But as lunch ended and we separated to get changed, it was getting harder and harder.
“How is everything?” Sarah asked, as I put her on speakerphone an hour later, rummaging around my room for my black outfit.
“It’s…ok.” I replied, pulling off my clothes to put the dress over my head. “I mean, as ok as can be expected. Liam’s sad, of course, and I miss her…but we’re ok. He took me out for pizza yesterday before the show and we had a good time. Sometimes…” I took a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror. “Sometimes I think my heart will burst from loving him so much. This is like, Hollywood Movie type love. I thought it was fake.”
“It is a Hollywood Romance,” Sarah sighed happily on the other side of the phone. “And trust me, I know all about it because even here, the tabloid magazines tell me your every move. How was your pepperoni pizza with olives, by the way?”
“Shut up,” I laughed, a rare occurrence in the past few weeks, as I swept my hair up into a bun. “Did you submit your application yet for the school? Deadlines for the graduate program are only a few days away.”
Liam had decided to branch out and offer a graduate program next year that would be housed in a small building just off campus. He wanted no more than 10 students to try it out, and I, of course, had recommended Sarah. She didn’t know yet, but I was pretty sure all I had to do was say the word and Liam would let her in.
“I’m just finishing it up,” she replied. “I’m so excited. We could spend all next year together!”
“Well regardless, I’ll see you in a few weeks,” I said, putting a final pin in my hair.
“Yes, I can’t wait to see you in Gatsby, chorus member number 5,” she teased me, and I rolled my eyes.
“I should go, Sarah. It’s almost time.”
“Yeah,” her voice dropped a note. “I wish I could be there for you, Amy.”
“Soon enough,” I smiled sadly as I went to the phone. “Soon enough. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye,” she said, and hung up, leaving me alone in the silence of the room.
A knock came at the door, and I opened it. Liam stood there, head to toe in black as well.
“Hey,” I said. “You ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied. “Amy, there’s a lot of paparazzi outside, alright? I just wanted to warn you.”
“They can’t even give us a moment’s peace, for a funeral?” I asked, as I locked my door and we headed towards the theater. Liam sighed.
“This is…the life I chose. But it doesn’t have to be yours.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, taking his arm. “It is, and there’s no way out of it.”
Had we not had reserved seats in the theater, we never would have gotten in. Every seat and aisle was packed with people who knew Porsche and who would miss her terribly.
Taking Liam’s hand at the start of the service, I bit my lip, resolving not to cry. I wanted to be strong for him. However, when the Corps de Ballet came out onto the stage and performed a short piece behind a holographic video of my friend, I couldn’t stop the tears.