Beautiful Monster(72)

"Alright, take your mark," he said. I looked around, confused, until I saw a masking tape "x" on the floor. Thankful I figured that out, I slid over to it, rooting my feet firmly on it.
"Great. So just slate and then I'll read for you," he said.
"Slate?" I asked, confused. He rolled his eyes.
"Name, agency contact."
"Oh...I don't have an agency."
"Just your phone number, then," he looked bored. I stuttered through the sentence and he nodded.
"Alright. Now, look at the camera when you say your lines and don’t move from your mark.”
              “Don’t move?” I looked down at the spot and looked back up, confused. How was I supposed to portray character if I didn’t move?
              “That’s right. Don’t move.”
I saw the red light click off and then on again, and I looked at the script in my hands one last time.
              “And … action.”
              The scene itself was easy enough. I had long since learned how to cry on cue, and I made sure to use that skill. The lines flowed naturally, but I felt restricted and stiff by my lack of movement. Twice, I bobbed out of frame and had to be waved back in.  The tears that flowed down my face felt forced, and I had never been so happy to reach the end of a scene.
              “Ok, thanks,” he said, looking right at me. I realized I was done and nodded.
“Uh…so...” I said, unsure. The cameraman rolled his eyes.
              “They’ll call you if they are interested.”
              “Ok.” I replied. I knew I had done something wrong, and I felt my cheeks burning as I left the room. Everything about that audition had been different. I had never had a camera in my face like that before, and I had never been so restricted to one spot.
Even though I was supposed to be at rehearsal, and seeing him in less than an hour, I couldn’t help but text Liam. I had to know what I did wrong.
Are you busy? Can you call me for a quick second? I wrote, checking it for spelling before sending it. I had barely taken 3 steps before my phone rang.
              “Hello?” I asked, knowing it was him.
              “I got your message,” he said, talking softly. I assumed he was already in the theater. “What’s the matter?”
              “Nothing. I’m sorry I’m going to be late, but Shannon told me about a commercial audition, so I thought I’d go.”
              “As you said,” he said, approvingly. “You should always take opportunities like that, especially when your schedule can be re-arranged with little inconvenience. We’re just working on some fight chorography, so you’d be sitting here doing nothing anyway.”
“Yeah” I replied, my voice sounding far off. Liam picked up on it and made a noise of concern.
“How’d it go?”
              “Uh…the acting part went ok,” I said, as I walked down the sidewalk, falling into a rhythm. “The words poured out of my mouth. But the rest of it was weird. It was a little room with only one guy on the panel, filming, and he told me to ‘slate’, which I had no idea about, and then made me stay on this little ‘X’ the whole time, and not have freedom of character movement. Do you think it was sketchy?”
Liam laughed at that, although it was friendly.
              “That’s film and TV auditions for you, Amy. Always exactly like that. They are very different from theater, and it’s almost as if it’s a whole different world. Film and theater actors sometimes don’t translate over. But you felt ok when it came down to the actual acting part, yes?”
“Yes,” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I just…” I closed my eyes for a moment. “I wish that I could have talked to you beforehand. I felt like an idiot. In fact…” I took a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say was powerful. “I think talking to you before the Gatsby audition was the only thing that kept me sane.”