“Not really sure?” she rightfully questioned. “I get he’s ridiculously hot and all, and I can only imagine how sick the sex is, but you can’t screw twenty-four, seven. So what the hell do you two talk about? Owning a company and being stupidly rich seems relatively major to me.”
Good question.
“You’re right. I know. But he doesn’t talk about himself that much. He hasn’t really told me anything.” God, I sounded pathetic. Now I was the one who was nauseous.
“And there lies the problem, girlfriend. No communication.” Sierra wasn’t a lot of things, but blunt was not one of them.
Sierra left sometime in the late afternoon after we finalized the menu, spoke with the florist and picked out the favors. Her power of distraction worked to my advantage. I wasn’t wallowing. Completely. But, it didn’t stop me from checking my phone every five minutes. I was crawling into bed when the damn thing finally chimed.
Busy w Ash in NY.
Take Monday off. -CC
I stared at the mobile device in my hand, rereading his message. What happened to Xo? I was tempted to throw the damn thing across the room. All day I contemplated how I was going to react when he finally contacted me, but I wasn’t expecting blood-boiling rage. Beside myself. The tone of his text implied he wasn’t expecting a response back, as if he said everything he had to say. For real? Damn him. No, fuck him.
Yet all I wanted was him. I wanted us back. I wanted to feel the warmth of his arms around me. I wanted our intimacy.
I tugged the sheet up to my chin and shut my eyes. Too mad to cry. I cried enough. I cried a lifetime of tears. Control was stolen from me once before, there was no way I was allowing it again. Our relationship was not ending like this. He deserved my truth and I deserved his.
So I did take Monday off, but not because he told me to. I needed the pause. Technically it was the start of my new rotation and I called in sick. Instead of work, I ran until my legs felt like jelly and spent the rest of the day shopping, even though I didn’t need a thing. Chase had filled my wardrobe with enough new clothes to last several seasons. Instead I shopped for Sierra’s baby. And did I ever, enough to last her several seasons.
A text came in as I was paying for my coffee.
Gone for the week on business
Leaving after work. -CC
Where r u?
CC is obviously doing just fine without me.
I plopped down at a table outside of Starbucks and fiddled with my packages, pretending I wasn’t obsessively waiting or willing my phone to chime back. But there was no response. Nothing, that was it. Bullshit. He never mentioned a business trip, probably because it was never planned. Was he kidding me? He was treating me like a stranger. Maybe that’s exactly what we were. Strangers. Conveniently fucking.
Tuesday morning came way too early. Back in heels and trying to pull myself together, I stopped by Jorge’s cart and picked up a latte. Along with Chase, I hadn’t seen my personal Starbucks delivery since we got back from Wrangel. Not that I cared about losing the little luxury, I didn’t. It was a bit over the top to begin with, but I had to admit that his small gesture put a smile on my face every day. It showed he was thinking about me. It was stupid, but it made me feel ... special.
I went directly to my office to let the morning rush die down. Pediatrics was more laid back and I wasn’t responsible for rounding in the morning. I planned to hide out for a little bit before I met up with the new team.
“Hey! There you are. How’re you feeling?” Kate knocked and walked in, all smiles. “Where were you guys yesterday? Everything okay?”
“I called out sick, needed a mental health day.” It was the truth.
“What about Chase?”
I was confused. “What about Chase?”
“Well, just that it was weird that the on-call neurosurgeon covered his cases yesterday. Supposedly Chase, um … called in sick.” Kate needed to work on being subtle. “I assumed you two were together...” Her voice got quieter, until I almost couldn’t hear her.
I was totally unprepared for any “us” questions, so I attempted playing it off. “Why would you think that?” Then it hit me, hard. “Wait ... Chase wasn’t here yesterday?”
My mind reeled with questions, one in particular. I had read those damn texts a thousand times. There was no confusion. Gone for the week, leaving after work. He lied to me. Damn, he freaking ... lied. But why? I felt a sharp ache beneath my breastbone. An actual ache.
“Don’t be mad, but you know how Leanne has a huge mouth, right?”
I scrunched my eyes and grimaced.
“She kind of told all of us how you had to go home to testify at some trial and that ... Chase might have gone with you.” It sounded more like a question than a statement.