us. I can sense that Cameron wants to say something and I’ve never really seen him this unsure of himself. “Cameron, what’s wrong?” I ask, worried I’ve done something wrong. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends. When Cecilia came over she didn’t really give me a chance to say no.”
“She has that effect on people. You didn’t embarrass me. Don’t worry, that could never happen. I was worried they’d say something to scare you off and you’d shut me out again,” he says with such honesty I feel as if I can see inside this man. He’s no longer a rock star but just a man.
“I have pretty much stalked you online, there isn’t much I don’t know. We all have a history. No judgment, remember…” I say as I walk to the couch and sit. Cameron follows me over and sits beside me.
“You are looking so tired. Beautiful but tired. How is the sleeping working out for you?” he says and I feel this urge to be brutally honest with him.
“It’s not going well at all. When I was back home I was homeschooled so I could work around my issues, but here I’m finding it difficult to get into a routine.” He looks at me with such sadness I feel my inner walls begin to shake and come down. Mentally, I reinforce them because if they come down, I don’t know if I will be able to put them back up. “Don’t worry, I’m beginning to figure it all out. I might try to work my schedule differently when I pick my next set of classes.”
Glancing away from me, Cameron is staring into the wall like it’s going to do something crazy. “I was wondering if maybe you’d be willing to let me try and help you.” I give him a look, asking him what he means, and he continues, “Well, your room seems to be an issue for you at night. So what if you keep the lights on and sleep in your bed at night?”
Shaking my head, I tell him the facts of my condition. “It’s my bed too, not just the dark,” I say plainly, hoping he won’t ask for the reasons behind my issues.
“Do you trust me?” he asks, and I hesitate. Do I trust Cameron? He hasn’t given me a reason to not trust him. Continuously he has worked with my limitations and never tries to push me into something I can’t handle. Nodding, I give him a tiny smile. He gets up and goes to his bedroom, coming out with a pillow and a blanket. I give him a questioning look as he goes around our common area, turning on every lamp. Looking outside, I can see that the darkness of night has taken over the skies. “These are for you,” he says as he hands me his blanket and pillow. “Since the dark and your bed are issues, let’s take them both off the table. The couch won’t be as comfortable, but it’s all about baby steps,” he says with a grin and my smile grows. “The lights will stay on all night. I will leave my door open and if you need me you can just call out to me.”