Beautiful Outlaw(14)

“I know who you are. Mamá called a little while ago and told me all about you. She said to take you to the mall with me.”

“The mall?”

The last thing I want to do is go shopping. If anything, I want to curl up in the bed and cry. I have questioned my decision to leave home, since the minute I told Jeremy the truth. I wonder if I should have stayed, remained where everything is familiar. At least with Marcus, I knew what to expect. I knew that my mother would be cared for. Now, I have no idea what is going on with my family.

I also feel unwanted and discarded by the one person that I was told I could trust. When Bowie walked out the door last night, I felt that regret for the first time. I regretted trusting him, thinking he would be everything my brother had said he would be. I shake my head, knowing I’m being petty. He did do as he promised. He brought me somewhere that I would feel safe. Somewhere, I’m sure Marcus would never think to look. Bowie didn’t disappoint me; I disappointed myself by forgetting that I had to depend on myself, not on some stranger. Even if that stranger was a handsome man that made me feel things I didn’t understand.

“Are you ready to go or what?” She asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Uhmm.. I don’t really want go anywhere today.”

She sticks out her bottom lip, giving me the perfect teenage pout. “I just got my permit, so I can’t drive by myself yet. Mamá said you could ride to Owensboro with me. You have to come to the mall with me, please.”

I want to tell her no; I really do, but I’m not sure anyone could look in her eyes and say no. “I guess I could go for a little while.”

“You need to go anyway. Mamá said you didn’t have any clothes, and you’re too skinny to wear either of ours.” She looks up and down my nearly emaciated frame. “I wouldn’t buy much though. Mamá will fatten you up really quick.”

Hearing her calling Nina her Mama has me a bit confused, but then I remember how little she was in the picture with Bowie that I saw earlier. If Nina took her in at that age then she is the only mother Rachel knows. From what little I saw of her, I doubt a young girl could ask for a better Mama. Other than mine, of course. Just the thought of my mom brings on a wave of sorrow. Even though I didn’t get to see her or Dad often, it was comforting knowing they were so close.

“Come on.” With those words she grabs my hands and starts to pull me through the house. Leading me to my bedroom, she pulls me through the door.

“Grab your stuff, so we can go.” She orders, with a smile in her voice.

I walk over to the bedside table and grab my purse, which holds the money Jeremy gave me. I will buy the necessities, but nothing more. Until I can get a job, it’s all the money I have in the world. I can’t live here for free forever. Just thinking about having to find somewhere to go sends a sharp pain through my head.

“Hurry up.” Rachel calls from the doorway, completely oblivious of my worries.

Shaking away my thoughts of where I will go or how I will survive, I slide on my shoes and walk to her. “Just remember, I don’t want to stay at the mall too long.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t.” She says with a huge smile on her face.



*****

Three and a half hours later, we are still walking from store to store. I have two bags full of clothes and anything else my new friend thought I might need, none of which I paid for. According to Rachel, Bowie left money with Nina for me to get what I needed and she’s determined to spend every penny of it.

Holding up a purple tee-shirt with JUICY written across the chest, she smiles. “How about this? You would look so hot wearing it.”

“I don’t think so.” I say, with a shake of my head. I’m getting casual clothes. I plan to never wear anything with a designer label on it again, but I think that shirt is a bit much for me.

She goes on and on about how good it would look on me, as my eyes wander across the store. Settling on the doorway, the salon across the corridor catches my eye through the storefront. I watch as a woman walks out running her hand through her hair. My own hand mimics hers, pulling my hair forward to look at it. Seeing the bright red strands against my skin, I make a decision.

“I want to go to the salon,” I whisper out, not believing I’m about to do this.

Her eyes move to mine. “What did you say?”

I straighten my shoulders and say it again. “I want to go to the salon. I need to get my hair cut and colored.”

“Spa day,” She squeals as a smile spreads across her face. “We’ll have to get our nails done too.”