I gave him a questioning look. “What’s this?”
“It’s ours,” he said quietly.
I sat up a little bit, trying to absorb what he was telling me. “You want to live together?”
Chase made a throaty noise, a seriously sexy noise, and lifted the corners of his mouth. “That goes without saying, that’s already a done deal. Wherever we’re waking up together is where we live, as far as I’m concerned. Yeah, it would definitely be more convenient if all of our shit was at one place, but that’s your call, baby. If you want to keep your apartment or get a new one altogether or sleep in a different place every night, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s just an address, a technicality. The spot where your head is laying against my chest is where we live. Got me, Blue?”
What was I to say to that? I said nothing. I just stared in amazement.
“So I guess the answer to your question is yes, we live together, but this is something else.” He rubbed the key in my hand. “This is our peaceful place.”
I was confused. “I don’t understand?”
“I know how much you love Cape Cod and how it holds so many special memories for you, special memories for us.”
I knew exactly what he meant. We both laid a piece of our heartache to rest at that beach and found peace. For me, I buried the heartache from the loss of an unborn child and the loss of control over my life after it was stolen from me during that one stormy night. For Chase, he scattered his sister’s ashes and buried the guilt of one night’s choices that led to tragic events beyond his control.
“It’s our peaceful place and the place where you told me you love me. I want us to keep creating memories there ... I saw it behind us that morning on the beach when you went running. It’s perfect ... it’s ours. And I think you’re gonna love it.”
“A house?” I barely squeaked out past my swelling emotion. This was all too much to take in.
“Yeah, baby, a beach house. For us to go anytime we want to get away. And whenever you’re ready, because that’s your call too, I want us to get married on that beach, our spot. Truth, baby ... I will love you. Forever. Not a fucking second less. You with me, Blue?” That wasn’t really a question.
“Oh my god, Chase, I really don’t know what to say. This is ... you are ... amazing,” I cried. Hard.
“Morning, Dad, it’s me.”
“I know, babydoll.” He chuckled.
“Did I wake you? I know it’s early.”
“Nah, just having coffee.” Like father, like daughter. “Why are you up? Aren’t you off for Labor Day?”
“No, not anymore, the case manager on Chase’s team called in sick and my supervisor called to see if I could go in this morning for a little bit and help out.”
“Oh, okay, no big deal. Sharon and I can find our way to the airport later.”
“No chance, Dad, I’m still bringing you. There’s no way I’m letting you leave without one more big hug.”
“All right, babydoll. Sounds good.”
“I’ll call you when I’m leaving the hospital. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I took my seat next to our mildly sedated patient and squeezed his hand. I smiled under my mask, remembering what a complete nightmare I was the first time I stepped foot in the operating room. I had been queasy and sweating, staring at the sexiest grey eyes I’d ever seen. And now that sexy neurosurgeon was mine and reminded me often. Just a mere two months ago I was fading and hiding underneath everything bad that ever happened to me. It was my existence. Then one man came along and crushed the only existence I had known for three years and dug deep to see beneath my beautiful.
“Lili ... Lili.”
I snapped my head up. “Oh, sorry ... I didn’t hear you.”
The circulating nurse was standing right over me. “I could tell. You looked a million miles away. Dr. Colton said you should pick out the music ... and just so ya know, happy to have you back. It’s been real quiet since you switched services.”
“Really?” I smiled and walked over to turn on the iPod.
“Doll!” Guy called out, sounding genuinely happy to see me. He finished donning his gloves and did that spinny thing with the scrub nurse. Somehow it tied the gown up, but it looked more like a cheesy dance move.
“Hey Guy,” I said, relieved there was nothing awkward lingering between us. It was starting to feel like old times. Jack backed through the door at the same time.
“No wonder Colton’s in a great mood.” Guy approached the head of the table and started prepping the patient’s freshly shaved head. “Missed you on our service this month, doll.”