Years ago, this would have given me no trouble. Dressing up and going out with women was second nature to me. Although I usually didn’t go out on formal dates with them. A pickup across the bar was enough for me for the night. But then, that was how I got myself into this whole night crawler mess to begin with.
I had paged through my wardrobe like a teenage girl going to her first boy band concert; and eventually chose dark pants and a dark shirt, open at the collar. With a bit of product in my hair, and freshly saved, I was surprised how much a difference it made in my appearance. Once upon a time, there had been a whole team of people whose job it was to make me look irresistible. Now, it was just up to me. Although I had to admit, I looked a damn sight better than when I was normally walking around the school, unshaven and in yesterday’s clothes.
I picked up a package I had sent my secretary out to get last night, and made my way out of my condo, which I had taken pains to clean. Depending on how the day went, who knew where we would end up?
I drove on purpose, pulling down my sunglasses against the morning glare. I didn’t want this to end up as another bar date, stumbling out with blood turned to alcohol if it went badly. If I chose to drive, I knew I’d keep myself in check.
Amy was waiting outside the front doors, and my jaw almost dropped when I saw her. She was wearing a black jersey dress that fell loose and tight at just the right places. Amy had always been small, but she wasn’t without curves and long legs that seemed to go on for miles. She was wearing flats and she had her makeup lightly applied, so that her eyes shined in a way that they hadn’t in weeks. She had a small clutch purse in bright yellow that attracted my attention. She looked absolutely stunning with her hair loose and flowing around her face. I nearly drove into a post in my haste to park.
“Hey,” I called, trying to keep it casual.
She smirked. “You alright, Liam?”
“I’m fine.” The gentleman in me forced me out of the car and had me holding the door for her, until she was safely inside and buckled up. “Oh. This is for you.”
She opened the corsage cautiously, and I saw a smile light up her face. It had been so long since I made her smile.
“Thank you, it’s really pretty,” she said, putting it on her wrist.
I slid into the driver’s side, and started the car.
“So, where are going?”
“There’s something I had in mind, but first, do you need anything? Breakfast? Coffee?”
“Coffee would be great,” she replied.
I mentally tried to calculate where the nearest coffee place was. There was still an awkwardness between us that had never existed before, a silence that had once been comfortable and was now filled with words we didn’t know how to say. “Was your night alright?”
“It was fine,” I said, not wanting to tell her that everything was easier because I was thinking about today.
The transformation had not seemed as painful, the bloodlust not as bad, because I was distracted by plans of today. I remembered that clearly, from the year we were together. If I wanted to ease the pain, I simply had to think of being with Amy, and I would be able to get through it. Even better were the nights she came and sat with me, a cup of strong coffee in her hand and her homework in her lap. Those silences that passed in the dark of the night, broken by her typing and my happy sighs, were easy; peaceful. I barely felt pain or cravings those nights.
But since we had been apart, it was worse than ever.
“That’s good,” she replied and resumed looking out the window.
We didn’t say another word to each other until we had both gotten breakfast and were back on the highway. With each moment that passed, I was worried that we were drifting further apart from each other, and it wouldn’t be salvageable. Finally, she spoke and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“So, where are we going?”
I smiled. “It’s a surprise,” I said, and then my head whipped to her, suddenly realizing that this could not be a good idea. “Is that ok? That it’s a surprise? I mean… it’s alright?”#p#分页标题#e#
“It’s fine.” She shrugged and sipped her coffee.
“So um… how was your night? Are you feeling ok? How are things, uh, going? You did great in rehearsal yesterday.”
In rehearsal, it was like we were two separate people, who didn’t know every intimate aspect of each other’s bodies. We spoke to each other when we needed to, and not a word more. There wasn’t even a flicker of recognition for the hours we spent lying in each other’s arms. We had taken a break before, when we first started dating, but this felt a hundred times worse than that. Before, there were just a few months of history to forget. Now, there was over a year and everyone knew about it. Sometimes, I felt like the actors were more entertained by watching us ignore each other than actually rehearsing. Not to mention that actors were very sensitive to body language. They had to be in order to imitate things on stage. They must have known that something had changed, and it was bigger than just Amy and me. At the moment, the show was fast approaching. Selene’s ticket was bought and I knew she had a plan; she had to. And up until a little bit ago, we were prepared to handle it. But now I was considering offering myself as a sacrifice; it felt like everything was gone.